When chopsticks themselves are a novelty

Strangely enough, I have had several conversations regarding the Chowhound forums over the past few weeks, and eventually we always end up laughing at good old Charles Yu, this dude who posts intensely detailed reviews in a very helpful and knowledgeable manner. Perhaps not so coincidentally, all these conversations occur between the same three people, so maybe we're just huge nerds.

Anyways, for those who don't frequent Chowhound, Charles Yu would be the equivalent of Mahjongmaniac (aka The Pochacco guy) on RedFlagDeals.

And if none of these references make sense to you, then you have already judged me. So let's move on.

Anyways, I always find it surreal when people on Chowhound swoon over common restaurants in the suburbs. Places along the Hwy.7 strip that I would go for family meals every week or so, sometimes get all this fancy praise heaped on them, with flocks of foodies making treks from downtown just to get a taste.

This blows my mind. I mean, I feel like being Chinese has so spoiled my perception of the food I consume daily that my standards have been skewed. I'm like a guy who's been dating Minka Kelly and now is no longer impressed by the likes of a Kristen Kreuk. It's madness.

It takes a lot more for a Chinese meal to impress me than any other cuisine, and I can probably only list on one hand the number of times I had Chinese food and was completely blown away.

I have never had this conversation with any non-Chinese people before, so I am curious if this ungrateful phenomenon applies to all cultures. I would imagine the appeal and novelty of different ethnic flavours always carries some clout in a dining experience, so to some extent this is not an uncommon thing.

But still. When people are making a ruckus about restaurants you've already filed under "good on an average scale", it makes you reconsider your edible world, y'know?

And great. Now I'm hungry. If I ever became a food critic, I can already tell I'd be one of the fat ones.

Snow!

That last week of temperate weather really lulled me into a false sense of spring. I was quite surprised to see snow out my window today. Not that I'm angry, I guess I had just taken for granted that there's probably another several weeks of bitter winter goodness to come. Tobogganing anyone?

I'm starting to run low on essentials. I'm all out of Johnnie Black (both bottles!). Half my Bacardi Black is gone. I still have an unopened Beefeater on my desk, but I'm not going to bother making GT's to drink by myself. People need to come over for that kind of effort.

Also, still unemployed and bleeding funds. But I don't so much mind that part. I'd rather go out enjoying myself till the very end than saving up scratch and being miserable every day about it, y'know? I'm pretty optimistic things will turn up fine. They always seem to, although my parents are starting to worry a little bit about my unwavering self-assurance. I don't blame them. I do drink all their orange juice and probably account for half their monthly utilities bill.

I think if I did have more money to burn, I'd probably spend it on classes. I am currently aiming to improve my graphic design and guitar playing abilities. Part of me still believes I am somehow a prodigy at some instrument that I have never played before.

Every time I sit down in front of a piano, I think maybe now I'll be miraculously amazing at it.

In hindsight, this may be a rudimentary form of insanity. Rather, I like to think of it as harnessing my latent superpowers bit by bit...

The love post

You know what I've never understood about Valentines day? Hearts.

Hearts to me represent emotion, desire, passion, life.

These are all important facets of our romantic relationships. But in the end, the most important part of being in love is the brain. It's the ability to make logical choices in a process that celebrates insanity.

Without our brains, we'd all go crazy chasing our own tails in endless circles.

So be a trend setter. Give out little candied brains this weekend instead, with phrases written on them like "I know you're an asshole, but at least I can admit I am too".

It may not make your significant other swoon, at first.

But it will.

Once they've had some time to think about it.

frack

It took me almost a week, but I am now completely caught up with Battlestar Galactica, minus only those web episodes and that bonus movie with the half-asian chick in it. I'm too lazy to download a two hour movie at this point.

Anyways, if I have learned one thing from this show, it is this:

I want to marry Grace Park.

A quick IMDB search reveals that she was on Edgemont (She was? So that show gave us Grace Park and Kristen Kreuk? In retrospect it's the english-speaking Asian males wet dream.)

She was also a dancer in Romeo Must Die.

From humble beginnings indeed.

I officially hate the Raptors

*Apparently I am not the only one who feels this way. Globe and Mail reporter Michael Grange, who's job it is to cover the Raptors for a national newspaper, has decided to stop watching Raptors games.

Against my better judgment, I tuned into the game tonight to watch us get massacred by the Cleveland LeBrons.

I only watched the first three minutes then turned off the television in disgust.

- Wally Szczerbiak three (made)

- Missed layup by Chris Bosh

- Wally Szczerbiak three (made)

- Anthony Parker jumper (missed)

- Wally Szczerbiak three (missed)

- Jermaine O'neal travelling (TO)

- Mo Williams jumper (made)

- Chris Bosh jumper (made)

- Wally Szczerbiak three (missed)

- Offensive rebound Ben Wallace

- LeBron James, alley-oop dunk

CLE: 10, TOR: 2

The Raptors gave up a back-to-back-to-back three's to Cleveland's shooting guard to start the game. That's three times, on the first three offensive possessions. Another open jumper to Mo Williams on the fourth possession, then another open three to Wally Sczerbiak.

To compound the matters of this absolute futility that we call a basketball team, Ben Wallace gathered the offensive rebound off this fourth miss, in the middle of four Raptor players.

Also of note, the layup Chris Bosh missed on his first touch was a wide open lane, with Zydrunas Ilgauskas standing directly under the net in the restricted area.

Any number of NBA player would have dunked on Z and gotten the 'And one' call. Instead, Chris Bosh purposely avoided contact, and missed the layup instead.

For a team to give up the same open three point shot for the other team's best shooter four times in the first three minutes is absolutely unacceptable. I've given up on this team before, but after watching the first three minutes of this game, I knew they no longer even deserved a shred of my attention.

They're dogging it out there. And if they've given up on the court, why should I bother caring?

I hope the rest of the city and Raptors fans do what's right, and stop supporting them until they show something worth being supported.

To my own dismay, I couldn't help but check in on the score at the end of the first quarter.

Cleveland 37

Toronto 15

Long distance secret lovers

I have a problem.

In the past four days I have watched roughly 40 hours of Battlestar Galactica. My eyes hurt and my body feels like what I imagine a bowl of soft butter must be like.

Anyways.

Sometimes I get calls on my cell phone from numbers that I do not recognize. The most recent, after a quick google search, have been one caller from North Bay, and earlier today, somebody from Orange County, California called me (the O.C.!).

I know these are just wrong numbers, but sometimes it's nice to imagine someone completely out of the blue might happen onto your cell phone.

Like "Hello, this is the Anaheim Angels. We'd like to sign you as a relief mascot."

Yeaaa... that's the dream.

Tennis, anyone?

Watching the Australian Open has made me antsy for summer to come. 

It's not like I'm good at tennis, but it's one of those sports I wished I played more, and was better at. Except nobody plays with me except this random girl, who I can't hit it hard at or I'll bean her in the eye. 

If you play tennis, please let us know. We are desperately looking for partners because we get tired easily.

Nadal vs. Federer in the final. Gonna be a doozy.

I've said it once if I've said it a thousand times...

Physical observations

My lower body is freakishly strong.

This is the conclusion I have come to after (intermittently) working out for the past several weeks. When it comes to upper body or core exercises, I can't even come close to keeping up with those freaks of nature in the p90x videos.

The plyometrics session however is kind of funny. It's basically just squats and jumping, which is kind of up my alley. I can actually say with some honesty that I don't find that session very difficult, and can usually outpace the video.

Think about that. I have the upper body of a skinny desk jockey, but the lower body of a creatine enhanced muscle bound hulk. I find that hilarious.

Strong probability for an explanation likely resides in my lifetime of basketball and softball, but in general I have noticed that asian guys tend to have strong lower bodies. Like, really thick calves and quads. Have you ever seen Yao Ming's legs? They're tree trunks!

Compare his calves to Dikembe Mutombo's in this picture. They're almost twice as large, even though he's only four inches taller. Crazy.

I wonder why this is. Maybe it's evolutionary from hauling bricks up a mountain to build a giant-ass wall. Conversely, you'd think we'd be better at track and field sports, or cycling at least, with all that lower body strength. The day paddle boating becomes an Olympic event, the world had better watch out.

In due time I suppose, our lower body powers will be properly harnessed.

But for now we bide our time.

Please spend indiscriminately

You know, perusing the highlights of the budget (man are we boring. BUDGET 2009!!! WooWoo!) I realized that despite all our racial harmony, we really aren't making any progress at all in terms of finding some sort of harmonious long-term plan for Aboriginal Canadians.

Aboriginals
$515-million over two years for schools, water and key community services.
$200-million for skills and training.
$400-million for social housing on reserves.
$325-million to aboriginal organizations and provinces to deliver health programs and child and family services.

