went down to the taste of the danforth tonight. observed some amusing behaviour.
i find parents believe that if they're carrying a child, the world should stop in order to cater to their needs. i guess the stress of taking care of kids will do that to you.
one lady pushing a stroller whined constantly that people kept walking in front of her, so she couldn't forge ahead. imagine THAT. a crowd. where people walk. in front of you. hm....
there was this OTHER lady who was carrying a baby, and just using it to push people out of her way. it was pretty funny.....a little human battering ram.
i think it's scary that you can care about someone so much that situations that would normally not phase you - when those you care about are placed in them - you want to have the ability to transcend time and space just so you can go back and kick someones ass.
i mean...you'd think that with the ability to go anywhere at any time, you'd do something productive.
but nope.
when i think about it, i'd want nothing more than to kick some guys ass.
but then i guess meeting Jesus would be pretty cool. but i have a feeling he'd frown on my wanting to inflict a savage beating. ah, the decisions....
Aug 10, 2003
Aug 8, 2003
[pic: ryan and dora at second cup]
*per usual, highlight blog title and date to get rid of the grey blog box*
added gabe and dora's picture sites to the links section. go check them out. everyone loves pictures.
exam this saturday.....freedom so close.....i can taste it....
c's birthday on sunday.....bbq so close.....i can taste it....
*per usual, highlight blog title and date to get rid of the grey blog box*
added gabe and dora's picture sites to the links section. go check them out. everyone loves pictures.
exam this saturday.....freedom so close.....i can taste it....
c's birthday on sunday.....bbq so close.....i can taste it....
Aug 7, 2003
the streaming audio for the new dashboard album is up in full at mtv.com
it's pretty much what i expected....standouts include instantly familiar "rapid hope loss" with its classic dashboard, crafted-for-sing song bridge.
dashboard tries to get away from the monotony that surely comes with being the idols of depressed and heart broken teenagers everywhere, but ultimately the best work shines through when he's doing what he's best at - wearing his heart on his sleeve.
with lyrics like
"And try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
So wont you hold me now?"
from 'bend and not break', and
"Just bend the pieces til they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this
No, they weren't meant for this"
from 'ghost of a good thing', it's apparent that the band is most comfortable when crying themselves to sleep at night.
attempts at more upbeat songs include 'hands down' (redone from the so impossible EP) as essentially the live version they play at concerts, and 'as lovers go' which is catchy but as is the problem with most of dashboards happy songs (the original hands down excluded) lack the inspiration or emotion that are the bands trademark. furthermore, while the front 5 tracks of the album are excellent and unique, the middle and tail end of the album seems to lack any sort of direction and starts to all sound the same. after a while, you realize the whining is only cool when the music behind it is good. without better song writing, the lyrics are just kind of pathetic.
i present this final lyric from 'carry this picture' as evidence:
"I'll give you this picture and keep it and dont be scared,
And color the coast with your smile.
Its the most genuine thing I've ever seen.
I was so lost and now I believe.
I believe in the coast."
......suffice to say.....i'm not impressed. keep on crying buddy. for all our sakes....and don't take this personally... but i hope women keep crushing your heart so your next album will be even better.
it's pretty much what i expected....standouts include instantly familiar "rapid hope loss" with its classic dashboard, crafted-for-sing song bridge.
dashboard tries to get away from the monotony that surely comes with being the idols of depressed and heart broken teenagers everywhere, but ultimately the best work shines through when he's doing what he's best at - wearing his heart on his sleeve.
with lyrics like
"And try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
So wont you hold me now?"
from 'bend and not break', and
"Just bend the pieces til they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this
No, they weren't meant for this"
from 'ghost of a good thing', it's apparent that the band is most comfortable when crying themselves to sleep at night.
attempts at more upbeat songs include 'hands down' (redone from the so impossible EP) as essentially the live version they play at concerts, and 'as lovers go' which is catchy but as is the problem with most of dashboards happy songs (the original hands down excluded) lack the inspiration or emotion that are the bands trademark. furthermore, while the front 5 tracks of the album are excellent and unique, the middle and tail end of the album seems to lack any sort of direction and starts to all sound the same. after a while, you realize the whining is only cool when the music behind it is good. without better song writing, the lyrics are just kind of pathetic.
i present this final lyric from 'carry this picture' as evidence:
"I'll give you this picture and keep it and dont be scared,
And color the coast with your smile.
Its the most genuine thing I've ever seen.
I was so lost and now I believe.
I believe in the coast."
......suffice to say.....i'm not impressed. keep on crying buddy. for all our sakes....and don't take this personally... but i hope women keep crushing your heart so your next album will be even better.
