decided to pre-emptively blow my first paycheck on bjork tickets.

but man oh man, i have no regrets i can say with confidence. I've waited YEARS to see bjork.

I can imagine it already: standing in a field with a thousand other music geeks and simply soaking in the moment as the bassline kicks in during hyperballad and the whole crowd goes nuts to her siren voice, only to slowly settle down again and sway back and forth gently as the strings take us away.....mmm....a moment of pure catharsis.....

and to those of you who hate Bjork......you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

work

wow. could this be a step towards peace?

amazing news.

i did something extremely difficult today. i deleted all my mp3's. all of them. every album from A-Z and any singles to boot. i deleted warcraft. i deleted quake. i even deleted photoshop. everything i had on my computer that was pirated. right now, all i have left is windowsXP. which sadly, is also pirated.

i can't explain what it's like deleting 22.8 gigs of extremely hard to find albums. many of these weren't mainstream cd's. They were albums and EP's that i spent months searching the internet for. amazing cd's like all of elliott smith's albums's.....jen wood.....the postal service.....american football.....bright eyes.....the get up kids.....the gloria record....counterfit....built to spill....belle and sebastian.....

i could go on.

but as difficult as it was to delete them, then to confirm i wanted to delete them (windows is a cruel, harsh process), i find myself much relieved.

not to say i'm perfect. that much is pretty obvious.
but at least i'm trying to realize that I have to let God into every aspect of my life if i'm going to grow closer to Him, instead of holding on to selective things. compromising Him. i've tried it my way for so long, i figure maybe i'll just give God a chance.

it feels kind of nice.

stupid NBA. the draft is so rigged. oh well. this looks like who our pick is going to be:

Chris Bosh
6-10, 210, PF, Georgia Tech (Fr.)

With Bosh, it's all about the upside. His tall frame and silky-smooth game are very much reminiscent of a Kevin Garnett, but the ACC's rookie of the year needs to add some serious bulk if he hopes to bang with a Karl Malone. Bosh does have an impressive jump shot, making a staggering 47.8 percent of his 3-pointers, he can pass and he's a tenacious defender, leading the ACC in blocks (2.2 per game).

i hope we trade our pick and mopete for someone good....

so...whats on my mind....

cultural/societal perpetuation of female asthetic ideals. Being the idiot that i am, i'm still up at 2:50am doing nothing and watching whatever's on tv. there was this show on about these two asian girls who wanted to have surgery done on their eyelids to change them from single to double. one of them was this little korean girl who must have been no more than maybe 15-16 years old who felt absolutely horrible that she didn't have double eyelids. she actually said she looked into the mirror at herself and just gets discouraged.

it's just so wrong that a kid like that should have to suffer the pervasive effects that a lack of self-esteem can result in. Particularly due to something as trivial as single or double eyelids. it's even more sad watching her cry because she just wants to look more like the models in magazines and all that crap. sometimes i wonder if the lack of intimacy in most relationships between asian parents and their children doesn't in part contribute to an increased (in general) lack of self-esteem in asians? not that i blame parents. i mean, they're simply adhereing to a culture that's thousands of years old. but thats not to say change can't happen. it just has to start somewhere...

went to campus challenge this past weekend. was an amazing time of fellowship in the most biblical sense of the word. refreshing is the word that pops into my head....

so they can apparently grow meat on trees now. whats next?

and bah, i missed most of the season finale of smallville. darn parents.

supposedly, Hideo Nakata's Dark Water is his scariest movie yet. (He's the guy who did the original 'Ringu').

Scarier than the ring?? oh man, i wanna see this movie soooo bad.....