That's a whole lot of money for people who've been here longer than anyone else. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against this spending (although I'm sure many might be) but I simply find it astounding that after 150 odd years we still haven't come to any sort of relationship. I simply don't know enough about this topic to take any stances, I'm sure there are complexities and ideologies against integration, but I'd certainly like to know what they are.

1.4 billion dollars to essentially tread water. There must be a better way...

Recession bingo!

First off, Novak Djokovic was felled from the Australian open due to heat stroke.

There are some problems where, even though I feel bad for someone, I am strangely envious of them as well.

Anyways.

Have you heard the radio commercials where two women talk about the coalition possibly shooting down today's budget? I wonder how those ads are received by demographic. Personally I find many Conservative ads are starting to sound more and more like propagandized state messages, but I can see how my relative liberal bias' might incline me to that.

I suppose it's the premise that negative advertising works at all that bothers me. One would think we'd place a priority on understanding how our country is run, but the whole pre-holiday debacle revealed all sorts of troubling trends: Who's our head of state? Is the coalition a constitutionally elected government?

If you're going to partake in the political process, shouldn't we all make it our responsibility to understand it? We don't even have complicated issues like a State College system to deal with like the Americans do. All things being equal, our parliament is pretty easy to understand. Only two years ago did we as a country shoot down a change to a mixed-member proportion system not because of an educated decision, but our general laziness to figure out what the hell mixed-member proportion actually meant.

We need a way to make Canadian politics exciting. There must be a way to inject intrigue and enthusiasm about how our country is run, and a lot of that has to do with our actual leaders I suppose. Not exactly a bunch of visionaries, these boys and girls.

Should be an interesting day still. I thoroughly enjoy the fact that as we have all been swept up in the Obamafication of western society, we've forgotten that here at home our own gong show of a government has been twiddling it's thumbs in time-out, still bickering and still doing no actual governing to speak of.

Hip to be square

I don't think I'm down with this newfangled use of the word "fail". It just seems too... nerdy. It's on par with saying pwned, in my book, which frankly no adult should ever do.

Kids these days.

Anyways, it's Friday night.

Flip on NBC and watch FNL, it'll make your evening I promise!

Mouthfuls of pride

I read the Fountainhead over my last vacation, which was perhaps an indicator of how much free time I had while in Asia, but I digress.

The protagonist is a completely uncompromising human being. He is made to be a virtuous dude, no doubt, by Mrs. Rand.

The problem is, I'm not entirely sure there's such thing as non-compromising beings in this world.

Or at least, I've yet to meet one?

Why I will always love Steve Nash

Last week I received the latest ESPN magazine in the mail, and upon flipping through the first five pages and getting to Bill Simmons' latest column, my eyes grew wide and my breath caught in my throat.

HAS ANYONE SEEN STEVE NASH LATELY? ... NASH WAS EXPLOITED DEFENSIVELY MORE TIMES THAN LINDSAY LOHAN. - pull quotes from the Simmons piece

You can see how I'd be perturbed.

Essentially, the argument is that playing for Mike D'Antoni and his offense inflated Steve Nash's numbers, ostensibly making his MVP years and overall legacy "asterisks'" in the history of the game.

I respect Bill Simmons. He's a witty, observant sports columnist who often provides more accurate insight using his sports savvy and gut instinct than many trained journalists wielding notebooks of research and calculators of statistical metrics.

In this case however, I call bullshit.

I agree that playing in Phoenix inflated Nash's numbers. This much is for certain. What I don't like is the idea that somehow that is wrong, or unfair to the players on all the teams that played in cities not ending in 'X' during D'Antoni's tenure.

The argument of players putting up career numbers being a fluke makes no sense. Yes, Chris Duhon is playing great, but how could that possibly mean he's playing better than he is? What does that even mean really? Doesn't that simply show that, provided with the right environment, every NBA players could put up better numbers? And in fact, isn't that what D'Antoni does? Foster an environment whereby his players produce to the greatest potential their talent allows (see; Marion, S.)?

Why is that an unfair advantage? How is that an asterisks? Frankly the greater logistical failure in the column is the fact that, for much of the 70's and 80's, teams played at a faster pace and had nearly 30 more possessions per game than even the heralded 2004-2005 Phoenix Suns.

Detroit beat Denver 186-184 on December 13, 1983 in a game that featured only one overtime period. ONE! Those two teams put up a combined 370 points in 53 minutes of play. To put things in perspective, the highest scoring game yesterday was Houston's 115-113 win over Denver in regulation, or in other words, 142 fewer points in 5 fewer minutes played.

Also, maybe the Nuggets should stop getting into shootouts. But I digress.

My point is that in that ridiculous game from 1983, only Isaiah Thomas averaged double-digits in assists out of all the players from either of those team's rosters. He finished that season at 11.1 assists per game. Again, for context, this is just shy of Nash's 11.5 apg from the 2005 NBA season.

You get where I'm going here? What Nash did in his MVP years is not merely a result of circumstance. Other players have, and will continue to play for teams and in games where pace is pushed faster than the league-wide mean. This strategy is not new. But Nash managed to thrive in this environment perhaps more than any other player the NBA has ever seen.

Replace Steve Nash in 2005 with the 2009 iteration of Chris Duhon, and do you think the Suns are still title contenders that year? I think the answer is pretty clear.

An asterisks on the Suns is ridiculous. What would it say? "note: this team scored a lot" ?

Stick to 90210 jokes Simmons. You got too big for your britches this time, friend.

Obamarama

Today's the day.

Three hours from now, Barack Obama will be sworn in as president No. 44 amid much celebration, fanfare and tears shed of joy. Meanwhile, the 43rd president will quietly slip away into the shadows, remembered almost exclusively as the punch-line to a Daily Show-esque political barb.

Watching the events this weekend, one can't help but be in awe of the absolute scale of this occasion. Not in some sort of metaphorical way, but in an actual way; the sheer volume of people in washington; the ridiculous amount of media coverage. Until this year, have you ever heard of people getting together and taking a day off work to have a presidential inauguration party? Were there t-shirts being sold at your street corner when Bill Clinton took the office?

It's unbelievable how much this man is loved. He is John Lennon, Michael Jordan, the Pope and the Dalai Lama all rolled into one.

It, frankly, is frightening. The burden of expectation on this man to change the world is crushing. That he handles it with such grace is either a result of supreme ignorance, or yet another example of what makes him perhaps like no individual who has ever gone before him.

And I suspect he is not an ignorant man.

Whatever happens next, however long this honeymoon lasts, today's moment is something special. Before it is tainted by reality, before it is brought back down to earth by bills piling up and people losing their jobs. By soldiers dying in wars and children wasting away to famine.

I have never, ever seen one man embody the hope of a planet like the man who is assuming power of the world's most powerful nation today.

Here's hoping it all works out.

When delicious pickles aren't enough to win our hearts

It's been a tough three weeks for Israel.

Your trashy neighbor has a child who constantly pees on your lawn and sets flaming bags of poop on your porch.

You retaliate but laying some hurt on said child, but his parents protest (yet also refuse to discipline him themselves) and to top things off, children's aid comes and reprimands you for your abusive ways.

It's just not a cut and dry situation. With that said however...

It can't be good for the PR battle to bomb the UN Headquarters in Gaza while the U.N. Chief is in the vicinity.

Ban expressed "outrage" over the bombing. He said Israeli Defence Minister Ehud Barak told him there had been a "grave mistake" and promised to pay extra attention to protecting U.N. installations. The Israeli military had no immediate comment on the bombing, which a U.N. official said injured at least three people.

That must be the most understated paragraph I've read in a while. You think Barak is sending Ban an apologetic fruit basket as we speak? What do you even write on a card for that situation? "Sorry for almost blowing you and your international peacekeeping efforts up. Lunch on me next Tuesday?"

Anyways, in completely unrelated news, the following excerpt from the latest Simmons mailbag really puts all this upcoming inauguration hoopla in perspective:

Q: Did you know Gabrielle Carteris turned 48 this month? Forty-eight! Barack Obama doesn't turn 48 until August. An original 90210 cast member is older than our president.
-Nora L., Poughkeepsie, N.Y.

SG: Are you trying to get me to kill myself?

Kobe Bryant outdone by former Raptor

Roger Mason Jr. hit another dagger tonight, the shorter of the two ex-Raptors who are now playing crunch time minutes for the perennial contender Spurs.

My thoughts are not with the Christmas Day deja vu ending though.

I was thinking more about how everyone contends that LeBron James or Kobe Bryant are the best basketball players on earth.

Now, I like to think of myself as a well rounded individual. But, can you even imagine the prospect of being the best anything on the planet? I am rather curious what that feels like -- to know that you are better than any other living human being at your job. Number one out of 6-billion.

That must be a strange, warm and fuzzy feeling.

Kind of like how I feel when I play Cranium against the girls.

Twitter for masochists

I briefly debated following this feed.

