blogger sucks.

maybe it's just me, but it seems the most poetic, elegant words are the words
you never really say. They're in your head, but get lost in the translation when thought becomes reality.

I find this is the case with not just words, but all of life. It's easy to be an optimist, and just as easy to be
a jaded cynical grump. Both ideals are kept perfect in our heads though. They mold the way we see the world.
But when our expectations are transfered into reality, I find i'm always left short changed. It never turns out
like it does in my head, which is BAD. because the way in my head is already planned for 5 steps ahead.
It has contingency plans for its contingency plans. But i never get that far, because a wrench is thrown into
the process right off the bat and my original assumption is blown away. This leads me to draw several conclusions...

Everything i know is wrong. I realise this may be cliche, but a good saying is usually one rooted in wisdom, and this one
certainly is. We like to think we know it all. But we don't. We know nothing, nor will we EVER know anything. Life is the process
of learning to accept and cope with our futile ability to understand what is called existence, and reality. It's not what we can know.
it's what we can accept we CAN'T know, and should stop TRYING to know. With this, maybe we'll be better prepared to live.

I've been told life is surreal. Life is meaningless. Life is beautiful. Life is all things to all people. But the most important i feel, is
that life is fleeting. This is the unshakable truth which i cannot avoid whatever twist and turn my mind makes in trying to philosophise my role in the grand scheme of things. And it makes you question......your life. happiness. purpose. honesty. integrity. morality. spirituality. direction.

analyze away. when you come to an answer.
please let me know.

man.
i need to rethink my site. something easier to update. hm....
maybe i just need to stop being so lazy. i seem to have other hobbies occupying my time nowadays.

i think i need to update more often.

beth orton is so damn cool. went to see her yesterday.
the live version of mount washington absolutely blew my away....one of those songs where after it ends, i just sat there and thought
"holy. that was effin amazing". It has a billion times more energy live then the album version.
i thought about that one song the rest of the nite, although she also did a nice three song encore
with she cries your name and a wicked cool acoustic rendition of concrete sky. She also did this one's gonna bruise, but i never did
really like that song....

either way. time very well spent.