Apr 20, 2006

on marriage

so in about one months time, me and two female companions will be jetting off to europe for a month of eating and sleeping. mostly eating.

upon realizing that i would be travelling with two chicks, my parents (after i had already told them, and bought my tickets, and had several planning sessions at my house) suddenly had a panic attack about my spending all that time cooped up in close quarters with two girls.

after crying, throwing up, and taking a long cold shower, i responded to their fears in my typically calm and soothing manner. i assured them i wouldn't knock up my female friends (apparently this is a common problem to them), and that i would not return with a porno moustache and a membership card from the international youth orgy club. i then proceeded to rip my eyes out of my head in an attempt to quell the vicious tide of nausea.

i did however manage to leave open the door for me to knock up a random stranger in europe -- that circumstance did not seem to be as feasible a scenario in my parents minds.

i have yet to decide if that is insulting.

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