Then I decided to just take a nap and pretend it's not happening instead. Twitter should be a happy place...

Beginning in earnest

When people say they're looking for a job, they really mean one of two things:

1) They are unemployed and content but open to the idea of a job should one fall into their lap

2) They are (pro)actively seeking employment

By-and-large, I'm going to say most of the unemployed people we know (guilty as charged!) fall into the former of the two categories.

I think I've pretty much hit the unemployment wall however, where waking up everyday with nothing to do has finally gotten a little boring. It's been three-and-a-half months, so this makes a lot of sense to me, as any further weeks where accomplishing my P90x goals are the highlight of each day would pretty much cause me to throw myself in front of a subway.

So this week, I started the "actually looking for a job" phase of my extended break, posting resumes on all the job search sites and checking websites and applying for multiple jobs a day with the goal of at least 10-15 a week.

Step two will be to finally canvas friends and family to see if anyone can help out at all with a hook up.

I am in general a rather kind human being, and although I don't have an awful lot of wealth and power, I find over the years I have been able to build up a fair amount of good will, connections and mutual respect. In general, these things are pretty meaningless when all I want is to pay off my credit card bill, but here's hoping that being the good guy pays off for once. I'm cashing in my pay-it-forwards!

Cold calls started coming in today, surprisingly quickly considering I only put up my resume two days ago. Sketchy companies abound, but I'm open to most interviews just for the experience. Rejecting people is something I must learn in facets of life.

I think the toughest thing is just deciding what I want to do. Obviously I'm seeking a journalism job, but frankly the market it... horrible. My list of what I want out of a job are also not necessarily isolated to journalism positions:

- work for a good cause

- opportunity to write and express creativity

- challenging projects that demand learning some new skills

- enjoy the company of my peers

- decent pay

That's it, really. I'm debating whether to take unrelated positions in companies where I'm interested in that field. Is getting a foot in the door -- albeit not in the capacity you'd like -- worth the investment in time both short and long term? Would it be detrimental down the road to say, work in administration for a creative company when eventually you want to get into the creative aspect?

Questions questions questions...

There is no price for awesomeness

It has recently come to my attention that, despite being a funny movie, Kung-Fu Panda is essentially a giant death match where endangered species' all try to destroy each other.

This is at once a hilarious and strangely unsettling realization.

I think I need to sit down for a little bit.

Applebees is a metaphor

I am a huge fan of Friday Night Lights (the television show, not the movie). Some of you may know this, some may not, almost assuredly none of you care. Regardless, I will proceed with my FNL love-rant.

The third season is winding down, with only one episode remaining that, from the looks of it, will be the series finale for this astoundingly underrated show.

So much of our entertainment these days is about reality, but none of it is actually real. For this reason it is with baited breath that every week over the last three years (during sweeps at least) I downloaded each new episode of FNL.

This entirely fictional drama (I will concede it could somewhat accurately be described as a teen-drama, but I'd rather not), has managed to portray on television a reality that so often is completely lost in the flashy razzle dazzle of our ADD demands.

I know it seems odd, but to me, FNL is the closest television show to The Wire (excluding Generation Kill, for obvious reasons) that's around right now, and that's probably the highest praise any show can be bestowed. It builds its characters and story arc slowly and deliberately, drawing you into another world much like the reading of a good book. The show highlights the nuances of life, and that's what makes it both incredibly real and often remarkably touching.

I'm not saying this show is perfect. In fact, I dare say that season two was actually somewhat forgettable. I also am not lamenting its demise, as with the aforementioned The Wire, a good show has to know when to pack it in. Stories are made to end. And so, bittersweetly, FNL must as well.

But if you haven't seen this show yet, I'm not entirely sure what else to tell you.

I just want to scream it from the rooftops. I don't know why we don't say it more often.

I love Friday Night Lives.

You bet your hamas

Does this seem like a lose-lose situation for anybody else?

It seems counterintuitive perhaps at first, but to me the whole situation seems to be solved more by typical childhood psychology. You catch more flies with honey don't you?

Why retaliate to rocket fire with indiscriminate violence? Israel will never remove terrorists from Palestine. That must be done be the palestinian people. It sounds nuts, but I think the best answer is to agree on a concession of land, pull out the occupation then help provide supplies, and people to build the infrastructure of a Palestinian state.

If Israel is a prime supporter of that state, conditional on peace, I cannot fathom citizens in Palestine would support a Hamas government. Indeed, one would suspect they would take action into their own hands to ensure peace is kept and these extremists do not foil a golden opportunity for statehood, peace and a more hopeful future.

Short-term, obviously Israel would be making a huge sacrifice. It will be sending in aid to its enemy even while rockets are lobbed back in return, and civilians will likely suffer or possibly die with no recourse.

But is there any other way? Short of genocide, I suppose.

Wait a minute

OK, so I decided I'd give this workout routine a shot, since I spent days downloading it. I'll do it everyday for a month, and see what kind of results I get. Today I just did an hour of plyo, which was probably stupid considering I'm playing basketball in 3 hours, but oh well.

Anyways, here's something they don't tell you -- you're supposed to buy this special drink formula from them and drink it after every session (i.e. every day). You know what's in the drink? CREATINE! No wonder you get results! hahahaha

Oh well. Let's see how this works au natural. 3 days down....uh...27 to go. To be fair, they work you pretty hard. Like, I am constantly on the edge of throwing up hard.

A 12 step program for hockey

When I was a kid, much like every young Torontonian, I used to plop myself in front of the television every saturday night to watch the Leafs sort-of-almost play hockey. There were the dark days of the early nineties, then the great days of the mid-late nineties, then more dark, thennnn now a very general indifference to the team's complete and utter mediocrity. 

That being said, my interest in the sport of hockey in general has waned considerably over the past five years, but every so often something comes up that reminds me why although it's a great sport, it is considered just a notch below the glorified demolition derby known as NASCAR in the professional sports hierarchy. 

This sport still glorifies fighting. 

Think about that. It's a game, played by grown men, that promotes having a talentless goon on your team just to fight the other team's talentless goon or hurt the other team's best players.

If all the Raptors did every game was send Jake Voskuhl out to clothesline the other teams best player, and that action was condoned by the league, and every team did that, how seriously would you take NBA basketball? 

What about if every NFL game, one of the offensive linemen was assigned purely to rip off the other team's best d-man's helmet and challenge him to a fist fight on the field, as if it was two boys fighting during recess. THEN imagine the game stopped, and everyone watched the fight and clapped afterwards, patting them on the back for a job well done for reverting to 5 years old. Then 5 minutes later, those players were allowed back on the field. 

Watching Sportsnet, it's pathetic seeing people like Nick Kypreos and Bill Watters defend fighting in this sport. Their arguments are completely illogical, and even when confronted with this fact, respond just by yelling really loudly but saying nothing at all intelligent. 

Hockey shows are a lot like watching Fox News in this respect. Don Cherry is our Bill O'Reilly. Does that make you proud to be Canadian? 

And yet... for many, it does. 

Grow up, hockey. Please. We miss you, but the first step is to admit you have a problem.

Musical theatre time

Having had this discussion various times (and watching Dr. Horrible on multiple occasions) I think it's time I tried to write a little short musical just for the hell of it. The concept of a Terminator 2 based musical has been tossed around, but I'm think for the first venture something a little less complex might be easier to tackle. 

Ideas? Themes? 

Puppy love

Don't get your hopes up, I'm actually just talking about puppies. 

Getting a dog seems to be step two for many married couples. It's the in-between phase where you test your ability to be responsible for a life, and yet you can still afford to leave them at home alone every once in a while should you feel so inclined to be free. 

People sure do love their dogs. I've never understood that affinity however, perhaps because I've never owned a dog. But the folks who get all over-zealous about animal cruelty, up-in-arms when members of the British royal family hypothetically might have whacked his dog with a stick to break-up a dog fight. Those people confuse me. 

Why are they so angry? If somebody took a picture of a child bent of some fathers lap and he was getting beaten with a stick for getting into trouble, would that be child cruelty? No. It's tough love.

I guess it's unfair to paint all dog enthusiasts with one broad whacko brush, but the whole concept of treating them like people is weird to me. They're animals. They smell. Then again, a young baby and a dog are actually pretty similar, right down to the crawling and stuff. But I sure as hell don't understand having babies at this age either, so it's probably just me.

Feeling the burn

It took me many many days, but I finally finished downloading all of this P90x business just to see what the big deal is about. I skimmed some of the videos and my initial impression is "there is no way I can do these workouts," hahahaha 

Like, they're doing 300 crunches a day. Many of which are really two in ones. I can't do that. I think it'd be feasible if perhaps I took it down to 200 a day, and even that would cause me severe pain. Is that allowed? I guess I wouldn't be doing p90x anymore. I think I'm more of a... P90lite type of guy. 

