John Wayne Gacy, Jr.

i can't tell if i haven't updated yet because i have too much to say, or because i'm scared that i have nothing to say at all.



you know that feeling where you just know you learned something, but you haven't figured out what yet?

yea. that's how i feel about the trip.

i'm actually pretty sick of hearing myself talk about the trip.

but it won't be the last time, i'm sure.

Continued movement in A minor

i know that technically xanga is my trip journal (outside of my actual trip journal). but i don't really feel much like talking about where i've been as much as how i've been i guess. besides, the xanga is pretty up to date. lots of people seem to use both services, i'll join the party i suppose.

it's humid here in singapore. there is a sheen of sweat over my body despite my lack of movement. but it's a comfortable warmth, and it's relaxing here with free internet. this hostel is quite chill, with some downtempo beats in the background, and a nice setup of moodlighting. this place seems like it was furnished by ikea, with darkstained wood furniture and colourful oriental style cushions and mats adorning the floors and walls everywhere. it's chic. almost too chic. in fact, i would venture its the first hostel computer i've encountered that has itunes installed on it. blech.

some things that have been feeding the little hamster in my head lately, include friends, and purpose. not mutually exclusive topics, to be sure.

sometimes i wonder why i'm friends with....well, my friends. what is it that has brought us all together, and what is it that keeps us from simply not caring anymore?

i've been thinking a lot about church. about fellowship. about the meaning of friendships in the context of those who follow Jesus and those who chose not to. about the meanings of witnessing, evangalism, and about the dichotomoy of faith and works.

the bible says that faith without works is dead, but works without faith lead to death.
mcluhan says that the medium is the message.

i'm really starting to think that as christians, we're settling far to often and easily for living our lives around the message, while ignoring the medium.

so often i see us fall by the wayside; victims of our own poisoned rationale.

it was just one time.
things aren't so literal.
it's not a big deal.

who are we kidding ourselves?

i would rather be called out on my mistakes than try to pretend i'm something i'm not. i don't want to act like everything is good enough. settling is what leads to death, not sin. sin can be fought. sin can be defeated.

complacency is a far deadlier disease. apathy. denial.

what is a christian life? what differentiates a christian from a non-christian? should such differentiations even be made? do they really mean anything? or are they just semantics and dogmatic linearities that we are used to because we've heard them over and over again?

christians who aren't christians but say there are. too often this is me.

this is the problem with christianity today. not the forces combatting it externally. not politics, not issues, not other religions.

the problem with christianity is christians.

live it. if you don't know how to, or what that means, then i think its time you thought about it. asked about it. figured out your own definition and confirmed it with others. explore your faith.

just....please. don't stop caring.