May 13, 2006

the empty threats of little lord

it's raining in europe.

this should be fun.

us ones in between

is heart a quantifiable characteristic?

and when i say heart, i don't mean hockey grit -- i'm referring to the human perspective. as in, when you describe someone as having a good heart, what does that mean exactly?

i have many great friends. i know many amazing people. but even of those i am close to, i would not say they all have good hearts in the sense that they are inherently selfless. there are people who think about themselves first, and those who put others before them.

to me, having a good heart is when you put people before you without having to make a concious effort to do so. when loving those around you is just instinctive.

why the semantical monologue you ask? i don't know. i've just been spending a lot of time this past week examining my priorities, and what matters to me in life. funerals will do that to a guy.

apropos, there was no actual conclusion reached at the end of my daydreaming and mind wandering. all i know is i want to take no one around me for granted ever.

May 10, 2006

alone jealous & stoned

how things can change in the blink of an eye.

when you realize what you have only because it's finally taken from you. how stubborn are we?

perspective is this awesome aspect of our lives that we use to cope -- to stay level headed when we're up, and to keep ourselves above water when we're down. it's perspective that we grow in when life takes turns for the tragic. it's perspective that allows us to look back and laugh.

but in the here and now, sometimes there are no words. sometimes it really might not be ok. sometimes you just have to face up to reality, and accept that things are out of your control. sometimes, all we have is hope.

and sometimes, that isn't enough.

May 7, 2006

earthquakes and sharks

some memorably sad moments in simon's laundry history:

- pullover windbreaker stained pink/orange
- the febreeze debacle; 3 lambswool sweaters fall victim to my mothers madness
- the franklin marshall zip-up; bleeding all over itself

on top of the fact i just lost thirty bucks, i really liked that silly white zip-up. it was so....white.

mental note: no more buying anything that has felt lettering stuck to it.

my parents need to stop doing my laundry without telling me. i know they mean well, but they ruin something one in every two times. whenever i come home and realize they've emptied my hamper, i get that anxious feeling -- like a prostitute waiting for an HIV test result. it's like they know i'm mooching off them by living in their basement and eating their food, so they're exacting their revenge on me by selectively destroying things that i bring home.

"oops. did that tag say COLD water? either way, you shouldn't buy clothes that have both dark AND light colours on them. it's your own fault really, smarten up"

parents. they're sneaky like that.

May 4, 2006

3000 flowers

the devils will win the cup, over the sharks in the final.

the pistons will win the larry o'brian trophy, over the mavs.

the jays are going to win the AL wildcard and play the yankees in the first round.

i am going to pee.

May 3, 2006

the song i swore to never sing

there's this scene during the princess bride where the lovely buttercup is about to commit suicide by stabbing. she's just so damn heart broken over Wesley having not come to save her -- having lost her one true love not once, but twice -- and now condemned to spend the rest of her life with that darn Prince Humperdinck. she simply can't take it.

with her dagger raised high in the air, ready to plunge deep into her own heart and end her pain forever, Wesley says to her:
"there's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. it'd be a shame to ruin yours"
don't we just love to take for granted the goods we have?

self-confidence is one thing -- lots of people are assured of themselves. but not everyone believes they are capable of making a difference. so often we think we're stuck in our little ruts, destined to live mediocre and entirely irrelevant lives that will serve only to fade away one day into the recorded annals of 'history that no one cares about'. we give up on greatness.

what a lie this is. and what a tragedy that the biggest liar of all would convince amazing people that this could possibly be true.

not to say we should spend all our time basking in the glory of a perfect set of breasts.

but you know, when things seem to be going not the way you had planned, there's always a bigger picture. there's a point, and an explanation, and as a consequence there will always be another reason to pick yourself up in the morning, even if you got TKO'd the night before.

we're just not meant to win every battle. the war's already won.

it's like Rocky 1, where even when Apollo knocks Rocky on his ass -- Rocky still wins. he wins the hearts of the crowd, the audience, his girlfriend, even Apollo.

some of you may be thinking "hey now, that's loser talk", but the fact is that's kind of how God works, y'know? he sees the bigger picture. and when we believe that us losing is somehow going to ruin God's plans, that's so narrow minded of us. it's placing these limits and doubts on how powerful He is.

who's standards are we measuring ourselves to? what do we expect of ourselves, and where did those expectations come from?

i spent a whole sunday school class talking about this, and it's still in my mind.

time to end the rambling, it's getting incoherent.....

May 1, 2006

intimate secretary

nothing like a busy weekend to get you ready for a 15 hour night of sleep. that was nice.

it's weird how productive i can be when it doesn't involve doing anything for myself. in fact, i thrive off it. i love running around helping people, it just makes me feel so....alive. i'm so willing to completely destroy myself in an effort to help everyone around me, but i always slack off and half-ass things that are to or for my own benefit.

i should learn to like....harness that dilligence towards my own life.