I am a packrat

Since my return from vacation, I have slowly been making a conscious effort to get rid of the junk that I have amassed over the years. My room is just too cluttered with things I no longer need, no longer use, or in the vast majority of the cases, both. 

This includes books, clothes, papers, electronics, cd's, letters, cards, trinkets, pictures, frames... whatever man. The sheer volume of stuff I have where I could shrug my shoulders about when the last time I picked it up is unsettling. 

What is even more unsettling however, is that I am finding it painfully difficult to rid myself of these items. Do I really need 60 odd tshirts? Probably not, but I keep telling myself one day I will need all these ratty ones in case I paint a house. Or in my case, more accurately, I need at least 10 ratty tshirts in case I ever spend a week painting houses and can't do laundry. 

Same with shoes. I know it has holes in it and no longer has any cushioning, but perhaps one day I'll need to do some gardening in the mud and won't want to ruin my nicer shoes. Books? Maybe one day I'll actually want to learn all the case studies in international politics that I never fully bothered to learn during school. Then won't I miss these texts books? 

I have a broken MD player and a whole case of MD's in a drawer, along with cables that I no longer think work with any actual gadget I still own. I also have computer parts I'll never use, and cd's I don't remember buying. But I can't seem to bring myself to throw anything away.

ANYTHING AT ALL. I always just end up standing in the middle of my room holding an empty garbage bag, mulling things over, then putting them back down. Inevitably I will end up reading a book while an empty garbage bag remains forgotten in the closet.

I have a problem people. Help me.

Dave was right

I can't stop watching the OC marathon. 

Yes, I know how I'm gay.

But why you ask? Because I never realized lesbian House-doctors ex-OC-girlfriend was SLOAN?!

If lesbians could have biological babies, I would absolutely wait diligently for their offspring to be of age.

...I've said too much.

Christmas mysteries

First off -- house shoes? awesome.

Something I've never understood about gift buying is how guys all think women are hard to shop for, and women all think guys are hard to shop for. 

I do not ever, ever think we will see eye-to-eye on this one. 

Personally, as long as something is practical, I will appreciate it. Like, literally anything. Socks? great! Basketball? Awesome. Mp3 player? Neato. 

Women I will never understand. They are specific and expect you to understand incredibly vague hints. How is that easier?

Painful television ads

In no particular order, here are the most grating ads (and series of ads) on television right now: 

1) The Rogers mobile teenagers: Who are these kids, who actually relates to these spoiled brats and why hasn't anyone shot all of them yet? At least pick attractive unbelievable commercial characters. I find Rogers often uses unattractive actors, as if it's on purpose, but I can't imagine what that purpose is considering the way the commercials are actually shot.

2) The Best Buy reactions: Please. Please stop. You're ruining Christmas.

3) The Ford minority report: I suspect they purposely went for the "everyman" and "every-woman" actors to appeal to middle class families who want affordable cars. Despite that, they both seem like losers -- particularly when the guy holds the words 'Air Conditioning" and says "cool" like some wayward boomer who wandered into a rap concert. 

Honorary mention: Anything that has Galen Weston in it. That man has been drinking way too much of his PC Brand Kool-Aid. 

luxury items

So I don't have a lot of expendable income, but I have basically convinced myself that tomorrow I am going to go buy myself a pair of house shoes. 

Why? Because my feet are cold. And cold feet makes life less fun. And frankly, life is too short to not be having fun alllll the time. 

My transition into an elderly white woman is nearly complete. Now to bake some more cookies.

credit where credit is due

You know, there was a time when Hong Kong pop-culture was embarrassing. 

Badly acted movies, no art scene to speak of, fashion that was a decade stale and music that was by-and-large recycled North American muzak with Chinese lyrics. 

You gotta give it to the island though, the past decade or so and HK has become not just an economic player, but a major cultural mecca in terms of fashion and pop-culture trends. 

Did you know hip-hop is just discovering the G-shock now? As in, they are cool again, worn by the likes of Pharrell and Kanye West. 

I think every asian kid this side of the moon had a G-Shock (or Baby G) when they were 12. 

Props to the chinks baby. We're so ahead of the curve you'd think this was a math class. 

In the year 2000

For many, the year 2009 once meant laser weapons, flying cars, robot maids and wars fought primarily by robot maids in flying cars shooting laser weapons. 

At the very least, Back to the Future promised us self-lacing shoes and hover boards, but the closest we got were the McFly Hyperdunks, and sadly those still require manual lace-tying.

Technology may not have made the leaps and bounds we once envisioned, but I think it's still easy to forget how quickly much of today's ubiquitous items would have been considered witchcraft a mere decade ago. 

I remember, for example, not having internet. 

Think about that for a minute. Sure, we all remember a vague childhood that didn't include incessant email checking, mp3's and all-you-can-surf pornography. But I cannot for the life of me empathize with adults who lived their early 20's and onward without the 'net. How did they do it?! 

How did they find out what band was coming to town? Hear about new restaurants? Get up-to-the-minute news?

I remember checking the newspaper for movie listings. I remember reading Saturday morning comics. I remember playing gameboy tetris and thinking it was the most amazing thing ever. I remember playing with a first generation Ipod and thinking how nuts it would be to have all my mp3's in my pocket. I remember laserdiscs. Walkmans. Minidiscs. Betamax. And I'm only 26 for goodness sake. 

Honestly I don't know how senior citizens haven't all gone nuts yet when faced with modern technology. If somebody had given me a PSP when I was 10 I probably would have thought they were Jesus. 

And don't even get me started on cell phones and GPS and all that other do-hickory. 

To be honest though, I miss some of those things. Whatever happened to weekend comics anyhow? The funnies in general no longer seem to be a part of pop-culture, and that in itself is quite sad and worthy of its own post. This nostalgia has definitely reminded me that I am getting older. It doesn't help I've been playing a lot of SNES games lately. 

To wit, a classic Calvin & Hobbes. The world is a worse place for no longer having this strip -- a reminder that not every step forward is progress.

We love seeing Canadians succeed

From the looks and sounds of things, the Raptors are really taking a shining to Jay Triano. 

The got whupped in Utah but managed to play a respectable game against Portland despite allowing just enough of their old habits to creep in, denying them a win that would have been a heck of a boost going into Cleveland. 

Just goes to show that having the right boss can make all the difference in the world. I've always been of the mind that I try to never burn any bridges, but what do you do when the person you're working for is frankly, incompetent? 

Especially in a freelance situation such as mine, I really want to maintain relationships but I mean honestly. Somebody needs to set the record straight. Perhaps is should be me, perhaps not... that is the questions to mull.

Let it snow

It's the fat, slow falling type of snow flake. Soothing but deadly.

I've been mulling over how funny attraction is. Some of it it is straight forward in terms of the physical aspect, but a lot of it is really just a total crapshoot. 

Through enough experience, I can say with confidence that I know what I find attractive in a girl. I know what type of girl I'll be into. 

That doesn't mean I necessarily agree with my instincts though. That's where the problem lies. What if my brain doesn't like the type of girls that uh... the rest of me, likes. What is the ultimate outcome of such an epic battle? And I don't mean this in the sense of a one girl exceptional scenario. 

I mean, systematically all the over-arching traits that I find attractive in girls, part of my intelligent mind wants to overthrow and reject in favour of more rational fare. 

Is this change possible? Can a man be retrained? And if so, how? 

I wonder if there's a rehab for my addiction. I'm like a crack fiend. Only frankly, my addiction is more expensive. 

On a somewhat related note:

*awwww, they removed the embedding option to jizz in my pants. wait... that just came out wrong... doh! I mean.... dammit.

My Bible.

ZUNEGATE

The omnipresence of the president-elect is astounding.

No matter what website I visit, there's an article about Obama. It doesn't even matter the type of website it is, somehow it all ties in.

Obama plays basketball. He (might) have been spotted using a Zune instead of an Ipod. He doesn't like small yappy dogs. 

Good grief, he's become the kind of cultural icon that I don't think our society has had... frankly, ever, in my memory at least. Has anyone ever been as famous as this guy is right now?

Happiness is... contagious??

That seems like a strange word. This story is floating around today (here's the Globe column) that describes happiness as having a viral like impact on social networks. Personally I like the idea that one happy person could make a positive impact on people three or four degrees separated. The how part still has me puzzled (are they inferring it's by diffused proxy?) but I particularly like the use of the words contagious and virus. 

It's as if you have no choice, that you catch happiness without knowing or necessarily even wanting it. Does that actually happen? I'd like to track my own emotional state for some period of time just to analyze the social subtext and see what patterns emerge. 

If happiness is indeed contagious, does that then mean that if you are part of a stable and regular social group, any person who you decide to date must be approved by the majority of the group? Meaning, if your friends aren't happy with your relationship, does that actually mean that despite what you think, you really aren't happy with your relationship? 

