we really know nothing. nothing at all.
even my faith which i hold fast to and keeps me grounded -- i do not claim to know it as truth. i believe it is true. there is such a poignant difference between the two.
and it's no coincidence. i could never fully believe in what i do if i were seeking to know it -- to know anything. all i have is faith. that's all any of us really have i think.
Sep 23, 2004
Sep 21, 2004
tadaa
enjoy.
i still can't sleep, so i made some minor aesthetic changes.
we'll see how long this webcam thing sticks -- it stops when i forget it's on and start changing...it's not one of those webcams feeds....
i still can't sleep, so i made some minor aesthetic changes.
we'll see how long this webcam thing sticks -- it stops when i forget it's on and start changing...it's not one of those webcams feeds....
Sep 15, 2004
transitional phrases -- to connect one idea to another
so much has been going on in my life lately, with me and with those around me.
part of me is too lazy to update, part of me is too overwhelmed with what i'd have to write to fully bring things up to speed.
so what i will say for now is this:
1) i think it's time for a change of flavour. look for a new page i'll throw up sometimes soon.
2) i can't remember my own imagestation account password
3) no hockey and no girlfriend make simon bored
over and out.
part of me is too lazy to update, part of me is too overwhelmed with what i'd have to write to fully bring things up to speed.
so what i will say for now is this:
1) i think it's time for a change of flavour. look for a new page i'll throw up sometimes soon.
2) i can't remember my own imagestation account password
3) no hockey and no girlfriend make simon bored
over and out.
Sep 2, 2004
rent is due at the first of each month
"I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold"
.......
"Oh, you're almost home.
I've been waiting for you to come in.
Dancing around in your old suits going crazy in your room again.
I think I'll go out an embarrass myself by getting drunk and falling down in the street.
You say I choose sadness
that it never once has chosen me.
Maybe you're right..."
.......
"It's early morning
No-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
I imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
And when it lands
Will my eyes be closed or open?"
......
"thirteen years old in the suburbs of denver
Standing in line for Thanksgiving dinner at the catholic chuch. the servers wore crosses
To shield from the sufferance plauging the others. styrofoam plates, cafateria tables charity reeks of cheap wine and pity
And i'm thinking of you. i do every year
When we count all our blessings
And wonder what we're doing here."
......
"This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time."
......
" I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away"
......
" Now and then it seems worse than it is,
but mostly the view is accurate. You see your breath in
the air while you climb up the stairs to that
coffin you call your apartment. And you sink in your
chair, brush the snow from your hair and drink
the cold away. You are not really sure what you
are doing this for but you need something to fill
up the days. A few more hours."
......
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold"
.......
"Oh, you're almost home.
I've been waiting for you to come in.
Dancing around in your old suits going crazy in your room again.
I think I'll go out an embarrass myself by getting drunk and falling down in the street.
You say I choose sadness
that it never once has chosen me.
Maybe you're right..."
.......
"It's early morning
No-one is awake
I'm back at my cliff
Still throwing things off
I listen to the sounds they make
On their way down
I follow with my eyes 'til they crash
I imagine what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
And when it lands
Will my eyes be closed or open?"
......
"thirteen years old in the suburbs of denver
Standing in line for Thanksgiving dinner at the catholic chuch. the servers wore crosses
To shield from the sufferance plauging the others. styrofoam plates, cafateria tables charity reeks of cheap wine and pity
And i'm thinking of you. i do every year
When we count all our blessings
And wonder what we're doing here."
......
"This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time."
......
" I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away"
......
" Now and then it seems worse than it is,
but mostly the view is accurate. You see your breath in
the air while you climb up the stairs to that
coffin you call your apartment. And you sink in your
chair, brush the snow from your hair and drink
the cold away. You are not really sure what you
are doing this for but you need something to fill
up the days. A few more hours."
......
