he would often sit at his desk late into the night, trying to distract himself from the rush of darkness seeping into his mind. webpages, video games, books, music, friendly small talk through instant-messaging. all as a means to try and keep the fear at bay -- the dense fog that inevitably would consume him regardless of how he was feeling that day.
it was as if the night stripped him of his own dellusions, reflecting only the barest realities. truth and secrets that during the day were kept buried deep inside, safe from the sun and anything the sun could touch.
no, the darkness inside him was where the truth would hide. and at night, when the sun went to bed and night spread over the world, the secrets inside would be free to come out. the truth would roam free, weighing down the cold air in his room that he was filling his lungs with.
and like someone caught under an avalanche, he was unable to move, to see, to get up or out from under this incredible weight. he was defenseless.
without even the freedom to breath, every moment of the dark and cold night became a struggle to survive. a fight to live.
he could barely make out the shapes and outlines of his room as the world began to fade away, replaced by guilt, hate, remorse, regret, and all the other emotions that human beings hide away in their darkest places -- as far from the sun as possible.
he put his head in his hands, slumped over with his eyes closed. defeated.
for despite all that he felt, he knew as he was fading away that he was not being taken from the world. instead, he was walking away, by his own conscious will. by his own volition.
he wanted to disappear. and it was himself, not the room around him, that was starting to concede to his own futility.
the outlines were getting more vague as the projection of reality began to recede around him. it was as if he was walking backwards through the history of film.
things were becoming grainy, outlines became blobs became concepts. was this the golden age?
colours drained away, replaced by the soft glow of black and white hues (his own existence glowing a dull grey. how appropriate). perhaps pre-technicolor?
the world began to slow to a stop. it was coming in jilted series now, and fluidity ceased to exist. life became a series of snapshots, and a lone voice permeated what once was the white noise of consciousness. could we now be in the talkies?
then the slideshow began to slow down. gradually, taking excruciatingly longer than it should, the pictures began to grind to a halt, each one starting to stay long enough that he could almost make out the scene...
it was so familiar.
if he could just recognize what he was seeing. it was at the tip of his tounge. he could almost see it in his mind....
it was so familiar.....
so familiar....
so...
....familiar......................................................................
...................................................................................
..........
you ever notice how the more attention you pay to a word, the more wrong it seems to look?
english is funny like that.
Oct 18, 2005
Oct 14, 2005
none but shining hours
with all the time we spend on the internet, i think i have safely come to the conclusion that our internet bookmarks reveal just as much about us as our clothes and language.
so...outside of email and perhaps your own website (if applicable), what are your top five favourite sites?
for me, it's pretty simple. in order of visits per day my top five websites are:
5) www.Gizmodo.com - it's like cnet. but funny.
4) www.Mocoloco.com - gizmodo's artsy sister.
3) www.stylusmagazine.com - a music site thats not pretentious.
2) www.ESPN.com - essential for breaking news and updates.
1) www.niketalk.com - i check it compulsively. really, it's sick.
naturally, these are not the only sites i visit. but they are my favourites of each genre. various tech sites, design, music, sports and shoes....not to mention cars and real news, and yadda yadda yadda.
of course the sites i visit most are other people pages. blogs, xangas, live journals and all that crap. if quantity is in any way associated with priority, i suppose that means you're all more important to me than the fact that the j.kidds are back and on NikeID no less.
trust me -- that's more special than you know.
mmm...zoom flight fives......
so...outside of email and perhaps your own website (if applicable), what are your top five favourite sites?
for me, it's pretty simple. in order of visits per day my top five websites are:
5) www.Gizmodo.com - it's like cnet. but funny.
4) www.Mocoloco.com - gizmodo's artsy sister.
3) www.stylusmagazine.com - a music site thats not pretentious.
2) www.ESPN.com - essential for breaking news and updates.
1) www.niketalk.com - i check it compulsively. really, it's sick.
naturally, these are not the only sites i visit. but they are my favourites of each genre. various tech sites, design, music, sports and shoes....not to mention cars and real news, and yadda yadda yadda.
of course the sites i visit most are other people pages. blogs, xangas, live journals and all that crap. if quantity is in any way associated with priority, i suppose that means you're all more important to me than the fact that the j.kidds are back and on NikeID no less.
trust me -- that's more special than you know.
mmm...zoom flight fives......
