this is really really cool.

kinda makes you wanna run out and be nice to everyone you see huh?

in totally unrelated news.....the japanese restaurant across the street from my neighbourhood renovated and got new ownership.
it's really nice now. still small, bit much more modern. it feel warm and intimate as opposed to cramped.

oh, and the foods good.

i was reading my yearbook grad comment....and i wrote something surprisingly wise that i didn't even recall writing.

"...i thank God, for having faith in me, even when i didn't have faith in Him"

how profound this is in hindsight. it's something i keep having to remind myself every day when i wake up, and every nigth before i go to sleep. it's something i can't even comprehend a majority of the time i realize it, yet i know to be heart wrenchingly true.

it's what i use to keep me in line when i can't seem to focus. the experience of God's grace and how real it is to me.

to take a page out of amy's blog.....i will spontaneously list things i'm thankful for....

- that God will never give up on me.
- the love from that knowledge that allows me to love others
- the people i love
- water bottles
- music
- chinese food
- opportunity
- freedom

and finally....

- that people are researching why yawning is contagious.

neat huh?

the trailer for Bubba Ho-Tep is up. This is the new Bruce Campbell movie coming out soon from the creators of Army of Darkness. From the looks of the trailer, it appears it will meet the lofty expectations evil dead fans will have of it. i can't wait.

shop smart.
shop s-mart.

slight change of plans! i'm no longer having a garage sale!
let me explain....

instead of hauling everything out and going through all that trouble, i think when i move my family is just going to leave everything we don't want in the old house since we still have it for a few months.

afterwards than, it means everything still left in the house will be on sale. no fuss, no muss. just come over and pillage anything you see, cuz if it's here, it means we no longer want it. make sense? cool.

so now it really IS a liquidation sale.....or a contents sale, whatever, haha it'll be sometime after august 18th, don't know when yet. but i'll keep everyone posted.

also, i uploaded the pictures from Nappy's BBQ. dogs are pretty fun to photograph, i must concede...

time for a random update post.

volunteered today....bloorview has been pretty cool i have to say. It's basically babysitting, nothing different from playing with normal kids really. it does however really make you grateful for how lucky you are. i take the fact that i can kick a ball standing up for granted. and these are just kids! i can totally understand how some people would devote their lives to aiding the disabled. it's not necessarily something i'd consider personally, but i'd totally understand how some people could do it.

spent some time with parents.....played ball.....then went to east sides for some half-price appetizers. cheap food is great. much thanks to ry for treating us all. a grand round of bum cupping is in order indeed.

in other 'whats-going-on-in-my-life' news, i can't complain. i've been contemplating looking for a second, more "real" job, but i'm pretty happy with the way my summers been so far.

actually, i could go so far as to say this has been one of my favourite summers ever so far, with lots of trips and stuff still planned for august to look forward too. i'm actually so happy lately i feel guilty. i have no clue what i've ever done to deserve all that i have. I have to keep reminding myself to thank God, and really it's been a summer of endless praise. It's so much harder to stay focused in Him when everything's coasting along because you forget why you need him. there's that complacency thing again.....but i'm dealing with it better than before thankfully.

it's not often in my life i've felt like this, so i'm gonna milk it for all its worth. i guess God forgives me for playing rock/paper/scissors in church after all! woohoo!

Rev. Lee however......

in unrelated news, anyone who's ever played DDR, u can be amused by people who are really good.

well...i stumbled upon this clip of someone playing a similar type of musical game, and it's RIDICULOUS. i think even people who don't know what i'm talking about should watch this.

everyone....DOWNLOAD THIS CLIP.

i was hoping to leave my notice about my impending liquidation of personal belongings up as long as possible to maximize its exposure to the many (read: 3) people who frequent my site. but i'm really bored and people are starting to make fun of my flower background so i feel obligated to respond.

i took this picture! i thought it turned out pretty well. so here it is. i'm not a pansy, damn you all. moving on.

