Jan 4, 2008

dang it.

regardless of where you're playing basketball with strangers, be it at a chinese church, an inner city YMCA, or a jewish community centre, there will always be archetypical pickup basketballers.

my absolute least favourite is the "coach on the floor". if you've ever played pickup basketball, than you know exactly who i'm talking about. this guy is usually short, not particularly talented, and has a mouth that just doesn't know how to shutup. 

he's the guy who bosses people around, screaming things like "stay low!" or "rebound!", while standing somewhere and not doing anything. 

conversely, the typical offensive possession for the "coach on the floor" is for him to stand under the net and frantically demand that he receive the inbound pass and bring it up court (because naturally, he is the best point guard on the team), dribble the ball for several minutes at the top of the key looking frustrated as he seems to think his team is incompetent while the rest of his team run screens and get astonishingly open to no avail. 

ultimately, the "coach on the floor" will usually end up driving into traffic and throwing up a ridiculous circus shot that ends up being either an airball (nine times out of ten), or a miraculous fluke (one out of ten), after without fail, he will simply backpedal while screaming at his team to get back and play defense as if he's bob knight. usually, "coach on the floor" is also a defensive liability who tends to just foul people a lot. 

i find in general, i am wary of people who claim to be experts on everything. because honestly, unless you have a PhD, most of us are really experts at nothing. and even those of us who like to think ourselves experts in somethings, are usually not very good judges of our own expertise. 

1 comment:

Steph said...

After reading this post one annoying name keeps popping into my head... I'll give you a clue, hes not on the team but keeps showing up to every game i swear just to annoy people, why cant he just not talk?