That'd a scary thought frankly, I don't think I'd trust any of you to play matchmaker for me.

In another interesting story, apparently science is helping mute people speak. The gist of it is that by implanting a chip into this mute man's brain, when he thinks of a vowel sound the system outputs the appropriate sound electronically. 

Does anyone else see the obvious flaws with this system? You can't have something that says everything a man is thinking. He'd be arrested for sexual harassment within two hours of being released from his implant surgery. 

I actually think I've had nightmares where this exact thing happens to me. It's like "what women want" ... in reverse. 

Proroguepalooza 2008

*update* 

Prorogued! I just like saying that word. If there was an award for word of the year, no doubt it wins. If you had asked anybody in this country what "prorogued" meant 5 days ago you'd probably get punched in the face. Now it's on everyone's lips. The CBC is the new sesame street.

For all I mock this situation, I must say it's at least brought a modicum of entertainment value to Canadian politics that so often is lacking. Of course, it's entertainment more along the lines of TMZ than The Wire, so take from that what you will.

Seriously though, I haven't watched CBC Newsworld like this... ever. It's been my CNN this week, and I think at the very least it's getting Canadians more involved and opinionated about what's going on in Ottawa. Frankly, if you didn't vote, you have no right to complain. 

For the last hour and a half they've done nothing but show a shot of A DOOR. just that damn door at government house, for over an hour. Nobody walking through, nobody at the door. JUST A SHOT OF THE DOOR. Man. And this is considered exciting here in Canada. We are so awesome.

Justin Trudeau was also on earlier, and despite the wish that he might be our Obama, he definitely has a long ways to go. His oratory skills and media composure are nowhere near the president-elects (to be fair, few are), but the young Trudeau just needs to grow up a little more before he could be considered a leader of anything at all. 

As for my own take, they should just get this done with and kick the Conservatives out of government. They've done nothing productive. Let's get on with life. We can't afford to simply take a three week break in the middle of an economic crisis.

The opposite of narcolepsy

I suppose technically it would be insomnia, but that implies to me that narcolepsy is just that you sleep all the time. I was under the impression narcoleptics were equally categorized due to the fact that they can't control when thy fall asleep either, so technically insomnia's bizzarro doppelganger should be like, uncontrollable prolonged hibernation, or a mini-coma or something no? 

The reason I wonder is because I think I have whatever the opposite of narcolepsy is. I keep waking up for no reason, regardless of what time I sleep. The last few nights I've gone to bed at myriad times: 11pm, 12am, 3am, 2am and I always wake up naturally sometime between 5-7am. 

I haven't woken up to sunlight in over a week. I don't know why my body is doing this to me, sleeping is one of my special powers. This is like if Superman woke up one day and fell off a building trying to fly, or Oprah woke up and wasn't hungry -- it's unthinkable. 

Now, I realize this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's no coincidence I suppose that I've been more productive in regards to job searching and freelance work in the last week than I have in the entire month prior. Being awake before noon afford me all sorts of time to do work and still have my fun at night -- what a concept! 

I'm just curious why all of a sudden this would happen though? It's like my body is trying to tell me something, probably along the lines of "Hey dumbass, I'm sore from lying here." 

Fortunately, I often go to McDonalds for breakfast these days, so I suppose I still have the last laugh on my being. Take THAT colon. 

Common sense news

The CBC morning reporter is on location to get opinions about a possible coalition government. 

"It's pretty overwhelming negative," she concluded. Of course, she was standing in front of a Tim Hortons at 7am in the morning. 

I'm guessing if she was at a Starbucks there might have been a different conclusion drawn. 

Little things like that bother me about newscasts. Why are you so lazy? Go to a subway station or something. 

MP phone home

Down south, President-Elect Obama officially announced the worst kept secret in Washington today when he nominated Hillary Clinton to be the nations next Secretary of State. 

Meanwhile, over in Ottawa, instead of doing things like... ohhhh, running a country, basically everybody is completely engrossed in nothing more than a glorified popularity contest. 

Do I think Stephen Harper is a moron? Sure. Do I think there will be a marked difference in policy if the Liberals are in power, or the NDP, or as it would seem is soon to happen, a Liberal Democrat leftist amalgam? Frankly, no. 

Nobody DOES anything in Ottawa. All they do is bicker over who gets to sit in the nicer chair, and meanwhile Canada continues to lack vision and leadership, particularly in trying times.

I don't care who the prime minister is so long as we see results. 

Given our current leadership options (and I use that term extremely loosely), I am skeptical. 

At best. 

Nobody outside of the 613 (or off the hill, for that matter) cares about Ottawa. That should be what they're talking about instead of who gets to rule an indifferent kingdom.

Couplesyncrisies, part 1

Why is it that once someone is in a serious relationship, or engaged, or married, all trace of unique individual presence online is sacrificed for the sake of a combined couple-presence for all communique? 

Emails? Lets just share one. Or perhaps one person will send or receive from the other half's address, but speak for both individuals. Evite? Plus one please, "me and [blank] will be there". 

I've never gotten to this stage, so I must say I am curious; is there some sort of conscious decision to just stop checking your own email at some point? 

I understand this occurrence in the situation where it's some sort of email planning chain, in which case you probably had to confirm if your significant other was coming before you replied, in which case yes it is probably more convenient to reply for them at that point. But that's only if you are replying from your own account. 

Often people reply from their significant other's account. This confuses me. If my girlfriend was sending emails from my account, I would probably punch her in the ovaries. Even if my girlfriend was just reading my emails I'd probably suspect she was turning into Kathy Bates from Misery (Ah, Kanye).

I find shared emails even odder. Why would anyone want to share an email? That's just disorganized. They're free. You probably had one of your own to begin with. Why on earth would you go through all the trouble of telling everyone you know to change their routine and switch to a new account where half the content is going to be irrelevant to you? Plus, you can't even use it professionally. What gives? 

And Evite? C'moonnnnnn, somebody bothered to include you both on a list. Just click the button, how hard is that?

What's next? Shared facebook profiles? I bet people would if they could. And that frightens me.

Bottled Goodness

I woke up this morning to a dog licking me in the face. 

Unbeknownst to me, the brother dropped off the four-legged baby for some dog sitting action. Walking  a dog is not nearly as amusing during minus degree weather as it is when it's sunny and warm outside. 

As much as I like dogs (I also like cats, though admittedly not as much) I've never understood how some people can love them like people. I guess I think it's just because we're all lonely, and we know that pets are the closest thing to unconditional companionship we have. They don't judge you, and you can talk all you want and get nothing but affection in return. 

Also, unlike actual kids, there are no consequences. If you have a misbehaving dog, nobody thinks you're a bad human being. Except judgmental fellow pet owners. But that type of person is probably a douche, so what do you care anyways. 

Did you hear about the gunfight at a Toys 'R' Us during Black Friday?

If only gang fights could be fought with Nerf weapons, the world would be a safer place. 

When did this blog jump the shark?

You know, reading posts from a few years ago (back when my blog titles were all song titles -- how original!), I realized that it was actually pretty entertaining. I mean, if I worked in an office all day, I can see how one might get excited to see what the old chap had thrown up there too.

Not to toot my own horn or anything. But y'know. There was some good, clever, insightful commentary back in those days. 

But now... well, I don't know how or when, but I just stopped posting regularly, and even when I do, it's usually vaguely philosophical or vaguely snarky. Vaguely being the operative word, while I would generally not use entertaining or insightful about any of it. 

This realization is saddening.

So with that in mind, the blog is making a comeback baby. Regular updates. Well thought out posts. Editing. The whole nine yards. Maybe even multiple posts a day. Oooohhhh....

Hell, we all know I have nothing else to do anyways, I mean it's nearly 8am and I frankly have no intention of sleeping still. I think I'll go for McDonald's breakfast, I haven't had that in a long time. 

My parents are also back from their three-month world romp. It's strange having noises in the house again that aren't emanating from me. I even pinched a load and took a shower last night without realizing I left the door wide open until I stepped out of the shower. Good thing it was like, 5am. 

You know why I can't sleep? I'm actually pretty hyper, but I started reading a book at around midnight and I read the whole damn thing through in one sitting. It's one of those contemporary novels with subtext and social commentary about our modern society and the average everyday lives we lead, and how we're all complicated lives, and yadda yadda. 

The thing I mostly got out of it -- which is true -- was how much lying we do in a day. Or at least like, pretending. I mean, it's super cliche but I can't even begin to describe how fake I am in at least 75% of my social interaction. Does this mean that three out of every four conversations you've had with me is a fraud? No, not necessarily. But that probably means we've had conversations where everything I say is dictated by the status quo rather than my own personality. 

But c'mon. Like you don't do it too. 

Poor guy hires little guy to pretend to be poor guy to help poor guy find job

TORONTO - For many people, just looking for a new job can often seem like a full-time job itself. 

