the coast is always changing

i normally don't make a habit of posting pictures of my underwear for the world to see, but this is truly a case worthy of encyclopedia brown (and trusty old sally, the brawn behind the brains). we'll call it: the case of the destroyed drawers.

this morning when i put this pair of boxers on, they were perfectly normal. i did nothing out of the ordinary in the morning and afternoon, some sitting, some standing, some walking around the house. in the evening, i went to play basketball for about 3 hours straight. i do feel compelled to note that the gym was insanely humid -- as in, we had to wipe the floor down a few times to keep the condensation (and twisted, mangled body parts) at bay. it was a long run, i didn't sit at all during those three hours.

upon returning home, i proceeded to take a well deserved shower. as i disrobed however, i noticed that my underwear had for some reason transformed from normal boxer shorts, into the textile equivalent of the black guy in a freddy kreuger movie.

how did this happen? was the friction from my muscular (and frankly, greek god-like) legs simply too much for the fabric to handle? was the humidity and sweat combined simply a recipe for material disaster?

encyclopedia closed his eyes for a minute, as he always did when pondering his most difficult cases.

"put those questions away yau. it's clear that the reason those shorts are ripped is because...."

turn to page 76 for the answer to: the case of the destroyed drawers.