Oct 10, 2005
cream and bastards rise
i normally ignore these xanga/blogger disease like chain letter posts, but because its from dora and she never talks to me otherwise (oh snap!) i'll appease her.
rules of the game: post 5 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. also leave a post on their xanga/blogspot to let these people know.
1) i'll put on socks even if i'm not going out. i just like wearing socks. they keep my feet warm and clean.
2) when i was younger, i used to hang out with a bunch of girls. and when i mean a group of girls, i mean i have been to parties where i am literally the only dude. it's a mixed experience at best.
3) i once read an entire book while on the toilet. like, a novel. my legs were pretty numb afterwards.
4) i hate eating with my hands if it will be messy. even things like shellfish or chicken wings, i'll use a fork because i don't like getting my hands dirty.
5) i have to squeeze toothpaste from the end. if i find that someone has used it and squeezed from the middle, i will meticulously squeeze it from the end until it is neat and all up at the front again.
now i think i spam five more people. i'm too lazy to actually go toy our sites, so i'm going to choose people who read my blog fairly often.
red rover red rover, i call herb, irene, ivan, dustin and cam over.
rules of the game: post 5 weird and random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. also leave a post on their xanga/blogspot to let these people know.
1) i'll put on socks even if i'm not going out. i just like wearing socks. they keep my feet warm and clean.
2) when i was younger, i used to hang out with a bunch of girls. and when i mean a group of girls, i mean i have been to parties where i am literally the only dude. it's a mixed experience at best.
3) i once read an entire book while on the toilet. like, a novel. my legs were pretty numb afterwards.
4) i hate eating with my hands if it will be messy. even things like shellfish or chicken wings, i'll use a fork because i don't like getting my hands dirty.
5) i have to squeeze toothpaste from the end. if i find that someone has used it and squeezed from the middle, i will meticulously squeeze it from the end until it is neat and all up at the front again.
now i think i spam five more people. i'm too lazy to actually go toy our sites, so i'm going to choose people who read my blog fairly often.
red rover red rover, i call herb, irene, ivan, dustin and cam over.
Oct 4, 2005
it's all gonna break
my car is my fortress of solitude.
i prefer sandwiches with the crusts left on (and cut diagonally of course).
autumn is my favourite season.
don't you love when things come in threes?
i prefer sandwiches with the crusts left on (and cut diagonally of course).
autumn is my favourite season.
don't you love when things come in threes?
Oct 1, 2005
in the beginning
The Call of Jeremiah
4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.
no excuses.
just trust.
4 The word of the LORD came to me, saying,
5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew [a] you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."
6 "Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child."
7 But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. 8 Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.
9 Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.
no excuses.
just trust.
Sep 27, 2005
powers
so in another idea born of boredom, who would be interested in having people buy them clothes?
here's the pitch:
everyone meets together early afternoon, and we each pull a name out of a hat.
the mission is then to buy an outfit for that person, on a preset reasonable budget. reunite for dinner, enjoy new clothes and have a good laugh. to further make things interesting, maybe guys should shop for girls and vice versa.
anyone wanna do it?
i've been watching way too much TLC.
here's the pitch:
everyone meets together early afternoon, and we each pull a name out of a hat.
the mission is then to buy an outfit for that person, on a preset reasonable budget. reunite for dinner, enjoy new clothes and have a good laugh. to further make things interesting, maybe guys should shop for girls and vice versa.
anyone wanna do it?
i've been watching way too much TLC.
Sep 22, 2005
every time it just gets harder to say i'm sorry
feels like i'm losing all my heartfelt sincerity
these empty apologies are slowly killing me
how much longer must i wait before you take this weight?
i'm on my knees, begging you to save me
can i believe, in love enough to change me?
from highest highs to lowest lows, theres only down to go, it seems,
so far from giving you my all, as if i know i'll fall
i'm just so scared that one more time could be my last
that i'd exhaust your grace, that i would make, finally, my last mistake
and now i find i'm here again, nothing left to try, i'm spent
empty boxes, warring feelings, tears are shed up to the ceiling
played again on constant repeat, songs, and words, i long for your sweet
voice again, to reassure me, you've forgiven me completely
why do you take me back again, and again again again....
feels like i'm losing all my heartfelt sincerity
these empty apologies are slowly killing me
how much longer must i wait before you take this weight?
i'm on my knees, begging you to save me
can i believe, in love enough to change me?
from highest highs to lowest lows, theres only down to go, it seems,
so far from giving you my all, as if i know i'll fall
i'm just so scared that one more time could be my last
that i'd exhaust your grace, that i would make, finally, my last mistake
and now i find i'm here again, nothing left to try, i'm spent
empty boxes, warring feelings, tears are shed up to the ceiling
played again on constant repeat, songs, and words, i long for your sweet
voice again, to reassure me, you've forgiven me completely
why do you take me back again, and again again again....