Local unemployed man Simon Yau agreed, and decided that in order to maximize the efficiency of his continuing job search, it only made proper business sense to outsource the task to a special consultant. 

"It's been working out great," said Yau, who recently hired eight year old neighbour Josh Sanders on a contract position. Sanders was tasked with applying to jobs and making cold calls on behalf of the 26 year old Yau. 

"I'm a writer, not a salesperson, you know?" explained Yau, "Athletes get agents and lawyers because those aren't their strong suits -- so it just made sense to bring Josh aboard. He sold me a box of chocolate almonds for school earlier this year and you could just tell he was talented. I mean, he really sold those almonds. I bought two boxes." 

A recent statscan survey revealed that small businesses accounted for 74% of all new jobs in 2008, and experts agree that the best way to climb out of the current economic downturn is to loosen some wary purse strings.

Other well-intentioned unemployed people have shown interest in Yau's unorthodox approach, many of whom laud the cash-strapped writers creativity.

"Not only will it help him find a job, but he's also helping to create jobs in a sagging economy," said Eric Sanders, a professional carpenter and father of Josh. "I think more people should follow [Mr. Yau's] lead, Josh comes home every night exhausted but it's cheaper than paying for after school daycare."

"I originally was going to hire someone with a longer resume," conceded Yau, "but honestly, it's just hard to find good help these days. I mean, you trawl through all the applications you get from these websites and really, many of them are just garbage." 

Yau is currently still unemployed as of the time of this story, but has expressed a strong trust in his new hire's ability to get the job done.

"Josh will find me something," said the writer. "He just learned how to use comma's this week, so that'll help immensely I believe."

"I'm learning," agreed the young Sanders, before adding "but work like, sucks."

conversation fodder

You know, a lot of cliches get laughed at as small talk conversation fodder. Things like the weather, or the local sports teams. But you know what? Those topics work every time in breaking the ice and making conversations a little less informal.

I'm slowly developing a philosophy where all my life decisions will be mandated by social cliches and stereotypes. It's foolproof! 

1.20.2009

“Rosa [Parks] sat so Martin [Luther King] could walk. Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama ran so our children could fly,” Mr. Victor said, attributing the poetic phrase to a wise man." The Globe and Mail, November 5, 2008

There's a lot to be said about this night that most people implicitly understood. The gravitas of the moment was communicated even on Fox News, where commentator Juan Williams said, “I don’t care how you feel about him politically, you have to say, this is America at its grandest.”

As a proud Canadian, there is a ready list of reasons why I often find myself looking down on our neighbours to the South (not just geographically, har har). 

But on this night, America's Spirit cannot be doubted. It appears in glimpses, in times of trial and perhaps momentarily during the Olympics. But for the first time in my life, I recognized it  clearly during the most democratic of events; an election for the head of state. 

It is humbling not only to witness such a wonderful moment in history, but to consider contextually the fact that this U.S. election saw a record voter turnout in the same year Canada's participation levels dropped to an all time low. 

It has been an incredibly long time since the world has admired the United States of America. We sympathized with her on September 11, 2001. We supported her when Afghanistan was invaded. But true admiration, and viewing the USA as its many cliches demand; a beacon of hope; a land of dreams; land of liberty and democracy, this has in my life never been an option. 

It was tonight. And if anything, it should give our own country something long and deep to consider in terms of who we want to be, and what Canada must do to get there. The hard work we must under go, the complacency that must be ousted and the pride and desire to see Canada become a global leader instead of a follower. 

But these are conversations for tomorrow. Tonight belongs to you, America.

Congratulations, and welcome back.

I am a walking Frasier joke

You know, in retrospect, the most telling experience from this whole wild weekend past was nothing related to weddings, or hilariously sad and simultaneously amusing dancing (and I use that term incredibly loosely) in my basement. Nor, even the fact said house shenanigans involved 83% males. 

No, the experience in hindsight which gave me most reason for introspection was when me and Irene were running around squabbling over a box of Perrier (a match of wits in which I can proudly claim victory; though, rest assured, I will take only a pirates share. The rest will be waiting here for you.)

In my deepest thoughts, I realized that this was a microcosm of my being. Chasing around French Fizzy like a (well-dressed) crack addict.

Awesome. 

crate's of barrels

Walking through Yorkdale today, I noticed that the new Crate and Barrel store had finally opened to the joy of yuppies from Woodbridge to Whitby. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I think it's an interesting store, and even bought a couple things (I am now the proud owner of a pepper mill. Thank you.) but I don't understand why there seemed to be so much excitement about this place in anticipation to its opening. It's like Ikea, mixed with william sonoma. 

Is that all it takes to get people revved up these days? I mean that combination works on paper, except there is no actual originality in what's offered. In fact, I find it takes the worst posslbe traits of its influences. The furniture and products all look exactly like Ikea, but are priced like w&s. What's so great about that? 

Granted, the quality is obviously better, but it'd be nice if those of us choosing to embrace our inner consumer would have some more varied options. I realize the local mall isn't exactly the place to find treasures off the beaten path, but the homogeneity of crate and barrel is a little disconcerting considering how much people seem to love it. 

You know what hypothetical store I'd really like to see? A combination of H&M and Harry Rosen - a more eclectic and varied selection of affordable men's formal wear.

Somebody, take my idea and run with it.

Five thousand meters above sea level

In a pleasant surprise, my room here in Lhasa has a computer with internet access, unlimited usage and free of charge. I am also sharing my room with a mouse, one that roams untethered to the computer and was last seen somewhere between the television and the wall. A fair trade, I'd say.

The train ride here took more than twenty-four hours and stopped only twice. The train twisted through the North Eastern parts of Tibet, through the outskirts of the Himalayan range. The scenery was pretty awesome.

Snow capped mountains as jagged as the Rockies; the worlds highest lake; silt-covered riverbeds framing crystal clear glacier rivers; frozen tundra; rolling plains and foothills as lush as a windows desktop picture... all sandwiched by lots of naps. so, so many naps.

The thin air definitely is getting to some. The conductor lady who was servicing my car had to stand outside at a stop for about thirty-minutes, and when she got back in she was literally a shade of pale blue.

I seem to have suffered no ill-effects thusfar, but I haven't really spent more than ten to fifteen minutes at a time outside. I like to think my superior conditioning has more to do with my imperviousness to human weakness however.

As a bonus, I've managed to read three books so far this trip and am halfway through Naomi Klein's Shock Doctrine. Normally it takes me ages to read Klein's writing, just because I spend half my time re-reading passages to filter out her angry-rhetoric from the actual points of note. I must say that compared to No Logo, her newest book is much less openly antagonistic, it really is a more effective criticism of corporate capitalism. Her research is really impressive, it's much more meaty than simple activist sentiment and doesn't have the pervasive single-mindedness of No Logo.

I'm not done but I highly suggest it to anyone with even a mild interest in cutting to the heart of geo-political matters and what is happening in the world around us, behind the wall of media.

Going to check out The Potala Palace tomorrow morning, it's on a giant hill in the middle of the city, illuminated as the bus drove from the train station to my hotel. It's actually quite similar to how the Parthenon in Athens is visible on the hill from everywhere in the city, it should be an interesting excursion.

Internet one more night as I'll be in Lhasa at least another few days.

a prologue

1:24am. Seven hours forty five minutes remaining. 

This will not be the most exciting vacation I have ever been on. 

Some might dismiss this as a prophesy of the self-fulfilling variety, but I am rather assured that despite the practical and mildly interesting experiences that will come from this month out of country, it will not be four weeks of mindless fun. 

Rather, I see it as an opportunity to wax philosophical about a rather unexpected phase of life wrapping itself up and -- again --  being tossed into the professional wilderness; wondering where the winds will take me next. 

Lazing around with friends, I wondered if this was any way to live a life. 

We discussed the meritocracy of marriage in our social circles, and though I know nothing is wrong with being single, I do ponder the masochism of choosing to self-flagellate oneself through submersion in the world of the betrothed. 

I cannot say however strongly enough -- that is not an indictment. It is merely an honest query about the different paths we choose. 

But I digress. At the very least, I am anticipating a trip that gives my brain an opportunity to again expand. 

If I can do that at the very least, I am excited about my return. 

How was that on a pretentious scale? I'm completely out of practice, having written nothing but basketball news for the past eight months. I've forgotten how to shape the english language I feel, outside of paraphrasing a lede.

The formula of online publishing was truly more stifling than even I realized until I began putting words to screen freely again. 

Do androids dream of electric sheep?

What it's like to be an Olympic diver

Consider me a self-loathing pseudo member of the "media"

This whole issue with listeriosis and sandwich meats has me wondering how journalists are making decisions when it comes to reporting the news. I'd like to meet the editors at CBC....

Actually, I have met some of them. It still boggles my mind, they seem so normal when you shake their hands.

