Aug 26, 2010

Excerpt from AV Club comments for this past week's episode of 'Louie'

24 AUG. 2010 | 11:59 PM CDT
Your avatar pic is really cute, kind of got me thinking why there aren't any black women in Japanese hentai animated films. Course there aren't really any "japanese" women either. There are the occasional black men but aside from Kite: Part 1 where the beautiful female detective fantasized about sleeping with freakishly endowed black partner you only see black men during gang rape scenes. Even in Japanese pornography where American Porn Stars are flown to Japan they are always white girls. I have often masturbated to the classic Bob Clampett warners short "coal black and the seven dwarfs" and feel that an animated remake could bring a greater appreciation of the erotic qualities of black women to Japan. I do not mean to imply that I hope to see Coal Black get gangraped by seven freakishly endowed dwarfs which is a cliched idea. Perhaps if they used the same character design but she was the leader of a mecha freedom force stationed on Jupiters moons and is kidnapped by Earth special forces and is strapped to a wall and erotically electrocuted for hours on end while being shown propaganda footage and is forced to grow a penis (no balls) which is necessary to ejaculate the thousands of ants which live in her uterus (making her look 20 months pregnant) that acts as one giant testicle.

25 AUG. 2010 | 12:57 AM CDT
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

25 AUG. 2010 | 12:59 AM CDT

25 AUG. 2010 | 1:14 AM CDT
I didn't intend to come across as racist, I don't fantasize about witnessing animated black women being raped from a racial standpoint, I feel that cartoon women are idealized perfect women and a true celebration of erotic qualities. Tentacle rape scenes bring out emotions and bodily transformations in women that are impossible to capture in real life and to witness an animated black women have such a fantastical ethereal experience of being filled with gallons of semen and ants it would be a privellige to witness because of my RESPECT for black sexuality and intelligence and that I cannot believe I am witnessing such a thing.

Think if you were to witness Beyonce Knowles being penetrated (arms) by and ejaculated on by a gang of octopi and although at first her pupils contract and she has a look of abject fear like this is a waking nightmare she soon gives in and has many orgasms and you have to tackle her to stop her from swimming back out into the ocean after them when they are finally exhausted and leave, it is because she is such a classy beautiful and intelligent woman that the depravity and surrealness of that situation is so erotic and amazing. If I were racist and was not in awe in her I would not feel there is any fall from grace. I am simply saying I wish that the most pure expression of female sexuality known to man (hentai) would embrace the strong and mysterious sexuality of black women.

25 AUG. 2010 | 1:23 AM CDT
I want to make it clear that I LOVE BLACK WOMEN! I do find you intimidating though because of your beauty. I tried to check out some books at the library once and the librarian was a pretty black woman and she made a comment about the weather and my face was so read and I was so nervous that I just sputtered and snot started running down my face like I had a cold I had to stare at the floor and she looked at me like i was crazy and I felt so pissed off cause I could tell she thought I was cute at first and I ended up smacking the tower of books to the ground in anger and then sprinting outside and didn't stop for 6 blocks and nearly got hit by a car and I threw up.

25 AUG. 2010 | 1:26 AM CDT
Sounds like you have too much free time and/or semen on your hands.

25 AUG. 2010 | 1:30 AM CDT
I am on disability for severe aspergers/autism and anxiety. I used to work in a comic store but too many women complained.

Jul 20, 2010

Jul 14, 2010

A burger. Made entirely of bacon.

Matt Bloom over at has posted his harrowing tale of making (and eating) a hamburger (literally) made with only food processed bacon and a single egg for structural stability.

This is most definitely why you're fat.

The article, which is both informative and disgusting, features a video of Bloom eating his caloric crusher to varying degrees of enjoyment.

Notable: the video is shot with an iPhone 4 and looks awesome.

Jul 13, 2010



naturally: NPR - What is a 'Massive Heart Attack'?

You know what I've never understood? Why do newspapers always say somebody died of a massive heart attack? Didn't New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner just die of a heart attack? Is it really relevant that it was massive?

It's the same thing as when someone dies in a horrific car accident, or is brutally stabbed in a murder. Aren't fatal car accidents all generally pretty horrific? Isn't a stabbing murder by nature brutal?


