there are certain things i've come to take for granted.
i'm going to wake up tomorrow morning.
there will be orange juice, soya milk (and for some reason recently, yop) in my fridge.
maybe it's a stretch to expect myself to take every breath as a blessing. maybe i don't know how to be anything but jaded about cliches like that, and don't (or can't) react to them practically.
alls i know is that there's no reason i should be here. no good reason at least. and yet i am.
there are some days where i go my whole waking hours without once thinking of God. about why i woke up, about why i drank that glass of oj, about why i'm going to work, or reading a book. there are entire chunks of time where i just exist.
often i wonder if that makes me a bad christian. after all, i'm not living for God. not passionately furthering His kingdom. not running the good race, or fighting the good fight. sometimes i wonder if the fact that at times i'm so content just drinking a cup of coffee that God is just shrugging his shoulders unsure of what to do with me -- kind of like rob babcock, overseeing a basketball team.
am i going to be one of those dudes that shows up in front of God and he says "who the hell are you?"
is only knowing what not to do good enough? should i know what i am suppose to be doing?
but i always end up with that sinking feeling where no matter how much i screw up, God still loves me. that's what the bible says. that's what the church says. God will love me no matter what.
i hate that about God. like, seriously. i mean, i get mad at God. i get frustrated, i get pissed. but come on. how mad can you really get at a guy who in the back of your mind you know 100% loves you all the time?
it's so frustrating.
you know that sickly feeling you get while watching the Ernest movies, or inspector gadget, where with baited breath and non-diagetic information you painfully watch the bumbling hero?
that's how i feel sometimes about my life. just one fortunate happenstance after another to such an extent that i cannot even fathom how lucky i am.
not to say that's a bad thing. not everything has gone my way. and there's lots to come that i'm probably going to regret (there's a healthy attitude eh?). but i know that on days where i wake up with a basket full of lemons, God's always there to help me make lemonade.
even if sometimes i want to kill him for it.
is that blasphemy? god i'm screwed.
christ, i cursed.
fudgscicles.
Feb 24, 2006
Feb 16, 2006
rise up with fists
canadians are a wacky bunch.
we're terrifically demanding and highly critical, and yet characteristically disposed to not getting involved. we love to say. we hate to do.
win more medals. don't whine about carrying the flag.
dominate world hockey. don't run up the scores.
what do people expect? that we crush everyone in the world with grace? that we pick a comfortable and non-offensive margin of victory and simply try and maintain it?
it doesn't take an army of sports psychologists to figure out the reason canadians tend to choke in the crunch: we're afraid to be cocky. we lack arrogance. confidance. the swager that all the best have when rising to a challenge. the belief that we are better than you.
we're not winners. we're gracious losers. and until we realize that, until we stop being sorry for who we are, we'll continue to be just that. losers.
conversely, antagonizing our best when they do perform does nothing to remedy this situation.
******
in completely unrelated news, all the talk on the forum, and the recent passing of valentines day have gotten me on the subject of dating. and i've come to a staggering conclusion regarding how women view the concept of dating.
now, maybe i'm wrong, me being a mere man and all, but allow me to theorize about that mysterious planet venus you all live on for one moment, while at the same time explaing to girls the thrill of........the NBA draft.
yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. dating for girls, and the NBA draft, are essentially the exact same game. thrilling, dissapointing, and ultimately, hit or miss and full of would have, could have, should have.
what do teams look for in potential draft picks? coachability, athleticism, work ethic, fundementals, background, experience, and perhaps most importantly -- upside.
similarly, we can break down the way girls approach men with a parllel set of catagories.
they seek the exact same quantifiable qualities -- coachability, athleticism, work ethic, fundementals, background, experience, and most importantly......UPSIDE.
sure. as that bitter asian guy site notes, girls COULD go out with the perfectly decent and providing asian engineer who has a good career and stable lifestyle.