Sep 21, 2005
you are a runner and i am my father's son
i really enjoyed this article from stylus.com
soulseeking
i can totally relate to it, and i think it makes some excellent observations. things we all recognize but are too busy to stop and question.
true -- the ultimate message in the end may be "stop and smell the roses". but hey, sometimes the best advice is the cliched kind.
soulseeking
i can totally relate to it, and i think it makes some excellent observations. things we all recognize but are too busy to stop and question.
true -- the ultimate message in the end may be "stop and smell the roses". but hey, sometimes the best advice is the cliched kind.
Sep 19, 2005
chromakey dreamcoat
The Perry Bible Fellowship
i haven't laughed this hard at a comic strip in a long...long time. some samples:
i haven't laughed this hard at a comic strip in a long...long time. some samples:
Sep 18, 2005
grounds for divorce
seems like my laundry list of things-to-do is starting to pile up. i always do this.
in particular, i have a lot of emails to catch up on. to anyone who's written me recently, i'm sorry i haven't written back yet. as mechanical and imperfect a means of communication email may be, i realize that in many ways its the only way i'm going to be able to keep in touch with a lot of amazing people. i'm working on it. i wish i was better, but trust me. i'm working on it.
i've been thinking a lot lately about promises. one of my favourite quotes about promises is by that loveable guy jack handy.
It's funny how two simple words, "I promise," will stall people for a while.
why are promises so important to us? is it a cultural thing? or a human thing? certainly it's universal, because as far as i know promises exist in every nation. it's such a simple concept, and yet such a difficult intangible. and although it's a stupid joke, the above quote is so true. those two words really do invoke a sense of hope, of belief in us that belies our cynical and jaded natures. do you find however, that we prioritize our promises according to who we've promised?
doesn't a promise seem less concrete if we're only promising something to ourselves? after all, who knows if you were to break it. only you.
what about promises to god? same thing i guess. sure, god knows too. but god knows everything, when has that ever stopped us?
promises to other people are the big one though. because those have actual consequences. when we don't come through for someone else....there's no running from failure.
what does it say about our character when we change our definitions of a promise depending on the circumstances? when we cut corners when no one's looking?
i'm guilty of making my share of promises that i couildn't keep. and there's no worse feeling in the world. something about letting people down, but not only that. knowing that in breaking a promise, you're letting yourself down too.
but maybe that's all growing up is. learning when to make a promise you can keep, and knowing when to be honest with yourself. saying what you really mean, and meaning what you say.
on the bright side, i randomly grabbed some junk mail for my afternoon toilet break. i don't know what the hymn sounds like, but as with most hymns, i only wish lyrics today spoke a fraction of the volumes those old stiffs could put to paper. simply gorgeous.
Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Thro' eternal ages let His praises ring;
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
List'ning ev'ry moment to the Spirit's call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.
~r. kelso carter
in particular, i have a lot of emails to catch up on. to anyone who's written me recently, i'm sorry i haven't written back yet. as mechanical and imperfect a means of communication email may be, i realize that in many ways its the only way i'm going to be able to keep in touch with a lot of amazing people. i'm working on it. i wish i was better, but trust me. i'm working on it.
i've been thinking a lot lately about promises. one of my favourite quotes about promises is by that loveable guy jack handy.