it seems like a lot of the people in my life are going through some low patches right now. ok, maybe not low patches, but at the very least a lot of people in my life seem to have had better days at the moment. Especially going through the blogs/sites of my friends, the negative and problematic certainly outweigh the positive.

is it depressing? well....no. not really. everyone goes through low points. it's no help if i get depressed. my job as a friend is to encourage, support and advise when possible.

i can't be sure....but you know what i think is the biggest problem with a lot of people though? myself included, because i think it's personally a problem: complacency.

we're far too comfortable in our lives. we're too used to our regular routine. too unwilling to step out of our comfort zone. to take risks, to challenge ourselves more than we were challenged the previous day.

i look at myself, and i look at those around me, and i see a pattern of apathy towards change. we all pine for change, but do nothing about it. we're too used to what we're comfortable doing, and we're not going out of our way to grow, to learn.

passion is the key to life. passion for God. passion for living life.

reasons for passion may differ. you may be spiritual, you may be practical, whatever. but passion in any of it forms must exist, or life becomes mundane to the point of being unbearable. you'll start to question existence.

the second you wonder what life is for, the moment you take it for granted, you must realize you're too comfortable i think. you've lost your passion, for whatever it may be.

it's important to find what you really care about, what you feel gives you strength, and to hold on to it. respect it, cherish it and be honest to it. otherwise, things tend to get real tough, real fast....

i'm having a garage/moving sale of me and my parents belongings.
pictures and prices (all negotiable of course) will be up soon. please pass the word along that on august 2nd, starting at 7:30am i'm going to be selling loooooots of cool stuff.

including amongst other things:

- video game systems and games (SNES+Game Doctor, Genesis, PS1)

- furniture (various tables, chairs, desks, lamps, etc.)

- clothing (BRAND NEW, never been worn, tags still attatched pants, shorts, shirts. brand names like abercrombie, quicksilver, roots, gap, etc.....my dad used to buy them to use as samples for his business, but now they're just sitting in a box)

- yard tools (lawnmower, weedwhacker, hedge trimmers, shovels, rakes, etc.)

- 15" Volkswagon/Audi MOMO aftermarket rims

and all the other sorts of crap that people sell at a garage sale, but the above mentioned items are (i believe) the "best" stuff i'm trying to get rid of. pass this along to your friends, and your friends friends, and all those people that i don't know but might be interested in super cheap goodies.

hm...several things to rant about before i fall asleep. i warn you now, this will be long.

first off, has anyone seen the infomercial for the owl?
the infomercial really stresses how useful it is in restaurants with dim lighting so people can read the menu and stuff.

i love it because one of the customer testimonies (and for this infomerical, they're wonderfully low budget and fake) there's this one guy who's says:

"i love it, because now people don't make fun of me for not being able to see"

ahem.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
dude. if i saw you pull that stupid looking thing out of your pocket and start reading a menu word by word, i'd be laughing so hard i'd pull something. maybe it's just me, but i could have swore reading stuff was what reading glasses were for.....

moving on to progressively less immature topics, i'm really really mulling over this whole kobe thing. Everyone is pretty in shock. i mean....if he's convicted, that's 4 years in jail. that's no small matter.....especially considering he's debatably the league's biggest star. people say it's suspicious that he only confessed to adultry until after the DNA evidence came out. that him admiting to consensual sex with his wife at his side at the press conference is mere PR staging. this is probably true. to an extent.

then there's those that just don't believe it. who think this girl is making these accusations for kicks.

uh.....no. you SUE people for kicks. accusing them of rape isn't something to take lightly. if this girl's telling the truth, i feel HORRIBLE for her. kobe has some of the best people in the business working for him. the nature of sexual assault cases being what they are, this girl's character, reputation, her whole life up to this point is going to be torn apart by kobe's lawyers. they're going to do EVERYTHING in their power to discredit her. and i think that's awful.

i think it's silly to ask people "do you think he did it?".

