Aug 24, 2004

canada's leading cuba in olympic baseball into the 6th....

on any note, i was wondering about the subjectivity of maturity.

yea, it's a slow day at work.

regardless, i wonder sometimes: what exactly is mature? what does it mean to be mature? act mature? look mature?

i mean this pertaining to people of course, not say -- a stock or a bond.

the definition would be...

    1. Having reached full natural growth or development: a mature cell.
    2. Having reached a desired or final condition; ripe: a mature cheese.
  1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of full development, either mental or physical: mature for her age.
    1. Suitable or intended for adults: mature subject matter.
    2. Composed of adults: a mature audience.
so, basically...is it saying maturity in a person is when they become fully adult? what does that even mean?

sometimes, i think it's obvious when someone acts mature, or conversely, acts very immature. but sometimes, i think we don't even notice our own nuances. calling someone immature can be such a contrived and hypcritical judgment, yet at the same time it can simply be an observation that's clear as day.

i guess we're sorta treading back into that whole judging thing, but this is more just along the lines of what the heck it means to be mature?

do you consider yourself mature? if not, who do you consider mature? if you do consider yourself mature, by what basis are you drawing your opinion and conclusion?

personally, i think i'm starting to veer on the more grown up side of the line. when i was young, i had no idea what i should be doing, why, and how.

right now, i'm at the point where i know what i should be doing, but often i fail to live up to the standards i set or that have been set for me.

i think true maturity for me -- and others as well, in my opinion -- is when you know what you should/have to do, and you just do it.

that's my definition of maturity. regardless of it involving making a sacrifice, sucking up your pride, hurting your selfish desires -- if you know deep down it's what you should do, or whats best for you or those you care for -- then you do it. no whining, no questions, no procrastination.

i'm not there yet. but i'm truckin'

now back to watching the olympics.

sometimes, work can be no different from home, haha

Aug 18, 2004

like sands through an hour glass.....

first things first:

1) episodes of call for help are being made available as they air via bittorrent.
2) search www.suprnova.org for "cfh" and you should find the first few epsiodes that have aired
3) watch and be amused.

moving on to the actual post....

you know, there was actually a period of time (about 5 summers ago) where i actually watched "days" pretty much every day. why? because on the show, some girl was possessed by the devil or something and i started watching out of of morbid curiosity.

then....for some reason, i couldn't stop.

well, i could, but whenever i had nothing better to do, i would settle down in front of the tv in the afternoons......

anyways, i guess sometimes i wonder if despite all the wailing about how life imitates art and the cultural connotations of this within our post-modern society, part of me still likes to think that soap operas are nothing more than a microcosm of the human psyche.

maybe not even the psyche, maybe just part of it -- the id maybe? or the superego? i don't remember this crap.

so often life seems like nothing but a charade. we have our drama, we have our characters in our lives who leave, who come through. who are important to certain story lines but only marginally so later on.

then there are characters which you would consider the stars, and the co-stars.

the star -- naturally -- is yourself. i mean, it's your own life for goodness sake. but....who are your co-stars? who are the characters in your life that make or break the success of the series? who define the show just as much as the star, creating an aura of energy, dynamic, and excitement?

so many people have moved away this summer. some of them back home, some of them for a temporary time, and some for a more indefinate sort of situation. i can't say i've ever experienced anything like this before. but rest assured my fellow co-stars -- you know who you are -- the series will continue to skyrocket in popularity, reaching new heights only because of the dilligence and value of your individual contributions to this pastiche i call....me.

you guys are all awesome.

of course finally and specifically, to my childhood friend, my st.tims buddy, and mad hook up for contacts and eye exams -- you're going to have an amazing year. write often, pray hard, play hard, and remember that you -- you! -- are fearfully and wonderfully made. praise the Lord, because you're a blessing, and immeasurably blessed. thanks for everything, and i hope you make memories that only exceed our own as you venture out on this new phase of your life.

but of course.....you'll bring stories of those memories back for us. eventually.

bye.








Aug 16, 2004

why can't i sleep?

have you ever noticed that when you have lots to rant and ramble about, you never have the time to do it?

then when you finally have some free time, you don't feel like going off anymore?

so much to say....so much to say. people leaving, people moving on. friends, summer, phases, God, love, everything.....just, so much to say.

and yet.....i need to sleep. maybe i'll blog at work....



on an unrelated note: just a reminder, call for help premiers tomorrow night (tonight actually!) on G4techTV!


Aug 14, 2004

we won!! we actually won!!

