new years seems to get less and less eventful every year. i suppose as you get older and the years start to pile up, each year passing seems to be less of a deal in retrospect as there's so many already gone by. then again, there's still that sense of nostalgia the comes with new years, and you can't help but think of the year that has just passed. the really crazy part is how quickly it all flew by. I sometimes forget that this past year i was still in first year. since we all count by school years, i guess it's sometimes hard to remember that, but indeed we were merely freshmen and summer was a puny 3, 4 months tops. summer always feels like an eternity until it ends, but we'll leave that for another day.

so yes. new years. when we realize how fleeting life is. and there's those that sulk at this fact, and those that take it as rationale to enjoy life to it's fullest. after all, you only have so many days to have fun. where's the efficiency in moping around?

asides from looking back, i guess looking forward is an equally important aspect of each new years. expectations, anticipation, the mystery of another chapter of our lives, ready to be written. i use to think i could have gut feelings about years. that, hey, this one's gonna be big. but as i've experienced, this is silly; they all end up big, especially when you least expect it. predicting life is like looking ahead at an invisible road. you could guess, and it might even be educated. but you just never know what's gonna happen. when the bottom will drop out, or you'll take a corner too fast. that's the fun i personally think. conversely, i suppose that's the tragic part of life, but if you don't accept both sides of the coin, there isn't much point in living.

anyhow.

resolutions are for idiots i always thought. silly idealists who dream big and have zero ambition. but maybe there's something in a new year after all? some.....intangible appeal about the possibility of a fresh start. to be able to change who you are at the stroke of midnight and take on the world, fresh faced once again and ready to mend past mistakes (or at the very least, leave them behind).

am i one of these people? as i said, apparently i am when it comes to school years. i thought i would be more responsible this term, but that doesn't seem to be the case. and now that i have one term left to drastically determine my future educational paths, i fear i may be unable once again to change.

in a new year however, one can't shake that little nagging voice...annoying as it is:

fresh start!
hope springs eternal. one can only believe it's this voice that makes people such survivors.

you know it's going to be a good day when you wake up with a song in your head, and that song ends up being the first song you hear when you turn on the radio.

and in the end, it was a white christmas after all.
how refreshing!

Merry Christmas boys and girls. have a good one.

man. it's so hard coming home and having to get used to living with parents again.

adapting to a situation where u have to keep thinking of someone elses needs ahead of your own never fails to frustrate me.

i don't think i'm fit for fatherhood.
actually, i don't think i'm fit for any sort of committment of any type whatsoever....hahaha

well, i've been free from captivity for all of 5 days now and i find myself spending much more than my budget allows for this christmas.
thriftyness will certainly need to be a virtue in the upcoming weeks, or i'm fairly sure i'll find myself sitting at home playing counter-strike for the last week of holidays because i can't afford to leave the house...haha

at least i'm keeping busy i suppose. the next week or so seems to be planned fairly loosely, with events here or there, and the whole Christmas thing and all.

i went to an all-asian intervaristy jam earlier tonight and ran into a bunch of people from school. i was mentioning to my friends how being part of all asian events bugged me. Not only because i find all asian events not as fun as multicultural (read: normal) ones, but it seems when you have an entire club of asians gathered for the sake of having fun by segregation of ourselves from the society around us, i can't help but feel like a freak show. I mean, i know if i walked by an entire building full of drunken asians, i can imagine a non-asian person being fairly confused by the situation. i mean, you don't see there being all white nights. or all black nights.

whats with the all asian nights? i just don't get it.

annnnnyhow....

what with all the shopping that goes on this time of year, i've been thinking alot about my personal standards and stuff, and how difficult it is to live a straight faced, non-hypocritical life when society is fighting against you at every turn. it's sort of like being religious the more i think about it....

i mean....i don't WANT to support child labour. i dont' WANT to be some mindless peonic conformist.....but it's so hard because the more someone seperates themselves from society, the more difficult it becomes to be succesful in society. So if i don't BUY anything, what do i wear? home made clothes and thrift shop wear and indie labels are all cool and hip and stuff, but poor-clothes only last so long, and it's really hard to afford most non-major-retail clothing. I mean, pants cost literally a hundred dollars at lots of stores on queen (arguably the mecca of toronto youth counter-culture). why do i have to be poor to make the world a better place? what if Nike makes the best damn basketball shoes? what choice do i have as a basketball fan?