Aug 5, 2003
today i found myself wishing i was more into photography.
i think it's really easy to take interesting photos if you just take the time to inspect your surroundings and make a note of what captures your attention. you can be in the same house, walk down the same street, sit in the same chair everyday of your life but it's how that routine responds to changes, and how you view the routine itself that determines the little cool things that make a good photo. maybe one day a rock is just a rock. but at the right time, with the right light, and the right background, it could be a great photo.
i suppose that's the definition of thinking optimistically when you consider it. seeing in everything the potential for greatness as opposed to seeing in everything the potential for failure.
i love how our human interactions and relationships sort of works the same way. I've never understoof people who say after a while someone's mannerisms and quirks get annoying and old. shouldn't it be exactly the other way around? that after spending time with your friends or significant other long enough, their little idiosyncrasies are exactly the things that make you so close to them and care about them?
i'm pretty sure i've said this a billion times, but it's always encouraging when you actually recognize the beauty evident in the people around us and the relationships we have.
maybe that's why there's few photographs more beautiful in my mind than the ones that capture the everyday essence of life. because everyone says a rainbow or a baby are beautiful. Those are almost 'generic' beauty if such a thing existed. but when you look at a photo of something we normally ignore in our daily rush through life and understand why the person who took it thought it was worth taking a photo of....well. now thats a photo.
i think it's really easy to take interesting photos if you just take the time to inspect your surroundings and make a note of what captures your attention. you can be in the same house, walk down the same street, sit in the same chair everyday of your life but it's how that routine responds to changes, and how you view the routine itself that determines the little cool things that make a good photo. maybe one day a rock is just a rock. but at the right time, with the right light, and the right background, it could be a great photo.
i suppose that's the definition of thinking optimistically when you consider it. seeing in everything the potential for greatness as opposed to seeing in everything the potential for failure.
i love how our human interactions and relationships sort of works the same way. I've never understoof people who say after a while someone's mannerisms and quirks get annoying and old. shouldn't it be exactly the other way around? that after spending time with your friends or significant other long enough, their little idiosyncrasies are exactly the things that make you so close to them and care about them?
i'm pretty sure i've said this a billion times, but it's always encouraging when you actually recognize the beauty evident in the people around us and the relationships we have.
maybe that's why there's few photographs more beautiful in my mind than the ones that capture the everyday essence of life. because everyone says a rainbow or a baby are beautiful. Those are almost 'generic' beauty if such a thing existed. but when you look at a photo of something we normally ignore in our daily rush through life and understand why the person who took it thought it was worth taking a photo of....well. now thats a photo.
Aug 1, 2003
i just ate 3/4 of a bag of nacho cheese bugles and now i feel really gross. let this be a lesson.....corn snacks are only good in moderation...
anyways, on to the daily rant. today's topic of criticism: chinese music.
why is it there's no good chinese music? it's all pop, or bad rap, or other prepackaged bubble-gummy garbage that has been done to death a billion times in a billion languages. much the way GOOD music transcends language, i believe CRAP music is universally understood to be crap no matter where you are.
so what's the deal chinks?
i mean, japan has a GREAT music scene. sure, they have the pop stuff, but they also have really talented bands and musicians. Artists like DJ Krush, P5, Nine Days Wonder, Melt Banana...i could go on. And japanese music snobs are just as elitist as their north american counterparts. They love the =W=eez, and they're constantly pushing the envelope of math/alt-rock and other experimental genres of music.
there seems to be an abundance of creative energy in japan (just look at all the video games they make).
why is it HK is so different? how is it that i've yet to ever hear of a single Chinese artist who knows how to bring the rock? or forget rock! i've never heard of any good indie chinese music, no punk, no hip-hop, NOTHING. i find it hard to believe in a city that crowded there isn't one good artist. it's mind blowing.
i mean.....mainland china, they have that whole communist thing working against creative freedom, but you'd think in HK someone would have stood up by now and said "yo man. this yes-card music sucks". you'd think there would be some sort of underground scene, and you'd think someone would have made themselves a bit of a name here.
but nope.
are chinese people destined to listen to bad music? what does that SAY about our culture? it's vexing indeed.
no offense to those who enjoy chinese pop.
i think jay chow is great.
FOR ME TO POOP ON.
hehheh.....and i'm turning 21 this year folks. why is it when you're young, older people always seem so old. but when you get to be their age, you feel so immature? enh...that's a rant for another day.
anyways, on to the daily rant. today's topic of criticism: chinese music.
why is it there's no good chinese music? it's all pop, or bad rap, or other prepackaged bubble-gummy garbage that has been done to death a billion times in a billion languages. much the way GOOD music transcends language, i believe CRAP music is universally understood to be crap no matter where you are.
so what's the deal chinks?
i mean, japan has a GREAT music scene. sure, they have the pop stuff, but they also have really talented bands and musicians. Artists like DJ Krush, P5, Nine Days Wonder, Melt Banana...i could go on. And japanese music snobs are just as elitist as their north american counterparts. They love the =W=eez, and they're constantly pushing the envelope of math/alt-rock and other experimental genres of music.