what kind of question is that? what happened to innocent until proven guilty? if we judge people before they even go to trial, aren't we kind of screwing them over? that works conversely as well. no one can say he's innocent. clearly, SOMETHING happened. either way, i think this is a tragedy. an absolute tragedy.

not just for basketball.... but in general.
this guy is a role model for literally millions of kids. but he screwed up. he screwed up huge. it's evident how human he was when he was confessing to committing adultry.

imagine we were put through this sort of scrutiny every time we screwed up? that whole every-sin-is-equal thing really hits you hard when you think of it that way....

anyone, to end my rant, i must admit to being very frustrated when people aren't dependable. i think when you consider someone a friend, you consider them someone you depend on. someone you're willing to sacrifice for because you know they'd do the same for you in a heartbeat.

it really really irks me when i know that i'm being nice to someone who probably would not reciprocat my kindness. does this mean i'm only kind so others will be nice to me? i'll be honest. sort of. i mean, isn't it sort of natural to assume that if you're nice, other people will be nice to you? even if that's not the REASON you're nice, it's still an assumption you tend to make.

if you open a door for someone, you don't expect them to cuss you off for no reason do you? you expect them to walk through the door....

how can anyone take the people in their lives for granted? argh.
i think this is like, one of the few things that really really bugs me in life, and i'm not easily perturbed. oh well. i'll sleep it off i guess.

i wonder how old i'll be until i start to think new music coming out is all crap and pine for the golden oldies and classic tunes of my day.

i can almost see it happening.
almost.

...naaaaah. i'll always be cool.

remember wierd al? now THAT was music...

why do we cry when when we're sad, and laugh when we're happy?
biologically i mean.

it would be a strange world indeed if we cried when we were happy and laughed when we were sad.

wait a second, sometimes we DO cry when we're happy and we DO laugh when we're sad.

humans are odd.

fine, that's far to vexing to think about. lets move on.
I wonder if emotions can be measured and quantified? surely there's some sort of chemistry involved, or else prozac wouldn't exist.

it would be surreal if in the future we were able to literally alter our moods on a whim. i have to think that if people were never sad, we'd suffer as a society. culturally, i believe more art is borne of sorrow than any other emotion. sure, there's happy paintings, happy music, happy whatever.

but i've always held the opinion that sad is cooler.

when's the last time you saw a happy person acting aloof? and as we all know, all artistic genious' are aloof.....

i love that word. aloof. aloof. a-loo-f.
sounds like a dog noise.....

watched battle royale tonight, and it was actually a little better than i expected. there was much more plot and character depth than i thought there would be, so it was a pretty pleasant surprise to find it was actually a quality film and not just pure shock value.

was a little confused by the typically vague japanese ending, but i figure it gives the audience a chance to interpret the movie on their own level, and read as deep into it as they want to.

on an unrelated note, i'm still not done my essay.

it's funny how a single thought can change your entire disposition.

i need to start sleeping earlier.
i wonder whether or not doing devo's right before bed may or may not be the best time to do it. regardless, i can't get over how shockingly pertinent devo's can be every once in a while. I realize the Christian walk is one that every Christian can relate to, thus the seeming specific relevance i feel towards some of these exerpts. But i honestly sometimes feel as if the devo was chosen specifically for me, at any given time i read it, to apply to my life.

it's actually kind of creepy.
but reassuring, in that uncomfortable way that reassuring things can be.

i'm so encouraged right now.

i feel sometimes like i'm stuck in a cycle of sin. where knowing God only puts more pressure on me because i feel even worse when i sin. because i feel bad sinning conciously....then afterwards i'm almost ashamed to pray or meet with God or continue my relationship. i feel like a fraud. i feel like my love is insincere.

why am i sharing this? i'm not even sure. i read something from devo's that really spoke to me....