Aug 24, 2004
canada's leading cuba in olympic baseball into the 6th....
on any note, i was wondering about the subjectivity of maturity.
yea, it's a slow day at work.
regardless, i wonder sometimes: what exactly is mature? what does it mean to be mature? act mature? look mature?
i mean this pertaining to people of course, not say -- a stock or a bond.
the definition would be...
sometimes, i think it's obvious when someone acts mature, or conversely, acts very immature. but sometimes, i think we don't even notice our own nuances. calling someone immature can be such a contrived and hypcritical judgment, yet at the same time it can simply be an observation that's clear as day.
i guess we're sorta treading back into that whole judging thing, but this is more just along the lines of what the heck it means to be mature?
do you consider yourself mature? if not, who do you consider mature? if you do consider yourself mature, by what basis are you drawing your opinion and conclusion?
personally, i think i'm starting to veer on the more grown up side of the line. when i was young, i had no idea what i should be doing, why, and how.
right now, i'm at the point where i know what i should be doing, but often i fail to live up to the standards i set or that have been set for me.
i think true maturity for me -- and others as well, in my opinion -- is when you know what you should/have to do, and you just do it.
that's my definition of maturity. regardless of it involving making a sacrifice, sucking up your pride, hurting your selfish desires -- if you know deep down it's what you should do, or whats best for you or those you care for -- then you do it. no whining, no questions, no procrastination.
i'm not there yet. but i'm truckin'
now back to watching the olympics.
sometimes, work can be no different from home, haha
yea, it's a slow day at work.
regardless, i wonder sometimes: what exactly is mature? what does it mean to be mature? act mature? look mature?
i mean this pertaining to people of course, not say -- a stock or a bond.
the definition would be...
- Having reached full natural growth or development: a mature cell.
- Having reached a desired or final condition; ripe: a mature cheese.
- Of, relating to, or characteristic of full development, either mental or physical: mature for her age.
- Suitable or intended for adults: mature subject matter.
- Composed of adults: a mature audience.
sometimes, i think it's obvious when someone acts mature, or conversely, acts very immature. but sometimes, i think we don't even notice our own nuances. calling someone immature can be such a contrived and hypcritical judgment, yet at the same time it can simply be an observation that's clear as day.
i guess we're sorta treading back into that whole judging thing, but this is more just along the lines of what the heck it means to be mature?
do you consider yourself mature? if not, who do you consider mature? if you do consider yourself mature, by what basis are you drawing your opinion and conclusion?
personally, i think i'm starting to veer on the more grown up side of the line. when i was young, i had no idea what i should be doing, why, and how.
right now, i'm at the point where i know what i should be doing, but often i fail to live up to the standards i set or that have been set for me.
i think true maturity for me -- and others as well, in my opinion -- is when you know what you should/have to do, and you just do it.
that's my definition of maturity. regardless of it involving making a sacrifice, sucking up your pride, hurting your selfish desires -- if you know deep down it's what you should do, or whats best for you or those you care for -- then you do it. no whining, no questions, no procrastination.
i'm not there yet. but i'm truckin'
now back to watching the olympics.
sometimes, work can be no different from home, haha
Aug 18, 2004
like sands through an hour glass.....
first things first:
1) episodes of call for help are being made available as they air via bittorrent.
2) search www.suprnova.org for "cfh" and you should find the first few epsiodes that have aired
3) watch and be amused.
moving on to the actual post....
you know, there was actually a period of time (about 5 summers ago) where i actually watched "days" pretty much every day. why? because on the show, some girl was possessed by the devil or something and i started watching out of of morbid curiosity.
then....for some reason, i couldn't stop.
well, i could, but whenever i had nothing better to do, i would settle down in front of the tv in the afternoons......
anyways, i guess sometimes i wonder if despite all the wailing about how life imitates art and the cultural connotations of this within our post-modern society, part of me still likes to think that soap operas are nothing more than a microcosm of the human psyche.
maybe not even the psyche, maybe just part of it -- the id maybe? or the superego? i don't remember this crap.
so often life seems like nothing but a charade. we have our drama, we have our characters in our lives who leave, who come through. who are important to certain story lines but only marginally so later on.
then there are characters which you would consider the stars, and the co-stars.
the star -- naturally -- is yourself. i mean, it's your own life for goodness sake. but....who are your co-stars? who are the characters in your life that make or break the success of the series? who define the show just as much as the star, creating an aura of energy, dynamic, and excitement?