there seems to be an abundance of creative energy in japan (just look at all the video games they make).
why is it HK is so different? how is it that i've yet to ever hear of a single Chinese artist who knows how to bring the rock? or forget rock! i've never heard of any good indie chinese music, no punk, no hip-hop, NOTHING. i find it hard to believe in a city that crowded there isn't one good artist. it's mind blowing.
i mean.....mainland china, they have that whole communist thing working against creative freedom, but you'd think in HK someone would have stood up by now and said "yo man. this yes-card music sucks". you'd think there would be some sort of underground scene, and you'd think someone would have made themselves a bit of a name here.
but nope.
are chinese people destined to listen to bad music? what does that SAY about our culture? it's vexing indeed.
no offense to those who enjoy chinese pop.
i think jay chow is great.
FOR ME TO POOP ON.
hehheh.....and i'm turning 21 this year folks. why is it when you're young, older people always seem so old. but when you get to be their age, you feel so immature? enh...that's a rant for another day.
Jul 31, 2003
this is really really cool.
kinda makes you wanna run out and be nice to everyone you see huh?
in totally unrelated news.....the japanese restaurant across the street from my neighbourhood renovated and got new ownership.
it's really nice now. still small, bit much more modern. it feel warm and intimate as opposed to cramped.
oh, and the foods good.
kinda makes you wanna run out and be nice to everyone you see huh?
in totally unrelated news.....the japanese restaurant across the street from my neighbourhood renovated and got new ownership.
it's really nice now. still small, bit much more modern. it feel warm and intimate as opposed to cramped.
oh, and the foods good.
Jul 30, 2003
i was reading my yearbook grad comment....and i wrote something surprisingly wise that i didn't even recall writing.
"...i thank God, for having faith in me, even when i didn't have faith in Him"
how profound this is in hindsight. it's something i keep having to remind myself every day when i wake up, and every nigth before i go to sleep. it's something i can't even comprehend a majority of the time i realize it, yet i know to be heart wrenchingly true.
it's what i use to keep me in line when i can't seem to focus. the experience of God's grace and how real it is to me.
to take a page out of amy's blog.....i will spontaneously list things i'm thankful for....
- that God will never give up on me.
- the love from that knowledge that allows me to love others
- the people i love
- water bottles
- music
- chinese food
- opportunity
- freedom
and finally....
- that people are researching why yawning is contagious.
neat huh?
"...i thank God, for having faith in me, even when i didn't have faith in Him"
how profound this is in hindsight. it's something i keep having to remind myself every day when i wake up, and every nigth before i go to sleep. it's something i can't even comprehend a majority of the time i realize it, yet i know to be heart wrenchingly true.
it's what i use to keep me in line when i can't seem to focus. the experience of God's grace and how real it is to me.
to take a page out of amy's blog.....i will spontaneously list things i'm thankful for....
- that God will never give up on me.
- the love from that knowledge that allows me to love others
- the people i love
- water bottles
- music
- chinese food
- opportunity
- freedom
and finally....
- that people are researching why yawning is contagious.
neat huh?
Jul 29, 2003
the trailer for Bubba Ho-Tep is up. This is the new Bruce Campbell movie coming out soon from the creators of Army of Darkness. From the looks of the trailer, it appears it will meet the lofty expectations evil dead fans will have of it. i can't wait.
shop smart.
shop s-mart.
shop smart.
shop s-mart.
Jul 27, 2003
slight change of plans! i'm no longer having a garage sale!
let me explain....
instead of hauling everything out and going through all that trouble, i think when i move my family is just going to leave everything we don't want in the old house since we still have it for a few months.
afterwards than, it means everything still left in the house will be on sale. no fuss, no muss. just come over and pillage anything you see, cuz if it's here, it means we no longer want it. make sense? cool.
so now it really IS a liquidation sale.....or a contents sale, whatever, haha it'll be sometime after august 18th, don't know when yet. but i'll keep everyone posted.
also, i uploaded the pictures from Nappy's BBQ. dogs are pretty fun to photograph, i must concede...
let me explain....
instead of hauling everything out and going through all that trouble, i think when i move my family is just going to leave everything we don't want in the old house since we still have it for a few months.
afterwards than, it means everything still left in the house will be on sale. no fuss, no muss. just come over and pillage anything you see, cuz if it's here, it means we no longer want it. make sense? cool.
so now it really IS a liquidation sale.....or a contents sale, whatever, haha it'll be sometime after august 18th, don't know when yet. but i'll keep everyone posted.
also, i uploaded the pictures from Nappy's BBQ. dogs are pretty fun to photograph, i must concede...
