Wanted: Taxidermist who watches a lot of Kung Fu
I am looking to hire someone with the means to obtain and stuff animals in fashions I choose, which will be Kung Fu for now. When I was younger I convinced a friend of mines dad to create two squirrels Kung Fu fighting. I still think about it from time to time and have decided to get my own Kung Fu animals, I understand this is a bizarre request. Serious inquiries only, please E-Mail me the species of animals you commonly hunt or can obtain and your rate for taxidermy of each in various Kung Fu poses. Mounting preferred. Once again I feel I must state this is serious. If you can show any of your previous work it will probably give you an edge on the competition. Please respond via/e-mail. Thank you.
Daughter getting morning after pill at RiteAid - m4w
Looking for the daughter half that was in Rite Aid with her mother (I assume) getting the morning after pill today in Finksburg. You had an amazing body and I would love to be the next reason you have to get another dose of said pill! Hit me up if you're looking for another go round.
hot homeless guy with beard and shaggy hair
you're young, hot, and homeless. you look to be about 20-25. you have brownish red shaggy hair and a nice beard. i could tell you were homeless because you were eating chips off the ground and you had urine soaked filthy pants on. i've always had a thing for the "starving artist" types and your homeless ruggedness is hot. i have seen you sleeping in one of the bus stops near public square. if you ever steal a laptop or break into a library or someone's home to use their computer, i hope you read this. ~Brittany R.
$30/hour: Personal Introduction Assistant / "wingwoman"
We have an opening for a part-time personal introduction assistant, aka a "wingwoman."
You must be classy and dress well.
Beyond that you must be able to do 4 things: 1) start conversations with beautiful women; 2) after that, remain totally silent, unless spoken directly to, but smile and look friendly while the man you are "winging" orchestrates the social situation; 3) socialize and block any man or woman attempting to interfere with the man you are winging and any woman he is chatting with; and 4) end any conversation you are having instantly at the direction of the man you are winging. These requirements are essential, not for everyone, and difficult to do well.
Now, this is a job (that's why you get paid), but it's very fun, and you may even make new friends, or even meet someone special, if it doesn't interfere with your primary employment purpose.
This job is not for you if you are uptight, frumpy, grumpy, shy, a man-hater, a debbie downer, a critic, a control freak, a pouter, a therapist, researching, writing an article, with the press, a prostitute, an escort, a relationship counselor, or a feminist with a bone to pick. Gack.
You must be 18, usually 21 for the events we attend. All work is in public at cocktail parties, charity benefits, museum openings, and the like. You will be added to any list in advance, and any fees for the event will be paid. You are responsible for transportion. Subways are $2. Although many events have free food and drink, this isn't dating, so don't ask to be bought anything. If you do ask, by mistake, don't be grumpy and bring the mood down when the answer is a polite no, or you will be paid for the time you have spent and politely sent packing.
This job is definitely for you if you are easygoing, classy, dress extremely well, and enjoy many, varied, and sometimes challenging social situations.
Our roster of full-time wingwomen is full, but we do have a part-time opening. Yes we are serious. Yes we are real. You might even have the time of your life.
Fan mail, hate mail, and non-responsive replies will not receive answers, so save us both the time and don't bother.
Please respond with a photo and contact information to the craigslist email in this ad. Thank you for your time.
Compensation: $30/hour
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
I was taking a dump in the unisex restroom. - m4w
I was taking a dump in the unisex restroom at conco. And forgot to lock the door. You opened the door and said "O GOD!" and shut the door. But before you said O GOD! I felt like we had a moment. I hurried and wiped. Pulled up my pants and opend the door. And you were gone. now the door to my heart is unlocked.
girlfriend forcing sale
Girlfriend said she is tired of my mustang parts and I need to make a craigslist ad...so here is it
for sale
1 nagging dream smashing man hater
make an offer or look in the free section if she keeps it up and gets kicked to the curb
3 comments:
those are hilarious.
This would have been cooler if that picture of Craigslist Toronto was hyperlinked to Craigslist Toronto.
-d
that was awesome.
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