but why do that when you could go out with the more attractive guy who -- though kind of a slacker right now -- has the potential (with your guidance naturally) to be so much more. to be smart, providing, an excellent listener, AND better looking, funnier, more adept at sports and various artistic endeavours. the whole damn package. and you can make it happen if you could just work on him.
sure, at first this idea sounds retarded. you can't shape a guy. you can't turn him into something if he naturally is not inclined for it. but this is what NBA teams do all the time.
it's the safe bet versus the gamble.
it's darko vs. melo
and every pick in the draft is made for a reason. just like every girl chooses a guy for a reason.
josh smith is the quintessential guy that girls gravitate to -- you can't be sure, but you just KNOW there's got to be something great in there. look at all that potential! he's smart but doesn't try in school. he's ludicrously well rounded but doesn't have the work ethic. he's pretty good already, but he could be so much better..... and boy is he fun to watch.
tim duncan is the all-around med student who everyone loves but is inherently boring. marry him and you won't be dissapointed, although life will be utterly predictable. boring, but ultimately, always for the best.
lebron is the phenom that comes around once every 100 years. marry him and you're probably the luckiest girl alive. he's tom brady with a PhD and gourmet catering company.
gilbert arenas is like the nerd who eventually becomes rich and suddenly hey -- turns out he's not so bad looking after all to boot.
so as we can see, girls view guys much like GM's view basketball players.
playing the game of life is not much different from drafting for an NBA team. you have to scout. you have to understand the game, and understand what your team needs. it's a dangerous game.
for every kevin garnet there's a jonathan bender. yet no team wins a championship with a lineup full of patt garrity's.
and perhaps most of all ladies, if there's one thing we've learned?
always. always take the best player available.
we're terrifically demanding and highly critical, and yet characteristically disposed to not getting involved. we love to say. we hate to do.
win more medals. don't whine about carrying the flag.
dominate world hockey. don't run up the scores.
what do people expect? that we crush everyone in the world with grace? that we pick a comfortable and non-offensive margin of victory and simply try and maintain it?
it doesn't take an army of sports psychologists to figure out the reason canadians tend to choke in the crunch: we're afraid to be cocky. we lack arrogance. confidance. the swager that all the best have when rising to a challenge. the belief that we are better than you.
we're not winners. we're gracious losers. and until we realize that, until we stop being sorry for who we are, we'll continue to be just that. losers.
conversely, antagonizing our best when they do perform does nothing to remedy this situation.
******
in completely unrelated news, all the talk on the forum, and the recent passing of valentines day have gotten me on the subject of dating. and i've come to a staggering conclusion regarding how women view the concept of dating.
now, maybe i'm wrong, me being a mere man and all, but allow me to theorize about that mysterious planet venus you all live on for one moment, while at the same time explaing to girls the thrill of........the NBA draft.
yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. dating for girls, and the NBA draft, are essentially the exact same game. thrilling, dissapointing, and ultimately, hit or miss and full of would have, could have, should have.
what do teams look for in potential draft picks? coachability, athleticism, work ethic, fundementals, background, experience, and perhaps most importantly -- upside.
similarly, we can break down the way girls approach men with a parllel set of catagories.
they seek the exact same quantifiable qualities -- coachability, athleticism, work ethic, fundementals, background, experience, and most importantly......UPSIDE.
sure. as that bitter asian guy site notes, girls COULD go out with the perfectly decent and providing asian engineer who has a good career and stable lifestyle.
but why do that when you could go out with the more attractive guy who -- though kind of a slacker right now -- has the potential (with your guidance naturally) to be so much more. to be smart, providing, an excellent listener, AND better looking, funnier, more adept at sports and various artistic endeavours. the whole damn package. and you can make it happen if you could just work on him.
sure, at first this idea sounds retarded. you can't shape a guy. you can't turn him into something if he naturally is not inclined for it. but this is what NBA teams do all the time.
it's the safe bet versus the gamble.