Even worse is when the news show clips of people who are all paranoid of propane tanks exploding everywhere.

By the same logic that people are arguing propane tanks shouldn't be in residential areas, one could also reasonably posit that gas stations shouldn't be in those same areas, or hell, airports for that matter -- look at Air Spain!

...but I am supremely dissapointed in Canada

There are countries I've never even heard of who have a medal in the Olympics.

I think the most disappointing thing about our team isn't the lack of hardware as much as its the lack of actual performance.

Outside of the swimmers, who have consistently set new personal and Canadian records, it's a very rare occurrence for a Canadian Olympian to have the performance of their life at an Olympic games.

That's all I'm really looking for. That these athletes try their best and truly leave it all on the field, as the cliche goes.

Instead, our signature is choking (see Felicien, Perdita, or our synchro mens diving team).

If we step up when it matters most and lose because of talent, that's completely understandable. I can be proud of that.

I'm not a big fan of underachievers and crumpling under pressure. Canadians are supposed to be about heart and grit, but it sure doesn't look it with every Olympic games that pass us by.

I love the Olympics

I am supremely envious of Steph and Gord and Van who get to catch some events and soak in the atmosphere of a Summer Olympic games.

The best part of the Olympics is by far the fact that you get to watch all these sports that otherwise wouldn't be interesting, but are during the Olympics because only the best-of-the-best in the world are present at these competitions.

According to my casual observations, here is a list of things the Chinese gymnastics team have mastered:

- Gymnastics

Here are things they seriously need to work on:

- Giving high-fives

Seriously.

It's like watching Phil Michelson try to dap his caddie. Just so, incredibly awkward.

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tax refunds are a welcome surprise

Right now, I'm wondering whether my life and that of everyone around me is going to get busier or not. 

I mean, I'm assuming my summer is more of a anomaly than an accurate portrayal of the rest of my working life. Or at least I hope to God it is. 

Some of the people around me are fairly settled in that they have long term jobs and long term relationships, so their current state should be fairly static until the families start up. 

The remaining two groups are individuals who either have not started working yet (and I wonder if work is more or less time consuming than school for these mainly professional students), and of course single people who are either recently hooked-up or will eventually be hooked-up, thus making their lives relatively busier depending on how each person's personality is. 

I mean, if it's safe to assume that everyone is either going to get busier or at the very least maintain and get busier simply by entering relationships, I frankly don't understand how people have any time to see each other at all. 

I guess this is where it helps to have your own places, and roommates, and such and such, instead of having essentially everybody in your social circle live with their parents. 

Right now I have maybe...MAYBE one free night a week. And sometimes a weekend morning. 

 

Really, the only reasons I see people now are to prepare for a wedding, or for some sort of sports team. 

On the bright side, I think my goal of moving out by the end of the year might be pretty darn on track. That should help I think. Thank goodness I bought a lot of books to read...

insert title here

I've been MIA for the past month or so due to work, but I figure after this summer I'm going to have a very solid foundation of working relationships and experience to build on, so it'll justify it. Plus I've already planned a vacation in September, so, work hard, play hard, right? 

It's the Canadian way.

Speaking of Canada, come check out the game this saturday everybody. 7pm tip-off for the senior team, single game tickets are now available for pretty darn cheap (under $15). 

I'd write more, but my brain hurts.

Today I become legendary

Or I become an official alumni of Humber College.

Seems like that happened a long time ago, but technically grad was yesterday night. I can't wait until September, when I'll be able to actually celebrate.

oracular spectacular

There's an article in the new Macleans that says participating in a religious group or community is a proven lifestyle choice that leads to longevity. 

That could be the most ironic thing I've heard all week -- outside of people making Facebook groups for people to join Facebook. Isn't that the equivalent of movie running a trailer for itself before it shows?

the cup

I haven't really watched an entire hockey game in at least a month. 

Tonight's was one hell of a game.

check out that 'stache

You know when you grow up with someone, and you're best friends with them for your entire life, but maybe you also realize that over the past three years or so you've begun to grow apart, but still see each other, so you kind of remain best friends almost as much out of comfort as you do for any other reason? 

That's Weezer. 

Favorite band? In all honesty, probably not since the Green album came out and supremely disappointed. 

Maybe we were expecting too much. Maybe it was time to consider that the Blue album and Pinkerton were as much products of a band in a particular time and place, and to ask someone to emulate a phase of their life would be asking for too much, and end up being too fake anyways. It was always Weezer's honesty that fans found endearing, and catching lightening in a bottle three times in a row was just not going to happen.

With that admission long ago conceded, I download the leaked eight tracks of the upcoming album, and I must say that although they don't blow me away, I personally feel it's the best they've done since Pinkerton. It feels like they know it too, and they decided to forgo a name almost to underscore the fact that...in spirit, this is essentially the third Weezer album everyone has been waiting for. 

The catch however, is that if you aren't already a Weezer fan, you probably won't find any of these songs particularly special. And even if you used to be, it's entirely possible you've just outgrown the sound by now. Realistically, if you weren't still waiting for this, you probably won't care. This album was, quite apparently, made with fans in mind, and it seems like the band now has the hindsight to enjoy and appreciate the Weezer experience that we had all along.

If you are indeed a huge lover of all things Weez, you're going to be hard pressed to not hit repeat on Heart Songs about a gajillion times. 

Along with most of this album, it almost seems like the band is parodying itself. But Heart Songs lets you into where Rivers is right now, and stirs up feelings about the band's idiosyncratic nerd-rock that you thought died when they recorded "Crab".

Heart Songs is an homage to Weezer by Weezer, and although it's not necessarily going to bring the band back into the type of relationship they had with fans in years past, it's certainly a spectacular reminder of why Weezer once occupied that place in the first place.

pondering

everyone says sports is a great metaphor for life, but couldn't life just be a great metaphor for sports?

On that note, I'm just going to take it one game at a time, focus on the team and try my best to play hard out there.

I'm trying to decide whether a television show based on my life would garner decent ratings.

Personally, I like to think it would, if only for the fact that shows about single guys with quirky jobs who meet strange and often famous people seem to make for comedic situations. Notice that I assumed a show about me would be a comedy. This is because there is no drama in my life outside of running out of black socks to wear to the office.

I have humorous and distinctly different single male buddies, myriad couples to play off, I live in my parents basement and like to undergo hairbrained entrepreneurial schemes and freelancing opportunities.

The only thing missing is a rotating door of love interests, although if you take my dating track record that is a comedy unto itself entirely.

Yes, I think the me show would be quite the prime-time sitcom. I'm also confidant I could write a pretty killer theme song, although perhaps not as killer as Alan Thicke wrote for Growing Pains.

I'm good, but I mean, modesty is the better part of valour.

Upgrades

Yesterday:

Today:

Ryan Reynolds, you did OK for yourself there kid.

The ladder disparity calculations are blowing my mind.

everyone loves a slinky

there's a lot to be cynical about on "extreme home makeover". 

yes, the signs are probably made by the show and handed out to a crowd that most likely is only there because they got free t-shirts and school credits to volunteer for building a house in a week. the corporate sponsors probably decide who gets picked for each episode and afterwards the sustainability of living in a giant mansion full of millions of dollars worth of material wealth ends up gentrifying a neighborhood and perhaps even the family itself in the eyes of the community who (purportedly) supported this television show in the first place.

yes, all of the above is highly probable. 

but the parts where they move the bus and people actually break down into tears? that -- in my mind at least -- is possibly the only real emotional display remaining on prime time television outside of professional sports. everything else might be contrived (to put it mildly), but that one moment? it's real. it's interesting to watch. 

in unrelated news, now that steph has a real estate license, she has officially assumed a role in my personal superhero team that i like to call "the league of useful friends."

so far that league includes three doctors (overlap is inefficient!), an accountant, a chocolate dealer and victor, who really i have no idea what he does but he can get a decent rate on currency exchange, so that's good enough for me.

as for the rest of you -- all engineers, i might add -- stop being so selfish! I suggest you make like steph and find a secondary occupation that benefits your friends more. 

what good is an engineer if they aren't married to you for the purpose of employee benefits?

honestly.

75 word per minute.

Addictive AND a life-skill builder.

This is what the internet is all about. A shame I can't type properly.

Goodbyes

Well gosh darn it. 

When I got the invitation to my undergraduate convocation, I put the registration envelope in the garbage. I wasn't going to be there -- a trip to Asia awaited -- and frankly, I wasn't big on the pomp and circumstance associated with the ceremony anyways. It came and went with nary a thought. 

Recently, I got the invitation to my post-graduate convocation, and again, I put the envelope in a drawer, giving myself some leeway but pretty much planning not to go. Again, I never did see the point. 

But you know, it really takes seeing people to realize that you'll actually miss them. The hardest part is there is no naivete in us anymore because we're at the age that life has already impressed itself on us. For the vast majority of my classmates, we may never see each other again, and we know it.