Jul 25, 2003
time for a random update post.
volunteered today....bloorview has been pretty cool i have to say. It's basically babysitting, nothing different from playing with normal kids really. it does however really make you grateful for how lucky you are. i take the fact that i can kick a ball standing up for granted. and these are just kids! i can totally understand how some people would devote their lives to aiding the disabled. it's not necessarily something i'd consider personally, but i'd totally understand how some people could do it.
spent some time with parents.....played ball.....then went to east sides for some half-price appetizers. cheap food is great. much thanks to ry for treating us all. a grand round of bum cupping is in order indeed.
in other 'whats-going-on-in-my-life' news, i can't complain. i've been contemplating looking for a second, more "real" job, but i'm pretty happy with the way my summers been so far.
actually, i could go so far as to say this has been one of my favourite summers ever so far, with lots of trips and stuff still planned for august to look forward too. i'm actually so happy lately i feel guilty. i have no clue what i've ever done to deserve all that i have. I have to keep reminding myself to thank God, and really it's been a summer of endless praise. It's so much harder to stay focused in Him when everything's coasting along because you forget why you need him. there's that complacency thing again.....but i'm dealing with it better than before thankfully.
it's not often in my life i've felt like this, so i'm gonna milk it for all its worth. i guess God forgives me for playing rock/paper/scissors in church after all! woohoo!
Rev. Lee however......
in unrelated news, anyone who's ever played DDR, u can be amused by people who are really good.
well...i stumbled upon this clip of someone playing a similar type of musical game, and it's RIDICULOUS. i think even people who don't know what i'm talking about should watch this.
everyone....DOWNLOAD THIS CLIP.
volunteered today....bloorview has been pretty cool i have to say. It's basically babysitting, nothing different from playing with normal kids really. it does however really make you grateful for how lucky you are. i take the fact that i can kick a ball standing up for granted. and these are just kids! i can totally understand how some people would devote their lives to aiding the disabled. it's not necessarily something i'd consider personally, but i'd totally understand how some people could do it.
spent some time with parents.....played ball.....then went to east sides for some half-price appetizers. cheap food is great. much thanks to ry for treating us all. a grand round of bum cupping is in order indeed.
in other 'whats-going-on-in-my-life' news, i can't complain. i've been contemplating looking for a second, more "real" job, but i'm pretty happy with the way my summers been so far.
actually, i could go so far as to say this has been one of my favourite summers ever so far, with lots of trips and stuff still planned for august to look forward too. i'm actually so happy lately i feel guilty. i have no clue what i've ever done to deserve all that i have. I have to keep reminding myself to thank God, and really it's been a summer of endless praise. It's so much harder to stay focused in Him when everything's coasting along because you forget why you need him. there's that complacency thing again.....but i'm dealing with it better than before thankfully.
it's not often in my life i've felt like this, so i'm gonna milk it for all its worth. i guess God forgives me for playing rock/paper/scissors in church after all! woohoo!
Rev. Lee however......
in unrelated news, anyone who's ever played DDR, u can be amused by people who are really good.
well...i stumbled upon this clip of someone playing a similar type of musical game, and it's RIDICULOUS. i think even people who don't know what i'm talking about should watch this.
everyone....DOWNLOAD THIS CLIP.
Jul 24, 2003
i was hoping to leave my notice about my impending liquidation of personal belongings up as long as possible to maximize its exposure to the many (read: 3) people who frequent my site. but i'm really bored and people are starting to make fun of my flower background so i feel obligated to respond.
i took this picture! i thought it turned out pretty well. so here it is. i'm not a pansy, damn you all. moving on.
it seems like a lot of the people in my life are going through some low patches right now. ok, maybe not low patches, but at the very least a lot of people in my life seem to have had better days at the moment. Especially going through the blogs/sites of my friends, the negative and problematic certainly outweigh the positive.
is it depressing? well....no. not really. everyone goes through low points. it's no help if i get depressed. my job as a friend is to encourage, support and advise when possible.
i can't be sure....but you know what i think is the biggest problem with a lot of people though? myself included, because i think it's personally a problem: complacency.
we're far too comfortable in our lives. we're too used to our regular routine. too unwilling to step out of our comfort zone. to take risks, to challenge ourselves more than we were challenged the previous day.
i look at myself, and i look at those around me, and i see a pattern of apathy towards change. we all pine for change, but do nothing about it. we're too used to what we're comfortable doing, and we're not going out of our way to grow, to learn.
passion is the key to life. passion for God. passion for living life.
reasons for passion may differ. you may be spiritual, you may be practical, whatever. but passion in any of it forms must exist, or life becomes mundane to the point of being unbearable. you'll start to question existence.
the second you wonder what life is for, the moment you take it for granted, you must realize you're too comfortable i think. you've lost your passion, for whatever it may be.
it's important to find what you really care about, what you feel gives you strength, and to hold on to it. respect it, cherish it and be honest to it. otherwise, things tend to get real tough, real fast....