so many people have moved away this summer. some of them back home, some of them for a temporary time, and some for a more indefinate sort of situation. i can't say i've ever experienced anything like this before. but rest assured my fellow co-stars -- you know who you are -- the series will continue to skyrocket in popularity, reaching new heights only because of the dilligence and value of your individual contributions to this pastiche i call....me.
you guys are all awesome.
of course finally and specifically, to my childhood friend, my st.tims buddy, and mad hook up for contacts and eye exams -- you're going to have an amazing year. write often, pray hard, play hard, and remember that you -- you! -- are fearfully and wonderfully made. praise the Lord, because you're a blessing, and immeasurably blessed. thanks for everything, and i hope you make memories that only exceed our own as you venture out on this new phase of your life.
but of course.....you'll bring stories of those memories back for us. eventually.
bye.
1) episodes of call for help are being made available as they air via bittorrent.
2) search www.suprnova.org for "cfh" and you should find the first few epsiodes that have aired
3) watch and be amused.
moving on to the actual post....
you know, there was actually a period of time (about 5 summers ago) where i actually watched "days" pretty much every day. why? because on the show, some girl was possessed by the devil or something and i started watching out of of morbid curiosity.
then....for some reason, i couldn't stop.
well, i could, but whenever i had nothing better to do, i would settle down in front of the tv in the afternoons......
anyways, i guess sometimes i wonder if despite all the wailing about how life imitates art and the cultural connotations of this within our post-modern society, part of me still likes to think that soap operas are nothing more than a microcosm of the human psyche.
maybe not even the psyche, maybe just part of it -- the id maybe? or the superego? i don't remember this crap.
so often life seems like nothing but a charade. we have our drama, we have our characters in our lives who leave, who come through. who are important to certain story lines but only marginally so later on.
then there are characters which you would consider the stars, and the co-stars.
the star -- naturally -- is yourself. i mean, it's your own life for goodness sake. but....who are your co-stars? who are the characters in your life that make or break the success of the series? who define the show just as much as the star, creating an aura of energy, dynamic, and excitement?
so many people have moved away this summer. some of them back home, some of them for a temporary time, and some for a more indefinate sort of situation. i can't say i've ever experienced anything like this before. but rest assured my fellow co-stars -- you know who you are -- the series will continue to skyrocket in popularity, reaching new heights only because of the dilligence and value of your individual contributions to this pastiche i call....me.
you guys are all awesome.
of course finally and specifically, to my childhood friend, my st.tims buddy, and mad hook up for contacts and eye exams -- you're going to have an amazing year. write often, pray hard, play hard, and remember that you -- you! -- are fearfully and wonderfully made. praise the Lord, because you're a blessing, and immeasurably blessed. thanks for everything, and i hope you make memories that only exceed our own as you venture out on this new phase of your life.
but of course.....you'll bring stories of those memories back for us. eventually.
bye.
Aug 16, 2004
why can't i sleep?
have you ever noticed that when you have lots to rant and ramble about, you never have the time to do it?
then when you finally have some free time, you don't feel like going off anymore?
so much to say....so much to say. people leaving, people moving on. friends, summer, phases, God, love, everything.....just, so much to say.
and yet.....i need to sleep. maybe i'll blog at work....
on an unrelated note: just a reminder, call for help premiers tomorrow night (tonight actually!) on G4techTV!
then when you finally have some free time, you don't feel like going off anymore?
so much to say....so much to say. people leaving, people moving on. friends, summer, phases, God, love, everything.....just, so much to say.
and yet.....i need to sleep. maybe i'll blog at work....
on an unrelated note: just a reminder, call for help premiers tomorrow night (tonight actually!) on G4techTV!
Aug 14, 2004
we won!! we actually won!!
2-7 baby.
and the best two wins i've ever had the opportunity to be part of.
thanks guys!!
one more game to go.....who wants ice cream??
and the best two wins i've ever had the opportunity to be part of.
thanks guys!!
one more game to go.....who wants ice cream??