2-7 baby.

and the best two wins i've ever had the opportunity to be part of.

thanks guys!!

one more game to go.....who wants ice cream??

Aug 12, 2004

water cooler talk

so i'm at work right now and i'm starting to see how people could go mad doing the same thing everyday. i mean heck -- i have a fun job and even this gets tedious every once in a while. i just sit here surfing the net. it sounds fun, but i'd much rather be spending my time elsewhere since i'm only really working like, every other hour. we're basically on-demand helpers, haha

just realising that some people work from 9-5 without fail, doing something much more stressfull, with less obvious results, no gratitude and absolutely no appreciation for their work.....i dunno. i think i'd go nuts. i don't know how anyone could ever sit in a cubicle day after day hammering away at their keyboard crunching numbers or writing pages of crap they could care less about.

why? why woud you damn yourself to doing something you hate?

i enjoy coming in -- especially cuz i get to come in at 11am -- but also because it's fun around here, and i get to learn new things and have cool job perks that i can take home.

but man. i've decided there's NO way i could do a job i didn't enjoy or care about. a job that's just going through motions. i'd much rather be doing something i want for free then getting paid a crapload of money to let my soul whither away and die.

Aug 11, 2004

i believe this is called a "teaser"

so work let me snag and install a copy of photoshop elements today. i'm SOOOOOO HAPPY. i've missed having photoshop so much, and it's really limited my creative juices and ability to jazz up the site.

so rest assured that now i have ps back, i will be updating the site. slowly but surely, prepare yourselves for.........

um. stuff.

Aug 10, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE!!

um. that title is self-explanatory.

hope you have lots of fun today and eat lots of food and get lots of gifts and laugh lots of.....laughs, haha


Aug 6, 2004

call for help 2.0 cameo appearance

so while shooting one of today's episodes, i happened to help solve one of the viewer questions at the laaast possible minute of the show that leo, andy, and the rest of us had been feverishly trying to figure out. it wasn't a difficult query, but simply one that had a convoluted and roundabout solution that was difficult to pinpoint. (thats windows for you huh?).

anyways, just saying that on top of getting to see me in the credits, for one episode at least, you'll get to see.....ME at the end during the closing segment. they're thanking and cheering me for finding the answer, and i'm....well....scared of cameras. so yea, that was fun, and kind of exciting. one more day of shooting, and my experience with television studios will be over. it's been a total learning experience.

anyways, now that the frivolousness is done, lets get on to today's (tonights) rant shall we?

lets travel for a second to....hypothetical land....where anything can and will happen.

say in hypoland, someone walks up to you and randomly says "you know, you're an excellent judge of character".

about five minutes later, a different random person walks up and then says to you "hey -- you have a tendency to make assumptions about people. you're judgmental".

nooooow.....my question is: why is one different from the other? why is judging character a skill, and being judgmental a weakness?

what's the difference really? judging character is based on observing somebody's behaviour, actions, words, mannerisms, past history -- then forming your personal conclusion about them. now...to me at least, that sounds absolutely no different from simply being judgmental. the only difference seems to be that when your assumed conclusion is positive (i.e. that billy sure is a good kid), you're judging character. when you reach a negative conclusion however (i.e. that billy is just a straight up punk), you're suddenly being judgmental.

so basically, it's good to judge someone as good, but bad to judge someone as bad.

MEANING, we can only have positive conclusions and opinions about people if we're going to be civil and polite people? apparently ettiquite and rational thinking don't go hand in hand.

is it wrong to judge? i mean....we all do it, lets not kid ourselves. but is it "bad"? is judging a book by its cover ever applied when you have a "good feeling" about someone? or do we only break out that cliched phrase when we're trying to not hurt someones feelings?

i personally think we have our critical and analytical instincts for a reason. to ignore them and choose naiveity instead of observation and reason makes no sense to me. hell -- forget observation, i think sometimes you just have to go with your gut no matter what people say or frown upon your thought process.

the bible says its bad to judge. i think it'd be stupid NOT to judge, because we can't avoid it, so we might as well not beat around the bush and simply be honest about it.

i dunno. is there a conflict of interest? am i looking at a splinter when there's a plank in my eye?

or am i simply confusing the biblical definition of "judging" with my personal idea of reality?

Aug 4, 2004

a thousand words

put up some long overdue pictures:

- Charity Ball (waaaaay late)
- Old Mill
- Dora's farewell party

if anyone actually GETS G4TechTV, let me know. i might ask you to record some episodes of the show for me when they air.

till then, shooting all this week. i wish i had more hours to sleep....