manatee destiny

it's funny that winter is considered the darker season of the year. it's true that night falls earlier during the colder months, but the truth is that when it's overcast and there's a sheen of white snow on the ground, there's enough light pollution bouncing around everywhere that even without the moon anywhere to be seen, 3am can seem just as well lit as 3pm. that's the case tonight. 

with the lights off, my room is still lit up from the light outside, as if the black itself had been sucked out of the sky and replaced with a dull orange-grey hue that leaves one unsatisfied with the current presentation of "night time", or whatever you want to call this non-black night. 

it's a weird light though, because outside isn't what i would really call lit up, or bright. its more night time defined not by darkness but merely by an absence of lightness, if that makes any sense. i find it very curious, and for some reason a little unsettling, as if i'm sleeping under the amber glow of some giant highway street light circa mid nineteen nineties, before white lights became all the rage, and orange light was the cool way to tint our after hours worlds. 

it's just not dark out, i don't know why i've been so obsessed over this the past few nights, but i find that it really bugs me. i wish the dark would just return. then maybe i could sleep again.