Aug 12, 2004
water cooler talk
so i'm at work right now and i'm starting to see how people could go mad doing the same thing everyday. i mean heck -- i have a fun job and even this gets tedious every once in a while. i just sit here surfing the net. it sounds fun, but i'd much rather be spending my time elsewhere since i'm only really working like, every other hour. we're basically on-demand helpers, haha
just realising that some people work from 9-5 without fail, doing something much more stressfull, with less obvious results, no gratitude and absolutely no appreciation for their work.....i dunno. i think i'd go nuts. i don't know how anyone could ever sit in a cubicle day after day hammering away at their keyboard crunching numbers or writing pages of crap they could care less about.
why? why woud you damn yourself to doing something you hate?
i enjoy coming in -- especially cuz i get to come in at 11am -- but also because it's fun around here, and i get to learn new things and have cool job perks that i can take home.
but man. i've decided there's NO way i could do a job i didn't enjoy or care about. a job that's just going through motions. i'd much rather be doing something i want for free then getting paid a crapload of money to let my soul whither away and die.
just realising that some people work from 9-5 without fail, doing something much more stressfull, with less obvious results, no gratitude and absolutely no appreciation for their work.....i dunno. i think i'd go nuts. i don't know how anyone could ever sit in a cubicle day after day hammering away at their keyboard crunching numbers or writing pages of crap they could care less about.
why? why woud you damn yourself to doing something you hate?
i enjoy coming in -- especially cuz i get to come in at 11am -- but also because it's fun around here, and i get to learn new things and have cool job perks that i can take home.
but man. i've decided there's NO way i could do a job i didn't enjoy or care about. a job that's just going through motions. i'd much rather be doing something i want for free then getting paid a crapload of money to let my soul whither away and die.
Aug 11, 2004
i believe this is called a "teaser"
so work let me snag and install a copy of photoshop elements today. i'm SOOOOOO HAPPY. i've missed having photoshop so much, and it's really limited my creative juices and ability to jazz up the site.
so rest assured that now i have ps back, i will be updating the site. slowly but surely, prepare yourselves for.........
um. stuff.
so rest assured that now i have ps back, i will be updating the site. slowly but surely, prepare yourselves for.........
um. stuff.
Aug 10, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!!
um. that title is self-explanatory.
hope you have lots of fun today and eat lots of food and get lots of gifts and laugh lots of.....laughs, haha
hope you have lots of fun today and eat lots of food and get lots of gifts and laugh lots of.....laughs, haha
Aug 6, 2004
call for help 2.0 cameo appearance
so while shooting one of today's episodes, i happened to help solve one of the viewer questions at the laaast possible minute of the show that leo, andy, and the rest of us had been feverishly trying to figure out. it wasn't a difficult query, but simply one that had a convoluted and roundabout solution that was difficult to pinpoint. (thats windows for you huh?).
anyways, just saying that on top of getting to see me in the credits, for one episode at least, you'll get to see.....ME at the end during the closing segment. they're thanking and cheering me for finding the answer, and i'm....well....scared of cameras. so yea, that was fun, and kind of exciting. one more day of shooting, and my experience with television studios will be over. it's been a total learning experience.
anyways, now that the frivolousness is done, lets get on to today's (tonights) rant shall we?
lets travel for a second to....hypothetical land....where anything can and will happen.
say in hypoland, someone walks up to you and randomly says "you know, you're an excellent judge of character".
about five minutes later, a different random person walks up and then says to you "hey -- you have a tendency to make assumptions about people. you're judgmental".
nooooow.....my question is: why is one different from the other? why is judging character a skill, and being judgmental a weakness?
what's the difference really? judging character is based on observing somebody's behaviour, actions, words, mannerisms, past history -- then forming your personal conclusion about them. now...to me at least, that sounds absolutely no different from simply being judgmental. the only difference seems to be that when your assumed conclusion is positive (i.e. that billy sure is a good kid), you're judging character. when you reach a negative conclusion however (i.e. that billy is just a straight up punk), you're suddenly being judgmental.
so basically, it's good to judge someone as good, but bad to judge someone as bad.