stupid world and its stupid messed up people.
i'll just sit around i guess, and do what i can. i can't expect to change the world, but i guess it's people who least expect to that usually end up doing so.

i mean hell, ghandi just sat there. That chinese student just stood there in tiananmen square (in front of a tank no less). I wonder what they were thinking...the brave, but incredibly stupid, bastards.....

ahhhhh........exams are over, and first term has ended.
i feel funny. but good funny. per usual, i'm running on fumes.....i failed to sleep last night as i was studying for this final exam - and i use the term 'studying' loosely here - so i'm quite weary. and my arm hurts.
three essay exam. i think i have tennis elbow now....goddamn school.

but yes. the freedom leaves a very nice, warm feeling inside me. not to mention excitment about christmas break. my relief is palpable. sort of like taking a leak after drinking tedious amounts of beer. ohhhhh yea...

lets take a retrospective look at first term, shall we?

assignments missed: 1
classes missed: ? (all of them, minus..oh....5)
mice discovered: 1
exams failed: 1 (this number is likely to rise as marks return)
hours spent at computer: (how many hours of missed classes was that?....thats about it....)

MIT courses kicked out of: 0

i'm particularly proud of that last one.

see ya in toronto children.

whoa. so i downloaded this christmas album by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and it is soooo cool....

it's traditional carols and stuff, but a nice refreshing take on them.
look them up.
i must say, if i had to describe it....imagine if styxx and queen got together and made a christmas album, haha

i also got myself the bright eyes christmas album. very cool.

oh my goodness.
if one more raptor gets injured, then it's pretty much our entire team with the exception of morris peterson, chris jeffries and michael bradley are a bunch of gimps.

those three aren't exactly the greatest triple threat in the league....

so i've been having serious problem getting motivated for school.
i'm not sure what it is, but my apathy seems to have reached an all time low. or high. i dunno, i guess both would be technically correct.

but anyways, i really can't focus on doing my work. i just wander around finding things to eat up time instead. and i know this is normal, but it's never been this bad before. i'm even making MYSELF sick i've been so lazy as of late. i'm not sure what's going on. maybe i'm just hitting a wall or something. but that'd be strange, since i'd have to have gotten moving first before i could hit a wall. hm....

maybe it's time i start looking for stuff that i'd actually like to do for a living instead of taking all these classes that bore the hell out of me....

the new maxima is pretty ugly.
it looks like a hyundai or something, cuz it has the "i'm a cheaper rip-off of another car" type look to it.
it's an ugly 2000 passat is what it is. damn...

holy crap i'm busy this week....
4 exams and an essay all in one week.....it's not going to be pretty.
next sunday seems so far away.......but then...it's allll over.....

holy crap i'm busy this week....
4 exams and an essay all in one week.....it's not going to be pretty.
next sunday seems so far away.......but then...it's allll over.....

so we FINALLY got around to playing with the camera.
we did one of those conanish skit/slide show things. i thought it was pretty funny, even though i must say in the end, the artistic integrity of my script was compromised.
damn you du. damn you.

check it out here!

and i thought this picture was pretty funny too. anyone seen the ring? haha....yes. you are special as you understand this picture....

meh. i decided two seperate sections was too much trouble.
i think we're gonna start makign silly movies......once we have free time, that is. even amusement can be hindered by laziness i've learned.

anyhow, the ok go album is just really really catchy. Nothing spectacular, but an album that knows what it's goal is, and it certainly pleases.
really good album, i highly recommend it to anyone.

so me and du were watching this informercial this morning where you tie a baseball to a string and you keep hitting it around a pole (a la tetherball) to improve your hand eye co-ordination and stuff.
and in the background of every scene, there's someone like, clapping and cheering whoever's using the thing on. EVERY scene.
it was funny.