i took this picture! i thought it turned out pretty well. so here it is. i'm not a pansy, damn you all. moving on.
it seems like a lot of the people in my life are going through some low patches right now. ok, maybe not low patches, but at the very least a lot of people in my life seem to have had better days at the moment. Especially going through the blogs/sites of my friends, the negative and problematic certainly outweigh the positive.
is it depressing? well....no. not really. everyone goes through low points. it's no help if i get depressed. my job as a friend is to encourage, support and advise when possible.
i can't be sure....but you know what i think is the biggest problem with a lot of people though? myself included, because i think it's personally a problem: complacency.
we're far too comfortable in our lives. we're too used to our regular routine. too unwilling to step out of our comfort zone. to take risks, to challenge ourselves more than we were challenged the previous day.
i look at myself, and i look at those around me, and i see a pattern of apathy towards change. we all pine for change, but do nothing about it. we're too used to what we're comfortable doing, and we're not going out of our way to grow, to learn.
passion is the key to life. passion for God. passion for living life.
reasons for passion may differ. you may be spiritual, you may be practical, whatever. but passion in any of it forms must exist, or life becomes mundane to the point of being unbearable. you'll start to question existence.
the second you wonder what life is for, the moment you take it for granted, you must realize you're too comfortable i think. you've lost your passion, for whatever it may be.
it's important to find what you really care about, what you feel gives you strength, and to hold on to it. respect it, cherish it and be honest to it. otherwise, things tend to get real tough, real fast....
Jul 21, 2003
i'm having a garage/moving sale of me and my parents belongings.
pictures and prices (all negotiable of course) will be up soon. please pass the word along that on august 2nd, starting at 7:30am i'm going to be selling loooooots of cool stuff.
including amongst other things:
- video game systems and games (SNES+Game Doctor, Genesis, PS1)
- furniture (various tables, chairs, desks, lamps, etc.)
- clothing (BRAND NEW, never been worn, tags still attatched pants, shorts, shirts. brand names like abercrombie, quicksilver, roots, gap, etc.....my dad used to buy them to use as samples for his business, but now they're just sitting in a box)
- yard tools (lawnmower, weedwhacker, hedge trimmers, shovels, rakes, etc.)
- 15" Volkswagon/Audi MOMO aftermarket rims
and all the other sorts of crap that people sell at a garage sale, but the above mentioned items are (i believe) the "best" stuff i'm trying to get rid of. pass this along to your friends, and your friends friends, and all those people that i don't know but might be interested in super cheap goodies.
pictures and prices (all negotiable of course) will be up soon. please pass the word along that on august 2nd, starting at 7:30am i'm going to be selling loooooots of cool stuff.
including amongst other things:
- video game systems and games (SNES+Game Doctor, Genesis, PS1)
- furniture (various tables, chairs, desks, lamps, etc.)
- clothing (BRAND NEW, never been worn, tags still attatched pants, shorts, shirts. brand names like abercrombie, quicksilver, roots, gap, etc.....my dad used to buy them to use as samples for his business, but now they're just sitting in a box)
- yard tools (lawnmower, weedwhacker, hedge trimmers, shovels, rakes, etc.)
- 15" Volkswagon/Audi MOMO aftermarket rims
and all the other sorts of crap that people sell at a garage sale, but the above mentioned items are (i believe) the "best" stuff i'm trying to get rid of. pass this along to your friends, and your friends friends, and all those people that i don't know but might be interested in super cheap goodies.
Jul 19, 2003
hm...several things to rant about before i fall asleep. i warn you now, this will be long.
first off, has anyone seen the infomercial for the owl?
the infomercial really stresses how useful it is in restaurants with dim lighting so people can read the menu and stuff.
i love it because one of the customer testimonies (and for this infomerical, they're wonderfully low budget and fake) there's this one guy who's says:
"i love it, because now people don't make fun of me for not being able to see"
ahem.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
dude. if i saw you pull that stupid looking thing out of your pocket and start reading a menu word by word, i'd be laughing so hard i'd pull something. maybe it's just me, but i could have swore reading stuff was what reading glasses were for.....
moving on to progressively less immature topics, i'm really really mulling over this whole kobe thing. Everyone is pretty in shock. i mean....if he's convicted, that's 4 years in jail. that's no small matter.....especially considering he's debatably the league's biggest star. people say it's suspicious that he only confessed to adultry until after the DNA evidence came out. that him admiting to consensual sex with his wife at his side at the press conference is mere PR staging. this is probably true. to an extent.
then there's those that just don't believe it. who think this girl is making these accusations for kicks.
uh.....no. you SUE people for kicks. accusing them of rape isn't something to take lightly. if this girl's telling the truth, i feel HORRIBLE for her. kobe has some of the best people in the business working for him. the nature of sexual assault cases being what they are, this girl's character, reputation, her whole life up to this point is going to be torn apart by kobe's lawyers. they're going to do EVERYTHING in their power to discredit her. and i think that's awful.