Jul 12, 2010

The Polaris Prize finalists seem awful familiar

The 2010 Polaris shortlist:

  • The Besnard Lakes
  • Owen Pallet
  • BSS
  • Radio Radio
  • Caribou
  • The Sadies
  • Karkwa
  • Shad
  • Dan Mangan
  • Tegan and Sara

Does it reflect badly on the prize when the same bands keep showing up on this shortlist every year? I'm all for the concept of the Polaris, awarding artistic merit. And to the prizes credit, the winners have often been smaller bands grinding out original sounds (Miracle Fortress, Fucked Up) but, seriously, every year there are the same 4-5 bands on this short list. Metric is missing because they didn't release anything this year. Stars missed the cut because... uh, well, because their new album is kind of awful.

But the Besnard Lakes are repeat nominees. As are BSS, Final Fantasy/Owen Pallet, Caribou, Shad, Tegan and Sara. That's 6 out of 10!

Maybe the issue is there simply aren't 10 prize-worthy albums released in Canada every year. Let's be honest, if Forgiveness Rock Record or Tegan and Sara when this year's prize, people would be pretty shocked. So why are they even on the list? Another personal complaint, but where's Sarah Harmer? Her new album is wonderful.

On the bright side, I love that the Polaris sheds light on some great, less publicized Canadian artists -- which, let's be honest -- is really the whole point of this exercise.

I'm personally rooting for Dan Mangan's Nice, Nice, Very Nice. Great folk-pop album, strong from start to finish. Mangan's voice comes off as a happy version of Glen Hansard (of The Frames) minus the accent. The songs are tightly written and there isn't much to complain about as Mangan manages to jump from twangy to dreamy without batting an eye nor unsettling the flow of the album.

Jul 7, 2010

Smashing snooze on the biological clock

New York Magazine has this really great feature on the modern dilemma of having children. Essentially it explores whether there is a dichotomy between parenting and individual happiness, and the nebulous attempts to define what the hell happiness really is anyways.

Rarely do articles both provoke thought and are relatable these days, but this one indeed hits the mark twice.

Full disclosure: all my friends are having kids. Literally, all of them. By November I'll have known nine couples who had children this year.

I'm obviously not going to foster children any time soon (I haven't quite perfected a-sexual reproduction yet). Still, the mere thought of being a parent induces mild panic attack type reaction from my body.

From the perspective of the species, it’s perfectly unmysterious why people have children. From the perspective of the individual, however, it’s more of a mystery than one might think. Most people assume that having children will make them happier. Yet a wide variety of academic research shows that parents are not happier than their childless peers, and in many cases are less so. This finding is surprisingly consistent, showing up across a range of disciplines.

Despite a sombre title (All Joy and No Fun: Why parents hate parenting) the story is actually patently informative, objective and insightful about the myriad complexities involved with bringing life into the world that so often go untalked about.

A great read whether you want kids, or not, or simply are of the age where this is even an interesting topic.

Jul 5, 2010

Inner dialogues #8714: retails awkwardness

Self-admission: I am at times rather self-concious despite my oft tendency to display an absolute and utter lack of shame. These tendencies manifest themselves in irregular ways however.

For example, do you have a certain store that you tend to buy most of your clothes from? Have you ever found yourself in a mall wearing clothes from said store, then confronted with having to possibly go into that store to look around but find yourself kind of embarrassed you would do so wearing essentially their clothes?

I'm not saying this is at all logical. I'm just saying it is a somewhat hilarious twinge that most certainly passes my mind; the momentary fear of judgment from the employees in the store, who surely would be thinking "why is he wearing all clothes from this store? does he think he's a mannequin? what a loser! lollollololrofol".

OR, even worse, when you buy something on sale, and you realize after a few days it was an even better deal than you initially understood, then you want to go back and buy another of the same item in a different colour but you're actually wearing that item at the time. Do you ever think "hmmm... maybe I shouldn't go in and buy those shorts right now, because I'm wearing them, and I don't want to seem like I am so unoriginal that I buy all my shorts from here when they are dirt cheap, even though I really need another pair of shorts because it's so goddamn hot".

Yea, that's the worst.