MEANING, we can only have positive conclusions and opinions about people if we're going to be civil and polite people? apparently ettiquite and rational thinking don't go hand in hand.
is it wrong to judge? i mean....we all do it, lets not kid ourselves. but is it "bad"? is judging a book by its cover ever applied when you have a "good feeling" about someone? or do we only break out that cliched phrase when we're trying to not hurt someones feelings?
i personally think we have our critical and analytical instincts for a reason. to ignore them and choose naiveity instead of observation and reason makes no sense to me. hell -- forget observation, i think sometimes you just have to go with your gut no matter what people say or frown upon your thought process.
the bible says its bad to judge. i think it'd be stupid NOT to judge, because we can't avoid it, so we might as well not beat around the bush and simply be honest about it.
i dunno. is there a conflict of interest? am i looking at a splinter when there's a plank in my eye?
or am i simply confusing the biblical definition of "judging" with my personal idea of reality?
anyways, just saying that on top of getting to see me in the credits, for one episode at least, you'll get to see.....ME at the end during the closing segment. they're thanking and cheering me for finding the answer, and i'm....well....scared of cameras. so yea, that was fun, and kind of exciting. one more day of shooting, and my experience with television studios will be over. it's been a total learning experience.
anyways, now that the frivolousness is done, lets get on to today's (tonights) rant shall we?
lets travel for a second to....hypothetical land....where anything can and will happen.
say in hypoland, someone walks up to you and randomly says "you know, you're an excellent judge of character".
about five minutes later, a different random person walks up and then says to you "hey -- you have a tendency to make assumptions about people. you're judgmental".
nooooow.....my question is: why is one different from the other? why is judging character a skill, and being judgmental a weakness?
what's the difference really? judging character is based on observing somebody's behaviour, actions, words, mannerisms, past history -- then forming your personal conclusion about them. now...to me at least, that sounds absolutely no different from simply being judgmental. the only difference seems to be that when your assumed conclusion is positive (i.e. that billy sure is a good kid), you're judging character. when you reach a negative conclusion however (i.e. that billy is just a straight up punk), you're suddenly being judgmental.
so basically, it's good to judge someone as good, but bad to judge someone as bad.
MEANING, we can only have positive conclusions and opinions about people if we're going to be civil and polite people? apparently ettiquite and rational thinking don't go hand in hand.
is it wrong to judge? i mean....we all do it, lets not kid ourselves. but is it "bad"? is judging a book by its cover ever applied when you have a "good feeling" about someone? or do we only break out that cliched phrase when we're trying to not hurt someones feelings?
i personally think we have our critical and analytical instincts for a reason. to ignore them and choose naiveity instead of observation and reason makes no sense to me. hell -- forget observation, i think sometimes you just have to go with your gut no matter what people say or frown upon your thought process.
the bible says its bad to judge. i think it'd be stupid NOT to judge, because we can't avoid it, so we might as well not beat around the bush and simply be honest about it.
i dunno. is there a conflict of interest? am i looking at a splinter when there's a plank in my eye?
or am i simply confusing the biblical definition of "judging" with my personal idea of reality?
Aug 4, 2004
a thousand words
put up some long overdue pictures:
- Charity Ball (waaaaay late)
- Old Mill
- Dora's farewell party
if anyone actually GETS G4TechTV, let me know. i might ask you to record some episodes of the show for me when they air.
till then, shooting all this week. i wish i had more hours to sleep....
- Charity Ball (waaaaay late)
- Old Mill
- Dora's farewell party
if anyone actually GETS G4TechTV, let me know. i might ask you to record some episodes of the show for me when they air.
till then, shooting all this week. i wish i had more hours to sleep....
Jul 30, 2004
bittersweet
adj 1: tinged with sadness
bittersweet is one of my favourite phrases. there is a certain emotional, and even aesthetic beauty to the word. i personally find it to be the greatest artistic juxtaposition in the english language.
the definition describes it as tinged with sadness. just take a moment to think about that.
tinged with sadness
could there be anything more real -- more appropriate -- to put into words so much of our lives as we grow, learn, and love? for every action there is a reaction. for every decision there is a consequence. for every joy, there is pain.
bittersweet. let the word roll off your tongue, and rest on your heart. say it aloud, and let the weight of the phrase purse your lips and make heavy the air around you, like a dark and lonely memory that you will never ever forget, yet sometimes wish you could.