i think it's silly to ask people "do you think he did it?".
what kind of question is that? what happened to innocent until proven guilty? if we judge people before they even go to trial, aren't we kind of screwing them over? that works conversely as well. no one can say he's innocent. clearly, SOMETHING happened. either way, i think this is a tragedy. an absolute tragedy.
not just for basketball.... but in general.
this guy is a role model for literally millions of kids. but he screwed up. he screwed up huge. it's evident how human he was when he was confessing to committing adultry.
imagine we were put through this sort of scrutiny every time we screwed up? that whole every-sin-is-equal thing really hits you hard when you think of it that way....
anyone, to end my rant, i must admit to being very frustrated when people aren't dependable. i think when you consider someone a friend, you consider them someone you depend on. someone you're willing to sacrifice for because you know they'd do the same for you in a heartbeat.
it really really irks me when i know that i'm being nice to someone who probably would not reciprocat my kindness. does this mean i'm only kind so others will be nice to me? i'll be honest. sort of. i mean, isn't it sort of natural to assume that if you're nice, other people will be nice to you? even if that's not the REASON you're nice, it's still an assumption you tend to make.
if you open a door for someone, you don't expect them to cuss you off for no reason do you? you expect them to walk through the door....
how can anyone take the people in their lives for granted? argh.
i think this is like, one of the few things that really really bugs me in life, and i'm not easily perturbed. oh well. i'll sleep it off i guess.
first off, has anyone seen the infomercial for the owl?
the infomercial really stresses how useful it is in restaurants with dim lighting so people can read the menu and stuff.
i love it because one of the customer testimonies (and for this infomerical, they're wonderfully low budget and fake) there's this one guy who's says:
"i love it, because now people don't make fun of me for not being able to see"
ahem.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
dude. if i saw you pull that stupid looking thing out of your pocket and start reading a menu word by word, i'd be laughing so hard i'd pull something. maybe it's just me, but i could have swore reading stuff was what reading glasses were for.....
moving on to progressively less immature topics, i'm really really mulling over this whole kobe thing. Everyone is pretty in shock. i mean....if he's convicted, that's 4 years in jail. that's no small matter.....especially considering he's debatably the league's biggest star. people say it's suspicious that he only confessed to adultry until after the DNA evidence came out. that him admiting to consensual sex with his wife at his side at the press conference is mere PR staging. this is probably true. to an extent.
then there's those that just don't believe it. who think this girl is making these accusations for kicks.
uh.....no. you SUE people for kicks. accusing them of rape isn't something to take lightly. if this girl's telling the truth, i feel HORRIBLE for her. kobe has some of the best people in the business working for him. the nature of sexual assault cases being what they are, this girl's character, reputation, her whole life up to this point is going to be torn apart by kobe's lawyers. they're going to do EVERYTHING in their power to discredit her. and i think that's awful.
i think it's silly to ask people "do you think he did it?".
what kind of question is that? what happened to innocent until proven guilty? if we judge people before they even go to trial, aren't we kind of screwing them over? that works conversely as well. no one can say he's innocent. clearly, SOMETHING happened. either way, i think this is a tragedy. an absolute tragedy.
not just for basketball.... but in general.
this guy is a role model for literally millions of kids. but he screwed up. he screwed up huge. it's evident how human he was when he was confessing to committing adultry.
imagine we were put through this sort of scrutiny every time we screwed up? that whole every-sin-is-equal thing really hits you hard when you think of it that way....
anyone, to end my rant, i must admit to being very frustrated when people aren't dependable. i think when you consider someone a friend, you consider them someone you depend on. someone you're willing to sacrifice for because you know they'd do the same for you in a heartbeat.
it really really irks me when i know that i'm being nice to someone who probably would not reciprocat my kindness. does this mean i'm only kind so others will be nice to me? i'll be honest. sort of. i mean, isn't it sort of natural to assume that if you're nice, other people will be nice to you? even if that's not the REASON you're nice, it's still an assumption you tend to make.
if you open a door for someone, you don't expect them to cuss you off for no reason do you? you expect them to walk through the door....
how can anyone take the people in their lives for granted? argh.
i think this is like, one of the few things that really really bugs me in life, and i'm not easily perturbed. oh well. i'll sleep it off i guess.
Jul 18, 2003
Jul 17, 2003
why do we cry when when we're sad, and laugh when we're happy?
biologically i mean.
it would be a strange world indeed if we cried when we were happy and laughed when we were sad.
wait a second, sometimes we DO cry when we're happy and we DO laugh when we're sad.
humans are odd.
fine, that's far to vexing to think about. lets move on.
