Don't get the wrong idea

I have been watching several of those makeup tutorial videos on youtube.

What began as an innocent foray into looking for attractive girls has taken a decidedly frightening turn.

I noticed recently that these makeup videos are increasing in both popularity and volume. Many of the most viewed videos every day are titled things like "Perfect lashes!", "Makeup for glasses!" or the ever popular and direct "Fresh 5 minute makeup routine".

One of these chicks in particular (Ricebunny, if you must make me say it) is particularly adept at video production, meaning although I have no idea what the hell she's doing or saying, I still find these clips somewhat interesting to watch.

Now, a reminder per today's theme: don't get me wrong.

The first, most important, and last reason I watched this video was because the thumbnail image for this video features this Ricebunny girl, and she is looking stab-my-friends-in-the-heart slamming.

She does this thing where she shows the final "look" first, then takes you through all the steps it took to get there.

Here is where things get weird.

Chalk it up to naivety and male ignorance, but I was absurdly disappointed (and impressed) to find that, without makeup, this girl is utterly, completely, absolutely average looking. She is a six, on her best of best days.

With makeup?

Nine. Perhaps a nine point one, depending on the tutorial (Personally, I am fond of "Romantic Valentine").

I didn't realize makeup could do this.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I understood the powers of makeup. I clearly just underestimated it. I thought at best, it could turn a 6 into a solid 8. But into a nine plus?

What can I trust in this world?? My life is topsy turvy.

Also, I now know more than I ever wished to know about applying mascara. Perhaps one day this will be useful. I am skeptical.

*****

I do not watch the Bachelor.

However, after seeing it completely dominate my RSS feeds today, I grudgingly clicked to see what all the kerfufle was about.

I must say, fake or not, if I was a fan of that show it would automatically be possibly the greatest reality television moment in history. I realize this is like saying I am the best mathematician in a prenatal ward, but it still was pretty awesome.

Whether or not this was actually real or completely scripted (or just 98 per-cent-scripted-real, like the Hills) watching the Bachelor dump his fiancee for the runner up was one of the most engrossing things I have ever seen. If it wasn't real, those actors should definitely be up for daytime Emmys -- I have never seen male awkwardness captured on film so accurately.

So Kudos to the producers of the Bachelor. You don't produce reality, but for one shining night, you crafted a show that presented the most recognizable of romantic train wrecks; one every man everywhere can empathize with.

Hats off.