friendship and love are the bonds that knit our lives together. they define us, they tell our story. there is a certain comfort in having good friends, and having a loving group to support, encourage, and challenge you. learning to move on, learning to let go -- these are staples of our independent journey's, though they may be intertwined.
there is joy in seeing those you care for happy, and to know that they are in a good place. to be able to dwell in the melancholy moment and wax nostalgic, all the while looking towards the future. soak it all in while you can, because you can see things changing beneath your very feet.
it's scary. it's scary to think that all we hold dear right now could tomorrow dissapear. but it's exciting, and amazing to know that replacing it will be something greater. we often take for granted the constants in life -- forgetting that there are no constants except in Him.
as i often have said, joy and happiness are two different things. one can be unhappy -- yet be full of joy inside, with a hope and faith that is real.
refusing to admit someone is leaving replaces closure with apathy. i'd rather see off and someday reunite with my friends than fizzle and fade away from lack of effort and time.
so i will retract what i wrote to you previously, and indeed i will say goodbye after all -- not simply "see you later". take with you what you need, but don't hang on. you're building something new, and we won't be there for it -- as surreal as it is to concede. remember, but don't dwell. keep in touch, but make new friends. this is it -- this is life finally nudging its way in.
what word could there be but...bittersweet?
so be sure when you step
you step with great tact
and remember that life's
a great balancing act
and will you suceed?
yes! you will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
- Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You'll Go!
have a good one d.
and remember: jesus loves you
cheers.
Jul 28, 2004
save the best for last
just when i was about to give up on this summer, i find out that for the last month i have the opportunity to work at RBCI television, volunteering on a new show.
suddenly, i find myself a tech production assistant for g4tech tv on the soon to air show "call for help" -- featuring a returning leo laporte.
i can almost assure myself that none of you have heard of this show, or of leo, haha
regardless, it's been an awesome two days so far of learning all the ins and outs not only of being an I.T monkey (don't tell them i'm not qualified....shhhhhhh) as well as a P.A.
it's been cool enough brainstorming the show segments with the hosts, prepping the sets and computers, getting to know all the staff down at RBCI and networking like mad with everybody i see. and, to top it all off, shooting hasn't even started yet!
so....productive after all. who knew?
suddenly, i find myself a tech production assistant for g4tech tv on the soon to air show "call for help" -- featuring a returning leo laporte.
i can almost assure myself that none of you have heard of this show, or of leo, haha
regardless, it's been an awesome two days so far of learning all the ins and outs not only of being an I.T monkey (don't tell them i'm not qualified....shhhhhhh) as well as a P.A.
it's been cool enough brainstorming the show segments with the hosts, prepping the sets and computers, getting to know all the staff down at RBCI and networking like mad with everybody i see. and, to top it all off, shooting hasn't even started yet!
so....productive after all. who knew?
Jul 23, 2004
bored much?
going away for the weekend. so i leave you all with this:
castlevania
the internet at it's greatest potential, haha
castlevania
the internet at it's greatest potential, haha
Jul 21, 2004
c'est la vie...
Life must be understood backward. But it must be lived forward.
- Kierkegaard
when i think about these words of wisdom, i am struck by the fact that Kierkegaard was himself a Christian existentialist. a seemingly oxymoronic place to be, and yet he validated himself through God, with a faith that was built on a philosophy of life.
after all, he reasoned. what was life but a series of choices? and these choices rested cleary in our own hands. our faith was ultimately based on our own decisions in life, regardless of how much help we could get from above.
the pressure seems rather large. evangelical christianity today is often misleading, perhaps inclined to think that everything we do can be done only by God (or converesely, blamed on God).
so often, i think we forget about the part where God works with us -- and focus too much on the idea that God can only work in us. God as an external factor, as opposed to a living God, transforming us through our own decisions and guiding us on our paths, instead of merely shoving us down a waterslide.
life is full of regrets, missed opportunities, and life altering decisions. one fork in the road is enough to alter your entire course.
to live forward than -- to recognize all these regrets and mistakes and not dwell on them...to have the courage to make your next choice without fearing another mistake -- that's life. that's living forward.
what's more, living forward is simply another word for faith. believing your decisions -- discernment included -- are the right ones, even if they initially feel impossible. believing you can overcome even when you think you can't. believing God is real based on your past, even when it doesn't seem like it right now.
sometimes you just have to stop moping, and just grind it out.
sometimes you just gotta have a little bit of faith.