"[a] spiritually vigorous saint never believes that his circumstances simply happen at random, nor does he ever think of his life as being divided into the secular and the sacred. He sees every situation in which he finds himself as the means of obtaining a greater knowledge of Jesus Christ, and he has an attitude of unrestrained abandon and total surrender about him."

i normally keep a personal journal for my spiritual sharings....but i find it's collecting dust from lack of use. i figure....why hide things away? because i'm scared of offending people? i hope not. that's not my goal by writing this. i just feel that i'd benefit more from doing this since i come to my own page a few times a day and this way i can actually make these profound realizations useful to me. it's what my dusty journal is meant for, but in an infinitely more practical sense....

but i digress. back to - i sometimes feel like i'm trapped in a cycle.
but the devo....and the passage....philippians 3:7-10 just really hit me. i'm forgiven. it's just such a constant struggle with trust. with sin. with doubt. but i have to press onward because of God. i can't doubt if my love is insincere, or it will be the more i think it is. i'll analyze every action i do instead of simply living a life God wants me to live.

so suddenly, i'm thinking the song "here i am to worship" became very clear to me. i normally associate it with worship....as in....ok, we're at church/fellowship, it's now time to worship. thus - 'here i am to worship'. "prepare to worship" is the phrase that i associate it with. but i realize now....no. that's not right.

here i am to worship.

right now. everyday. with every breath i take. i'm here to worship. i mean....that's the ONLY reason i'm here at all. i keep seperating God from my normal life. And i doubt. i struggle. because i can't keep my eyes on him if i keep putting Him in my pocket. I can't believe how simple these little reminders are. we forget so quickly when we get too comfortable in our lives. with our own ideas.


Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness,
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You.

Chorus:
So here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God,
You're altogether lovely,
Altogether worthy,
Altogether wonderful to me.

Verse 2:
King of all days oh so highly exalted,
Glorious in heaven above.
Humbly You came to the earth You created,
All for love's sake became poor.

Bridge:
And I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross.

the bridge is amazing, because it just puts things in perspective. sometimes i can't "feel" God. but i can never hope to attain total understanding...of our relationship. I just have to accept the fact that He loves me. The chorus however is the part that struck me. I want to sing it out every second i'm awake. As a life philosophy, it's what i want in my head 24/7. I can't even count how many times i've sung this song, and yet until now it's never really meant anything to me. wierd.

malone joins the lakers

riiiight. this is ridiculous. the lakers are starting to look like the team you put together in NBA 2k2 when you get bored and just start stacking your team for fun.

shaq. malone. kobe. payton. [insert 5th laker jersey here].

that starting line up scares me. provided they're healthy, and shaq gets back into shape, i don't see how they could possibly not be champions next season, unless their ego's cause them to implode as a team a la portland. considering malone took a 9 millionsish dollar paycut to play though, i'm thinking his ego's in check.

you could drape the fifth jersey around a basketball and roll it around the court as their 5th player and they'd still win 60 games man. this is just unfair.

well, i'm not afraid. we have lamond murray. so.....yea....

i don't understand how gas can cost 59.7 at 7pm, and 71.2 at 9pm.

someone explain the pattern of gas pricing to me, because i don't get it. darn communists.

(p.s. i am fully aware of the irony behind blaming a capitalism driven phenomenon on communists. but please. let me have my moment of grief).

uploaded the pics from the retreat and the darknights pics.

the new background is helen and her wierd space beenie man. it's like a giant stress toy. but in hugable, baby proportions. it proved very strangely soothing.....

anyways, highlight the blog title and entry date to clear away the blog box and see the picture better.

