is it possible to have had a simultaneously productive, and yet unproductive week? many awesome things, yet not some simple things that i promised myself i'd get done.
also, i should be asleep now, and yet i'm awake early on a saturday morning. painfully early.
illuminate was good times. much fun was had and i'm so blessed to have a church full of talented and open hearted young people. i learn so much more than i am willing to admit from them, and i'm starting to feel like i have a purpose for being home -- for having this burden to help them grow and mature in ways that i did, and so much more. church is exciting again, and that in itself is amazing to me.
church is encouraging. personally, i have seen better days.
i often think about whether being in a cave is a bad thing. i've heard the cliches, that God does good work in caves, that we can't always be on the mountain top.
my worry is that i'm using this rationale to dwell in the cave when God is actually calling me out of it. that perhaps i am using struggle as an excuse to not strive for more. it's the wrong kind of struggle right now -- its not the passionate struggle to find His will. it's more simply a struggle to give a damn at all.
i pray not just for discipline, but to thirst for discipline.
not just to show love in action, but to know intimately what love truly is.
such a thin line. such a huge difference.
No comments:
Post a Comment