- Kierkegaard
when i think about these words of wisdom, i am struck by the fact that Kierkegaard was himself a Christian existentialist. a seemingly oxymoronic place to be, and yet he validated himself through God, with a faith that was built on a philosophy of life.
after all, he reasoned. what was life but a series of choices? and these choices rested cleary in our own hands. our faith was ultimately based on our own decisions in life, regardless of how much help we could get from above.
the pressure seems rather large. evangelical christianity today is often misleading, perhaps inclined to think that everything we do can be done only by God (or converesely, blamed on God).
so often, i think we forget about the part where God works with us -- and focus too much on the idea that God can only work in us. God as an external factor, as opposed to a living God, transforming us through our own decisions and guiding us on our paths, instead of merely shoving us down a waterslide.
life is full of regrets, missed opportunities, and life altering decisions. one fork in the road is enough to alter your entire course.
to live forward than -- to recognize all these regrets and mistakes and not dwell on them...to have the courage to make your next choice without fearing another mistake -- that's life. that's living forward.
what's more, living forward is simply another word for faith. believing your decisions -- discernment included -- are the right ones, even if they initially feel impossible. believing you can overcome even when you think you can't. believing God is real based on your past, even when it doesn't seem like it right now.
sometimes you just have to stop moping, and just grind it out.
sometimes you just gotta have a little bit of faith.
Jul 16, 2004
here comes the airport scene. do they make it?
i am not an artist.
well, i suppose that's not entirely true. in our post-modern world, everyone's an artist, and everyone's a critic.
what i mean is -- in the classical sense -- i'm not an artist. i don't take art. i don't study art. i can't fully appreciate all the subtle nuances of a painters strokes, or the careful shaping of marble under a master sculpters chisel.
granted, i know a bit. i've been around, i have my opinions. but when it comes to expertise and art i'm pretty much an everyday shmuck.
strangely though, deep down -- all us non artists -- we all seem to derive a great deal of vitality from art regardless of our ignorance. we're not artists. but we love to pretend we are.
we love to write songs, write poems, write stories. we take pictures, draw sketches, frame landscapes. we all like to create art.
it's been said that great art can only come through the process of suffering.
i can't say i'd disagree with that. but why?
why does art always seem to best come from our darkest moments? when we're dying instead of living? lost instead of found? what element of humanity do we so appreciate, so empathize with in others, that we consider "great". why are artists always better when they're dead? why are their lives always greatest when filled with tragedy?
why aren't there any happy go lucky, sunshine and lollipops artists who have gone down in history as equals to the solemn, brooding and reclusive enigmatics?
i think it's no one likes to relate to happy people. we're all too self-absorbed when we're happy ourselves to care about whether or not other people are happy.
when we feel like crap though, all we care about is making everyone else feel like crap too. we're aiming to take down those smiling bastards with our arrows of jaded cynicism.
so what is art?
art, i believe in the interpretation our society has thusfar historically practised, is nothing more than an excuse to make other people feel bad.
if you're happy, you're rubbing it in with art.
if you're crappy, you're dragging others down with art.
so i guess that leaves us with two options:
a. art is evil.
b. humans are masochists.
personally, i'm going to go with option b.
we all SAY we like to be happy. but deep...deep down.....i think we all sort of get a sense of pleasure from being down. it's easy, it's thoughtless, and it's less work than staying happy.
we apparently love being depressed. as a society, it's the cool thing to do.
how odd.
well, i suppose that's not entirely true. in our post-modern world, everyone's an artist, and everyone's a critic.
what i mean is -- in the classical sense -- i'm not an artist. i don't take art. i don't study art. i can't fully appreciate all the subtle nuances of a painters strokes, or the careful shaping of marble under a master sculpters chisel.
granted, i know a bit. i've been around, i have my opinions. but when it comes to expertise and art i'm pretty much an everyday shmuck.
strangely though, deep down -- all us non artists -- we all seem to derive a great deal of vitality from art regardless of our ignorance. we're not artists. but we love to pretend we are.