In the U.K., for example, there are more Jedis than Jews. Nearly 400,000 people identified themselves as Jedi in the 2001 census. Only 260,000 said they were Jewish. The Jedis seemed to be concentrated in England and Wales.

this is pretty funny.

way to jerk around stats canada, hehheh

get rich quick schemes seem to get harder as you grow older. remember when you'd find a quarter and you thought you were the luckiest kid in the world?

yes....how i long for those days again....

i'm in the mood to make a list. lets see......uhhh.....lets do my list of best movies ever. i won't rank them though, it's too hard to rank movies...... and that would take too much thinking.

my arbitrary list of 10:

1. american history x
2. stand by me
3. magnolia
4. T2
5. dancer in the dark
6. hard boiled cop
7. dead poets society
8. memento
9. chasing amy
10. the princess bride

it was hard to leave bowling for columbine off this list. but i mean...as amazing a movie as that was....it just doesn't beat any of these for sheer entertainment. i mean....who can forget classic lines like:

"so....if you're a lesbian, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all day?" (chasing amy)

being unemployed does have its perks. i've been able to really catch up on my reading as of late.
so much so in fact, that i find myself reading four books at once. i just sort of grab whichever one i feel like reading at the moment whenever i please. i've also made it my personal goal to actually write something this summer. asides from my distance studies essays that is.....

i was thinking maybe a young adults novel, but that may be a bit ambitious for a 4 month process, so i'm leaning more towards finishing the short film i started so long ago but never got around to. i remember writing 3 pages of script then losing it in one of my many computer reformats. i guess push come to shove, i can always try and realize my high school short film ambition - "fat woman trying to fit into washroom stall"

no one else thought it would be a good idea, but i maintain once they see the finished product, the genious will be evident in and of itself. assuming of course my vision isn't compromised by angry plus-sized interest groups or anything, as i could see how they may misinterpret my idea as offensive. but really, it's not! it's art. pure and simple.

i wish i could convince people that i'm not sarcastic right now, but i have the feeling no argument could make them believe that.

alan and joel at their place.
i wasn't even with them that night, herb took this picture. but i thought it was funny.
why is it funny? because they look stupid! yuk yuk yuk!

forgot i cancelled my london internet account, so all the images on the page are now gone....i'll get around to that tomorrow i suppose....

for the moment, my ears are filled by the music of sleep station. they're.....dreamy. in a good way. think granddaddy meets creeper lagoon.

wonderful

Cheap gas just isn't worth it....

so i waited allllll day to get gas for 49.9 at petrocan and really....it was such a frustrating experience that it really makes you want to just walk around and beat sense into people. I'm really surprised that more people aren't KILLED every boxing day, seeing the way some people acted at the gas station.

first of all, i'm driving down the street and i turn RIGHT, into the station and the end of a long line. this lady in a minivan turns left from the same street and pulls up beside me (meaning she's blocking the wrong side of the entrance...preventing ppl from exiting....) and rolls down her window, proceeding to bitch at me. "we've been waiting 25 minutes to turn in and you just drive up and pull into the station? all those people waiting are mad at you, you have no right, yadda yadda yadda" so i tune her out and allow her to bud in line in front of me to shut her incessant chatter. then the guy who was behind her in the left turn line decides the lady had a brilliant idea, and ALSO turns left into the wrong side of the driveway so he can slowly inch by and give me a dirty look.

now.....i don't know about you, but the last time i checked, there was nothing wrong with making a right turn into a gas station. I'm sorry you've been waiting a long time to turn left, but guess what? I HAVE RIGHT OF WAY. just because you've been waiting a long time doesn't mean i'm an ass for not stopping in the middle of the street to let you turn first. what the hell is wrong with these people??

i've never seen one little plot of land filled with so many people honking and swearing and giving horrible looks to other people. after i got my gas, i tried to get out and couldn't because so many people were trying to get IN on the wrong side of the entrances. with literally nowhere to turn because i'm surrounded by cars, some idiot decides to start honking me because i haven't vacated the pump yet. uh....hello? honking isn't going to make me dissapear....nor will it clear all the cars in front of me out of the way... it's tourist syndrome man. like yelling at someone who doesn't know english, as if the volume of your voice has anything to do with them understanding what you're saying. ignorance. just......retarded people and their ignorance.

something about saving money seems to bring out the worst in people. if cheap gas can do this to everyday average folk, i'd hate to see what free money or something would do. kind of explains the looting in Iraq huh? we look at the Iraqi people and self-righteously think "thats so sad. how could they do that to their own country? they're so barbaric.....WE would never do that..." we think with that smug superiority complex we seem to have here in the west. and you know....it's b.s. the whole lot of it.

we're exactly the same people. inside and out. the gas station is just a microcosm of harsh reality.....