(i.e. highlight "don't read this." and the date right underneath it)

nice. just got back from a really good weekend up north in collingwood. It's really therapeutic once in a while to just get away from the frantic pace of life in the city and relax surrounded by the subtle nuances of God's glory in nature and the relaxed state of mind it seems to bring forth.

a single day up north seems to last longer than an entire weekend here in the city. asides from being a physical reprieve (i know, it's not like my daily life is exactly a grind, but hey...i still lead a moderately urban life) it was a good weekend to reflect and meditate on issues that have been on my mind as of late.

nothing like some time to yourself and good conversation with others to get yourself to step back and see things in perspective.

anyways, pics will be up shortly (along with pics from darknights i guess since Gabe borrowed my camera, haha)

oh, and to those who sign the guestbook at the end of each imagestation album - leave your name! other viewers don't know who the signee's are (except wendy. good job wendy!). although duane mentioned richards slave mother, so that sorta gave it away. but under less specific circumstances, you can see the confusion a lack of identification could involve for all those reading it.

hehheh. richard's slave mom. no one's going to understand this except my housemates.....

happy independence day!
wait a sec....sorry. too much american tv.
anyways.

i think picking courses for the next term is always a strange experience. you get really into the classes you sign up for. almost excited about them. you spend more time trying to rearrange your schedule to get fridays off than you worry about what will be the most useful course. not to mention the pain of having your prefered courses filling up before you get a chance to sign up.

ah yes. it's all fun and games until you actually have to start school.
now that it's summer, i kinda want school to start. during the school year, i can't wait till summer, or for the school to burn to the ground.
we are a fickle species indeed.

also, i uploaded some of the pics we took at our squatters shack out in london before school ended. they're amusing. well, i think so at least.

asides from that, retreat is this weekend. hope it goes well. can't wait to see some stars and take plenty of idiotic pictures. oh, not to mention the westnile. you gotta love the westnile.

uploaded the pics from the BBQ on monday. I'll get around to posting the pics from Cam's birthday sometime later i guess. Imagestation is infinitely more user friendly than MSN was i must say. go check it out. (and ivan, you can upload the pics from the hike if you want, it's a pretty simple process)

on an unrelated note, i've watched michelle wie play her first few holes at the LPGA U.S. Open and i'm really really impressed by her. Not only is she a monster off the tee, but she's mature and confident playing among women more than twice her age. I think she'll be a great role model for little girls getting into golf, especially asian ones.

i can't get over the fact that she's 13 years old, and she's 6' tall. yeesh. the best part is, she's like.....fairly cute in the prototypical asian teen sort of way. meaning she'll probably have a lot of influence in the world of professional sports as she grows older due to her marketability. you go girl.

grandpa Du has joined the mass of the blogged! may we welcome his senile ramblings and eventual trudge towards marriage with open arms and minds.

we took some pretty stupid pictures at a bbq this past weekend. i'll post them up to imagestation when i have the time to resize them all to managable sizes. this pic is me pretending to look.....i dunno. stupid, apparently. anyways, it's been pretty fun filled these past few days. won't bore anyone with the nitty gritty details, as unless you're stalking me (and i very much doubt you are) they're likely irrelevant.

other randomness: i'm baffled by the concept of time.

who's to say i can't just start living according to my own time? that i can't make up my own measure for life that has passed. if i decided to live by a 25 hour day, who would have the right to tell me i'm living "wrongly"? i'm not conforming to the status quo, certainly. but i'm not doing anything wrong perse. i'm merely being different. difficult - but different.

so where does time come from? do we really need to standardize our schedules in order to run efficiently as a society? would anarchy ensue if time were suddenly abolished from existence? or is it a concept that was merely made tangible by the advent of numbers and counting? did early man have a concept of time? i think about our ability to "tell time" according to our internal clocks. if someone threw us onto an island or perpetual day, surely we would have trouble keeping any sort of accurate time. a sundial perhaps, but lets say...uh....the sun doesn't move (it being perpetual day and all).

were early waches merely triangles that said "light-medium dark-dark"?

if it wasn't late, i'd do a little research into this whole "time" thing.
from now on, my excuse for my chronic punctuality problem will be that i run according to my own definition of time....

"i said 3pm!"
"according to my personal time, it IS 3pm!"
"oh. well then, i'm sorry i yelled at you"
"that's ok, it's early in the morning"

i have a strange urge to go to the AGO. haven't been there since years.....ago. hehheh. i crack myself up. if only it weren't so darn expensive...