it's darko vs. melo
and every pick in the draft is made for a reason. just like every girl chooses a guy for a reason.
josh smith is the quintessential guy that girls gravitate to -- you can't be sure, but you just KNOW there's got to be something great in there. look at all that potential! he's smart but doesn't try in school. he's ludicrously well rounded but doesn't have the work ethic. he's pretty good already, but he could be so much better..... and boy is he fun to watch.
tim duncan is the all-around med student who everyone loves but is inherently boring. marry him and you won't be dissapointed, although life will be utterly predictable. boring, but ultimately, always for the best.
lebron is the phenom that comes around once every 100 years. marry him and you're probably the luckiest girl alive. he's tom brady with a PhD and gourmet catering company.
gilbert arenas is like the nerd who eventually becomes rich and suddenly hey -- turns out he's not so bad looking after all to boot.
so as we can see, girls view guys much like GM's view basketball players.
playing the game of life is not much different from drafting for an NBA team. you have to scout. you have to understand the game, and understand what your team needs. it's a dangerous game.
for every kevin garnet there's a jonathan bender. yet no team wins a championship with a lineup full of patt garrity's.
and perhaps most of all ladies, if there's one thing we've learned?
always. always take the best player available.
Feb 14, 2006
worms
brazilian bobsled doper
wow. that must be embarrassing on so many levels.
i'm curious -- is it just natural that gay guys go into careers like fashion and interior design, or do guys go into those careers and figure "well, i must be gay"?
also, i keep forgetting, but our favourite ming has started his own little corner of the web. it's not quite a blog, he tends to like to review stuff. as such, your personally and friends have been recruited to help him be judgmental.
www.robotichighfive.com
wow. that must be embarrassing on so many levels.
i'm curious -- is it just natural that gay guys go into careers like fashion and interior design, or do guys go into those careers and figure "well, i must be gay"?
also, i keep forgetting, but our favourite ming has started his own little corner of the web. it's not quite a blog, he tends to like to review stuff. as such, your personally and friends have been recruited to help him be judgmental.
www.robotichighfive.com
Feb 10, 2006
the fix
a lot of times, we lose sight of the big picture. i'm worried that i didn't dress warmly enough today, and almost missed the fact that the falling snow is absolutely gorgeous.
it's easy to get so immersed and focused on what we have right in front of us that we simply forget how expansive our lives are. yes, there are the small things we often miss -- yet on the other hand, there are also so many things outside of our immediate field of vision that we so often take for granted.
why do we love to limit ourselves? to paint ourselves into these little boxes and assume this box is where my life begins and ends?
it's so cliche, but everyday i feel the need to remind myself what my priorities are. to look beyond my little box and realize that there's more going on out there than just the things right in front of me.
we are so easily distracted. passion brings about focus.
what brings about passion?
it's easy to get so immersed and focused on what we have right in front of us that we simply forget how expansive our lives are. yes, there are the small things we often miss -- yet on the other hand, there are also so many things outside of our immediate field of vision that we so often take for granted.
why do we love to limit ourselves? to paint ourselves into these little boxes and assume this box is where my life begins and ends?
it's so cliche, but everyday i feel the need to remind myself what my priorities are. to look beyond my little box and realize that there's more going on out there than just the things right in front of me.
we are so easily distracted. passion brings about focus.
what brings about passion?
Feb 6, 2006
the game needed me
Implicit Association Test
it's interesting how stereotypes come to be. i would never deny that due to cultural stigma, due to media coverage, due to social acquiescence i have been programmed to think and feel a certain way.
but when we really explore how deep these stereotypes are buried, how hard they are to ignore despite our best efforts, it becomes not just interesting, but borderline disturbing.
when you realize with horror that you're having a hard time answering the questions all of a sudden, you can't stop yourself. you keep making mistakes. you can't change it. it's such a surreal feeling.
the crazy thing is, getting a "preference for white people" in an IAT doesn't mean you're a biggot -- it means you're aware of the world around you.