we love to write songs, write poems, write stories. we take pictures, draw sketches, frame landscapes. we all like to create art.
it's been said that great art can only come through the process of suffering.
i can't say i'd disagree with that. but why?
why does art always seem to best come from our darkest moments? when we're dying instead of living? lost instead of found? what element of humanity do we so appreciate, so empathize with in others, that we consider "great". why are artists always better when they're dead? why are their lives always greatest when filled with tragedy?
why aren't there any happy go lucky, sunshine and lollipops artists who have gone down in history as equals to the solemn, brooding and reclusive enigmatics?
i think it's no one likes to relate to happy people. we're all too self-absorbed when we're happy ourselves to care about whether or not other people are happy.
when we feel like crap though, all we care about is making everyone else feel like crap too. we're aiming to take down those smiling bastards with our arrows of jaded cynicism.
so what is art?
art, i believe in the interpretation our society has thusfar historically practised, is nothing more than an excuse to make other people feel bad.
if you're happy, you're rubbing it in with art.
if you're crappy, you're dragging others down with art.
so i guess that leaves us with two options:
a. art is evil.
b. humans are masochists.
personally, i'm going to go with option b.
we all SAY we like to be happy. but deep...deep down.....i think we all sort of get a sense of pleasure from being down. it's easy, it's thoughtless, and it's less work than staying happy.
we apparently love being depressed. as a society, it's the cool thing to do.
how odd.
Jul 12, 2004
more please.
saw before sunset tonight, the (anticipated?) sequel to before sunrise. i must say that, truly, this movie is just as good as the first. although it isn't quite as lovey-dovey, it still manages to capture the essence of their situation -- particularly in context as a sequel -- in a dramatic, realistic, and beautiful fashion. simply amazing piece of work.
one of the trailers shown before the film was for zach braff's upcoming film Garden State. most of us will recognize him as Dr. JD of scrubs fame. the film is his his first stab at both writing and directing, and it opens in limited release here in toronto i think at the end of july.
even more exciting than watching braff make us laugh for 2 hours straight, is that it also looks like a pretty darn good movie, with some interesting characters. on top of everything this film has a KILLLLLLLER soundtrack, which is going to be released i think by sony.
for those of you wondering, the song on the official site is called "let go" , by frou frou.
and to you-know-who.....thats one year and counting. thank you.
one of the trailers shown before the film was for zach braff's upcoming film Garden State. most of us will recognize him as Dr. JD of scrubs fame. the film is his his first stab at both writing and directing, and it opens in limited release here in toronto i think at the end of july.
even more exciting than watching braff make us laugh for 2 hours straight, is that it also looks like a pretty darn good movie, with some interesting characters. on top of everything this film has a KILLLLLLLER soundtrack, which is going to be released i think by sony.
for those of you wondering, the song on the official site is called "let go" , by frou frou.
and to you-know-who.....thats one year and counting. thank you.
Jul 9, 2004
i liked your memo.
SI.com - Cavaliers, Paxson pay price for doing right
it's enough to bring a guy to the brink of a jerry maguire breakdown.
shut up......just....shut up....
you had me at UNGRATEFUL BASTARD.
boozer may have been one of my proudest sleeper gems from my fantasy pool last year -- and he had earned my respect as a hard worker and up-and-coming star. but this.....this is just wrong.
if i were on the cavs, i would circle the first game we have against utah, and work towards it for the next few hundred days.
and if i were a utah player? honestly, i'd be disgusted to have this kind of character in my locker room. and i'd make sure he knew it.
what a scum bag, yeesh.
it's enough to bring a guy to the brink of a jerry maguire breakdown.
shut up......just....shut up....
you had me at UNGRATEFUL BASTARD.
boozer may have been one of my proudest sleeper gems from my fantasy pool last year -- and he had earned my respect as a hard worker and up-and-coming star. but this.....this is just wrong.
if i were on the cavs, i would circle the first game we have against utah, and work towards it for the next few hundred days.
and if i were a utah player? honestly, i'd be disgusted to have this kind of character in my locker room. and i'd make sure he knew it.
what a scum bag, yeesh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)