It's a strange feeling, saying goodbye to someone for ostensibly the last time. I've grown so comfortable with the people I know at this stage of my life that saying farewell isn't a common occurrence. Doing it about 15 times in one night...well, that's something else. 

To the nights I don't remember, but the people I always will. 

Evolution

For some reason, I watched an entire episode of House tonight. He kept talking about how people don't change (only to believe in people's abilities to change at the very end). 

My thoughts while watching were two-fold. 

1) In terms of plot, House is pretty much medical power rangers. Every week the same formula happens. I kept waiting for Rita to make the monster in the patients body big. 

2) The chick from the OC is much, much hotter than sweater-vest girl. And for some reason she apparently plays a bisexual -- again. I've heard of typecasting, but this might be a little bit too pigeonholed even for television actors...

3) To be honest, I'm not entirely convinced people can change. I think we can learn to change how we react to who we are, but not necessarily who we are. By this, I mean you might always want a certain thing, but instead of giving in, just learn to discipline yourself to act differently on those same impulses (which always remain the same). 

I can see how that could still be defined/interpreted as change. 

But I could also see how it could not be. 

On another note, I've been playing basketball at the YMCA lately and there's this one old guy who's there every single night. I can't figure out what he does -- he's old enough to be retired. But man. Whatever reason he's there all the time, it's either incredibly admirable, or incredibly depressing. 

Funny how there's no gray area with that one eh?

Mutant powers

When I got my wisdom teeth removed in high school, I chalked my utter lack of recovery time as a fortunate matter of happenstance.

In retrospect however, I concede there has been a history of either playing sports through injuries, or simply healing quickly in my daily scratches and nicks. But I never thought it was unusual per se. 

Until this week, when I played basketball and was (again) pushed into a wall while in mid-air. I sprained my right ankle and bruised my left heel, but was able to tighten my shoe laces and just play the rest of the night relatively unencumbered. 

Upon untying my shoes at the end of the night, I realized that my ankles were in severe pain. I had trouble driving, and by the time I got home I couldn't put weight on my right ankle without sharp jabbing pain. It had noticeably swollen already, and I couldn't even sleep on that side of my body because it hurt to torque it with even the weight of just my foot.

Anyways, I woke up this morning still swollen and limping. I was in pain, but much better than the night before although still unable to apply too much weight to my right ankle. 

I went to work, and had a relatively normal work day. Some time around 2pm, I realized that although I definitely felt a little sore, I seemed to suddenly be completely pain free. I did some quick movement, and lo and behold my ankle seems to be completely healed, and the bruise on my other foot is a bit tender, but nothing to really write home about.

In short, I have exhibited freakish mutant Wolverine powers over the course of a single day.

Naturally, I will only use my abilities for good, not evil, and embrace the responsibility that comes with great power.

Good day.

Foul I say!

Upon flipping through the television universe, I stumbled upon Dancing with the stars (in HD) last night and stopped to see what the big hoopla was about. 

I noticed that the celebrity dancer was Kristi Yamaguchi.

Now, I won't claim to be an expert on dancing nor figure skating. However, does it not seem just a weeeee bit unfair to be pitting an Olympic calibre figure skater whose sport involves complicated footwork (some might even call it... dancing?) and athletic prowess while wearing a sequined outfit, all while choreographed to music... against the likes of say, an NFL player, or hollywood actress? 

Isn't that kind of like having a celebrity mandolin contest, except a world famous ukulele player is allowed to participate? 

If I was Shannon Elizabeth, I'd be pissed off. 

Also, I would feel like Dancing with the Stars was rigged.

kill me now

Things I did today:

Wake up. 

Make coffee.

Drink coffee.

Drop off softball gear for people.

Eat lunch.

Make coffee.

Drink coffee. 

Eat dinner.

Shower.

I even staged a Facebook photo tonight. If that isn't the mendoza line for boredom, I don't know what is. 

Strings & Things

The funny thing about stereotypes is that sometimes they can be accurate.

With the recent changes to CBC Radio 2 and the disbanding of the CRO, classical music fans have come crawling out of the woodwork (and woodwinds) to protest what the have decried as the sullying of the CBC's mandate to the arts.

Exhibit A for why many folks think these whiners are snobs, taken from the letters section of the Globe & Mail:

I am almost too depressed about the planned "overhaul" of CBC's Radio 2 to even write about it. What's the point? We've all seen the writing on the wall for some time now, and resistance is futile: The CBC no longer feels there is any point to devoting an entire radio station to the more musically and intellectually complex style of music colloquially, though entirely inappropriately, known as "classical" (more on that tendentious terminology in a moment), because, according to its mysterious studies, no one is interested in that any more.

I'm pretty sure if I was having a real conversation with somebody and they uttered the above paragraph, I would be left with no option but to punch them in the face.

Please. Come off your pedestal and join us philistines and our good friend Leslie Feist.

Sometimes it's fun to slum it a little, y'know?

lightening the load

The concept of joining clubs and classes completely makes sense to me now that my schedule has devolved into what more or less is representative of regular office hours. I don't know what to do with my free time outside of going to the gym and watching sports on television. 

The fact that I am resolutely content with such an existence is a story for another day.

Upon getting a haircut today, It crossed my mind what a difference it makes when someone obviously cares about doing a good job. I tipped the guy well (the actual price of the haircut was only $10, so I mean, they deserve some kudos) but it was because it was evident throughout the haircut that he really wanted to do a good job. He was meticulous, and although personally I can't tell the difference between a diligently cut head of hair and one victimized by a suck-and-cut stylistically speaking, what I definitely could discern what the effort.

I applaud effort. It's an under-appreciated trait in our hustle and bustle society for someone to take a little extra time to make sure things are held to a higher standard of quality. 

The world would be a better place if we all approached our jobs with that kind of attitude. 

Next week's life lesson: saying thank you when somebody opens a mall door for you.

gin and juice

Even if for only one day (it's not supposed to last through the weekend), the weather was nice enough that I drove the entire way home with my sunroof open. 

Human beings are solar powered. This has to be some sort of scientific fact.

"Things we will forget by next week about Communist China..."

For a country full of Buddhist monks, Tibet has sure pissed a whole lot of people off lately.

Faster than you can say “Kosovo,” the Tibet issue has jumped to the forefront of almost every major media outlet in Toronto. It’s enough drama and back talking to make one realize the only difference between international politics and The Hills is the sobering prominence of ugly people -- although Chinese president Hu Jintao does sport some retro-chic aviator specs.

To say that coverage of the situation recently has been sensational would be like saying James Blunt is in touch with his feelings. The latest Macleans magazine features the headline “Butchers and Monsters” splashed across a photograph of a man in camouflage chasing after a Buddhist monk with a stick. Elmer Fudd would be proud.

The Globe and Mail featured a cover story over the past weekend about three Canadian women who for the last 8 years have been working to use this summer’s upcoming Olympic games as an international stage for the Tibet liberation movement. They were portrayed as heroic figures.

The Associated Press reported that China had been planting military instigators in Tibetan monasteries to pose as monks, acting as both agent provocateurs and plaintive decoys for government organized diplomatic tours of the volatile area.

It’s suddenly hip to hate on China.

As a journalist of Chinese decent, this all cumulated locally and personally when a friend of mine emailed over the weekend with video footage of the Pro-China rally taking place at Dundas square. “It’s about time,” he said, “China’s been getting such a bad rap in the media lately.” I can’t say this made much sense to me, but the words still struck an internal chord that had been nagging me for several days.

I heard the same exasperated tones from my father, who over the dinner table often wonders aloud why everyone makes the Chinese government out to be the most evil entity since the consortium that decided hotdogs would come in packs of 10 but buns in bags of eight.

The Macleans article in question calls for us to be witnesses who “make a difference” in the lives of the Chinese people. But I wonder; instead of worrying about problems nestled at the foot of the Himalayas, shouldn’t we be witnesses who make a difference in our own lives first?

How soon we forget that at the last G8 summit in Quebec, local police planted officers posing as fake protesters into the crowds? Or that when it comes to human rights violations and mindless environmental destruction, China’s track record may be horrendous, but still trails that of our friendly neighbours to the South?

The actions of the Chinese government are indefensible, to this I readily acquiesce. And to say China is getting a bad rap is like saying Rob Shneider doesn't deserve to be typecast.

But if the media is going to demand accountability, we as readers should be willing to at least do the same.

We deride our own actions, but ultimately tolerate the status quo. When it comes to change, party platforms rarely come to fruition in our quagmire of a political system.

Macleans is the same magazine that superimposed George Bush’s head onto Saddam Hussein’s body – but there aren’t too many student activists who suggest we boycott the NBA finals.

Maybe they should have shown Bush chasing an Iraqi with a stick.