there is no discrimination when it comes to cultural bombardment. challenge yourself.
it's interesting how stereotypes come to be. i would never deny that due to cultural stigma, due to media coverage, due to social acquiescence i have been programmed to think and feel a certain way.
but when we really explore how deep these stereotypes are buried, how hard they are to ignore despite our best efforts, it becomes not just interesting, but borderline disturbing.
when you realize with horror that you're having a hard time answering the questions all of a sudden, you can't stop yourself. you keep making mistakes. you can't change it. it's such a surreal feeling.
the crazy thing is, getting a "preference for white people" in an IAT doesn't mean you're a biggot -- it means you're aware of the world around you.
there is no discrimination when it comes to cultural bombardment. challenge yourself.
Feb 2, 2006
only this moment
i have rediscovered a passion.
television.
it's odd how i just stopped watching tv outside of sports for the longest time, but i can't help but notice that there has been a gradual paradigm shift in the landscape of television shows, emphasising story telling over characters. things are cyclical, but i must say i find the recent wave of shows to be much more worth my time than say, friends reruns or new episodes of joey.
it's pretty clear that the sitcom has passed away. from what i can see, the best shows on tv are all one hour long. hell, even scrubs is an hour. it just seems people have realized that the amount of involvement that can be imbued on a one hour tale is worth more than twice the timeslot. good on them.
i also find that the shows i'm most interested in are all the satirical and darkly witty ones. the shows that are self-depreciating but only so far as life itself is.
well, except for project runway. that's an awesome show, but purely because of the competition and the fact that fashion designers were genetically programmed to be enjoyable characters to watch on tv.
showtime seems to have cornered the market on jaded and compelling underdog female characters that you love to root for. i can't stop watching dead like me, and weeds.
honestly, most everything that's good has already been done. even scrubs is sort of just my new version of undergrads, which in turn was sort of my new version of growing pains meets saved by the bell meets the wonder years.
but weeds....is original. it's outrageous, but real enough that you believe the characters, because they're so...human. also, the premise is awesome. they couldn't have screwed this show up if they tried, but as it is.....best....show.....ever.
i hear lost and battlestar galactica are good too, but there probably isn't enough sexual content in those shows to keep me interested. for example, it helps that the main character in weeds is ridiculously good looking. she plays a mother of two, but who cares. yummmm
yea, i said it. what? what?
television.
it's odd how i just stopped watching tv outside of sports for the longest time, but i can't help but notice that there has been a gradual paradigm shift in the landscape of television shows, emphasising story telling over characters. things are cyclical, but i must say i find the recent wave of shows to be much more worth my time than say, friends reruns or new episodes of joey.
it's pretty clear that the sitcom has passed away. from what i can see, the best shows on tv are all one hour long. hell, even scrubs is an hour. it just seems people have realized that the amount of involvement that can be imbued on a one hour tale is worth more than twice the timeslot. good on them.
i also find that the shows i'm most interested in are all the satirical and darkly witty ones. the shows that are self-depreciating but only so far as life itself is.
well, except for project runway. that's an awesome show, but purely because of the competition and the fact that fashion designers were genetically programmed to be enjoyable characters to watch on tv.
showtime seems to have cornered the market on jaded and compelling underdog female characters that you love to root for. i can't stop watching dead like me, and weeds.
honestly, most everything that's good has already been done. even scrubs is sort of just my new version of undergrads, which in turn was sort of my new version of growing pains meets saved by the bell meets the wonder years.
but weeds....is original. it's outrageous, but real enough that you believe the characters, because they're so...human. also, the premise is awesome. they couldn't have screwed this show up if they tried, but as it is.....best....show.....ever.
i hear lost and battlestar galactica are good too, but there probably isn't enough sexual content in those shows to keep me interested. for example, it helps that the main character in weeds is ridiculously good looking. she plays a mother of two, but who cares. yummmm
yea, i said it. what? what?
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