buick to the moon

sometimes i struggle with the idea of grace.

nothing of value comes without being earned

it seems difficult for me at times to reconcile the idea of unconditional love and mercy, with the fact that i can't just rest on my laurels. that i have to earn everything i'm going to get out of life -- except life itself.

it seems like such a catch-22.

if i'm going to run the race -- to put in the hard work, discipline and effort required of me by God, then is it really.....a gift?

i'm having a hard time seeing the bigger picture. accepting the fact that what's going on here -- now -- isn't what's important at all.

sometimes it's hard to trust

and yet faith is all we have. faith in what you have experienced. faith in what you know to be true. faith in what you feel, and what you know.

all we have is faith.

faith in yourself. faith in others. faith in God.

what more is life but a test of faith?

i hope as i continue to grow, i can learn what it really means to be faithful. because it's as exciting as its ever going to be right now. everything i may be going through, i mean.

it's hard.

but it's fair.