I wonder if emotions can be measured and quantified? surely there's some sort of chemistry involved, or else prozac wouldn't exist.
it would be surreal if in the future we were able to literally alter our moods on a whim. i have to think that if people were never sad, we'd suffer as a society. culturally, i believe more art is borne of sorrow than any other emotion. sure, there's happy paintings, happy music, happy whatever.
but i've always held the opinion that sad is cooler.
when's the last time you saw a happy person acting aloof? and as we all know, all artistic genious' are aloof.....
i love that word. aloof. aloof. a-loo-f.
sounds like a dog noise.....
biologically i mean.
it would be a strange world indeed if we cried when we were happy and laughed when we were sad.
wait a second, sometimes we DO cry when we're happy and we DO laugh when we're sad.
humans are odd.
fine, that's far to vexing to think about. lets move on.
I wonder if emotions can be measured and quantified? surely there's some sort of chemistry involved, or else prozac wouldn't exist.
it would be surreal if in the future we were able to literally alter our moods on a whim. i have to think that if people were never sad, we'd suffer as a society. culturally, i believe more art is borne of sorrow than any other emotion. sure, there's happy paintings, happy music, happy whatever.
but i've always held the opinion that sad is cooler.
when's the last time you saw a happy person acting aloof? and as we all know, all artistic genious' are aloof.....
i love that word. aloof. aloof. a-loo-f.
sounds like a dog noise.....
Jul 15, 2003
watched battle royale tonight, and it was actually a little better than i expected. there was much more plot and character depth than i thought there would be, so it was a pretty pleasant surprise to find it was actually a quality film and not just pure shock value.
was a little confused by the typically vague japanese ending, but i figure it gives the audience a chance to interpret the movie on their own level, and read as deep into it as they want to.
on an unrelated note, i'm still not done my essay.
was a little confused by the typically vague japanese ending, but i figure it gives the audience a chance to interpret the movie on their own level, and read as deep into it as they want to.
on an unrelated note, i'm still not done my essay.
Jul 14, 2003
Jul 12, 2003
i need to start sleeping earlier.
i wonder whether or not doing devo's right before bed may or may not be the best time to do it. regardless, i can't get over how shockingly pertinent devo's can be every once in a while. I realize the Christian walk is one that every Christian can relate to, thus the seeming specific relevance i feel towards some of these exerpts. But i honestly sometimes feel as if the devo was chosen specifically for me, at any given time i read it, to apply to my life.
it's actually kind of creepy.
but reassuring, in that uncomfortable way that reassuring things can be.
i wonder whether or not doing devo's right before bed may or may not be the best time to do it. regardless, i can't get over how shockingly pertinent devo's can be every once in a while. I realize the Christian walk is one that every Christian can relate to, thus the seeming specific relevance i feel towards some of these exerpts. But i honestly sometimes feel as if the devo was chosen specifically for me, at any given time i read it, to apply to my life.
it's actually kind of creepy.
but reassuring, in that uncomfortable way that reassuring things can be.
Jul 11, 2003
i'm so encouraged right now.
i feel sometimes like i'm stuck in a cycle of sin. where knowing God only puts more pressure on me because i feel even worse when i sin. because i feel bad sinning conciously....then afterwards i'm almost ashamed to pray or meet with God or continue my relationship. i feel like a fraud. i feel like my love is insincere.
why am i sharing this? i'm not even sure. i read something from devo's that really spoke to me....
"[a] spiritually vigorous saint never believes that his circumstances simply happen at random, nor does he ever think of his life as being divided into the secular and the sacred. He sees every situation in which he finds himself as the means of obtaining a greater knowledge of Jesus Christ, and he has an attitude of unrestrained abandon and total surrender about him."
i normally keep a personal journal for my spiritual sharings....but i find it's collecting dust from lack of use. i figure....why hide things away? because i'm scared of offending people? i hope not. that's not my goal by writing this. i just feel that i'd benefit more from doing this since i come to my own page a few times a day and this way i can actually make these profound realizations useful to me. it's what my dusty journal is meant for, but in an infinitely more practical sense....
but i digress. back to - i sometimes feel like i'm trapped in a cycle.
but the devo....and the passage....philippians 3:7-10 just really hit me. i'm forgiven. it's just such a constant struggle with trust. with sin. with doubt. but i have to press onward because of God. i can't doubt if my love is insincere, or it will be the more i think it is. i'll analyze every action i do instead of simply living a life God wants me to live.
so suddenly, i'm thinking the song "here i am to worship" became very clear to me. i normally associate it with worship....as in....ok, we're at church/fellowship, it's now time to worship. thus - 'here i am to worship'. "prepare to worship" is the phrase that i associate it with. but i realize now....no. that's not right.
here i am to worship.
right now. everyday. with every breath i take. i'm here to worship. i mean....that's the ONLY reason i'm here at all. i keep seperating God from my normal life. And i doubt. i struggle. because i can't keep my eyes on him if i keep putting Him in my pocket. I can't believe how simple these little reminders are. we forget so quickly when we get too comfortable in our lives. with our own ideas.
Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness,
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You.
Chorus:
So here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
Verse 2:
King of all days oh so highly exalted,
Glorious in heaven above.
Humbly You came to the earth You created,
All for love's sake became poor.
Bridge:
And I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross.
the bridge is amazing, because it just puts things in perspective. sometimes i can't "feel" God. but i can never hope to attain total understanding...of our relationship. I just have to accept the fact that He loves me. The chorus however is the part that struck me. I want to sing it out every second i'm awake. As a life philosophy, it's what i want in my head 24/7. I can't even count how many times i've sung this song, and yet until now it's never really meant anything to me. wierd.
i feel sometimes like i'm stuck in a cycle of sin. where knowing God only puts more pressure on me because i feel even worse when i sin. because i feel bad sinning conciously....then afterwards i'm almost ashamed to pray or meet with God or continue my relationship. i feel like a fraud. i feel like my love is insincere.
why am i sharing this? i'm not even sure. i read something from devo's that really spoke to me....
"[a] spiritually vigorous saint never believes that his circumstances simply happen at random, nor does he ever think of his life as being divided into the secular and the sacred. He sees every situation in which he finds himself as the means of obtaining a greater knowledge of Jesus Christ, and he has an attitude of unrestrained abandon and total surrender about him."
i normally keep a personal journal for my spiritual sharings....but i find it's collecting dust from lack of use. i figure....why hide things away? because i'm scared of offending people? i hope not. that's not my goal by writing this. i just feel that i'd benefit more from doing this since i come to my own page a few times a day and this way i can actually make these profound realizations useful to me. it's what my dusty journal is meant for, but in an infinitely more practical sense....
but i digress. back to - i sometimes feel like i'm trapped in a cycle.
but the devo....and the passage....philippians 3:7-10 just really hit me. i'm forgiven. it's just such a constant struggle with trust. with sin. with doubt. but i have to press onward because of God. i can't doubt if my love is insincere, or it will be the more i think it is. i'll analyze every action i do instead of simply living a life God wants me to live.
so suddenly, i'm thinking the song "here i am to worship" became very clear to me. i normally associate it with worship....as in....ok, we're at church/fellowship, it's now time to worship. thus - 'here i am to worship'. "prepare to worship" is the phrase that i associate it with. but i realize now....no. that's not right.
here i am to worship.
right now. everyday. with every breath i take. i'm here to worship. i mean....that's the ONLY reason i'm here at all. i keep seperating God from my normal life. And i doubt. i struggle. because i can't keep my eyes on him if i keep putting Him in my pocket. I can't believe how simple these little reminders are. we forget so quickly when we get too comfortable in our lives. with our own ideas.
Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness,
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You.
Chorus:
So here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.
Verse 2:
King of all days oh so highly exalted,
Glorious in heaven above.
Humbly You came to the earth You created,
All for love's sake became poor.
Bridge:
And I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross.
the bridge is amazing, because it just puts things in perspective. sometimes i can't "feel" God. but i can never hope to attain total understanding...of our relationship. I just have to accept the fact that He loves me. The chorus however is the part that struck me. I want to sing it out every second i'm awake. As a life philosophy, it's what i want in my head 24/7. I can't even count how many times i've sung this song, and yet until now it's never really meant anything to me. wierd.
malone joins the lakers
riiiight. this is ridiculous. the lakers are starting to look like the team you put together in NBA 2k2 when you get bored and just start stacking your team for fun.
shaq. malone. kobe. payton. [insert 5th laker jersey here].
that starting line up scares me. provided they're healthy, and shaq gets back into shape, i don't see how they could possibly not be champions next season, unless their ego's cause them to implode as a team a la portland. considering malone took a 9 millionsish dollar paycut to play though, i'm thinking his ego's in check.
you could drape the fifth jersey around a basketball and roll it around the court as their 5th player and they'd still win 60 games man. this is just unfair.
well, i'm not afraid. we have lamond murray. so.....yea....
riiiight. this is ridiculous. the lakers are starting to look like the team you put together in NBA 2k2 when you get bored and just start stacking your team for fun.
shaq. malone. kobe. payton. [insert 5th laker jersey here].
that starting line up scares me. provided they're healthy, and shaq gets back into shape, i don't see how they could possibly not be champions next season, unless their ego's cause them to implode as a team a la portland. considering malone took a 9 millionsish dollar paycut to play though, i'm thinking his ego's in check.
you could drape the fifth jersey around a basketball and roll it around the court as their 5th player and they'd still win 60 games man. this is just unfair.
well, i'm not afraid. we have lamond murray. so.....yea....
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