It's funny how two simple words, "I promise," will stall people for a while.
why are promises so important to us? is it a cultural thing? or a human thing? certainly it's universal, because as far as i know promises exist in every nation. it's such a simple concept, and yet such a difficult intangible. and although it's a stupid joke, the above quote is so true. those two words really do invoke a sense of hope, of belief in us that belies our cynical and jaded natures. do you find however, that we prioritize our promises according to who we've promised?
doesn't a promise seem less concrete if we're only promising something to ourselves? after all, who knows if you were to break it. only you.
what about promises to god? same thing i guess. sure, god knows too. but god knows everything, when has that ever stopped us?
promises to other people are the big one though. because those have actual consequences. when we don't come through for someone else....there's no running from failure.
what does it say about our character when we change our definitions of a promise depending on the circumstances? when we cut corners when no one's looking?
i'm guilty of making my share of promises that i couildn't keep. and there's no worse feeling in the world. something about letting people down, but not only that. knowing that in breaking a promise, you're letting yourself down too.
but maybe that's all growing up is. learning when to make a promise you can keep, and knowing when to be honest with yourself. saying what you really mean, and meaning what you say.
on the bright side, i randomly grabbed some junk mail for my afternoon toilet break. i don't know what the hymn sounds like, but as with most hymns, i only wish lyrics today spoke a fraction of the volumes those old stiffs could put to paper. simply gorgeous.
Standing on the promises of Christ my King,
Thro' eternal ages let His praises ring;
Glory in the highest, I will shout and sing,
Standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises that cannot fail,
When the howling storms of doubt assail,
By the living Word of God I shall prevail,
Standing on the promises of God.
Standing on the promises I cannot fall,
List'ning ev'ry moment to the Spirit's call,
Resting in my Savior as my all in all,
Standing on the promises of God.
~r. kelso carter
Sep 16, 2005
Sep 13, 2005
perfect speed
back from the bloc party show, and i must say i was impressed.
they sounded a lot tighter than i expected, and didn't lack at all for energy. the venue kind of blew (the docks) due to the horrible acoustics there, but the crowd was into it. asides from some pushing and shoving in good fun, i must say all in all, it was a kickass show. i'd for sure catch them again.
i caved and bought the cd. i'm a sucker for supporting bands, i don't know what it is. i would have bought the k'naan cd at the ryerson frosh concert too if i had any cash on me. goodness i'm broke.
i'm trying to decide what colour to paint my room. i'm leaning towards greys and blues, or maybe even a combination of both. i also kind of want to paint my ceiling, but i don't know if that's a good idea.....we'll see.
my goal for the week is to not spend any money. from now until saturday, i want to do nothing but free stuff (asides from driving). so who's with me?
they sounded a lot tighter than i expected, and didn't lack at all for energy. the venue kind of blew (the docks) due to the horrible acoustics there, but the crowd was into it. asides from some pushing and shoving in good fun, i must say all in all, it was a kickass show. i'd for sure catch them again.
i caved and bought the cd. i'm a sucker for supporting bands, i don't know what it is. i would have bought the k'naan cd at the ryerson frosh concert too if i had any cash on me. goodness i'm broke.
i'm trying to decide what colour to paint my room. i'm leaning towards greys and blues, or maybe even a combination of both. i also kind of want to paint my ceiling, but i don't know if that's a good idea.....we'll see.
my goal for the week is to not spend any money. from now until saturday, i want to do nothing but free stuff (asides from driving). so who's with me?
Sep 11, 2005
the.new.fad
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. [2 Cor 4]
i should be asleep. my sunday morning is as hectic as they come, and starts at an hour where i've normally just slipped into REM sleep.
reading this above verse though, and through the many events and conversations that i have enjoyed today -- i realize that there are so many promises i keep forgetting to hold in my heart.
when i look at myself, i can see that i am wasting away. that much is for certain. life is a series of challenges, and i often find myself falling by the wayside. not to say i'm not getting by ok -- i like to think i am. but many occasions, i pause and really start to think that i'm squandering a glorious chance.....to live.
we're all wasting away. we can't stop it. that's just the nature of things.
but are we be renewed? are we being filled?
i sure want to think i am. because just letting my life waste away is a pretty lonely thing to conclude.
what renews you? what are you living for?
or perhaps more succinctly.....what are you dying for?
i should be asleep. my sunday morning is as hectic as they come, and starts at an hour where i've normally just slipped into REM sleep.
reading this above verse though, and through the many events and conversations that i have enjoyed today -- i realize that there are so many promises i keep forgetting to hold in my heart.
when i look at myself, i can see that i am wasting away. that much is for certain. life is a series of challenges, and i often find myself falling by the wayside. not to say i'm not getting by ok -- i like to think i am. but many occasions, i pause and really start to think that i'm squandering a glorious chance.....to live.
we're all wasting away. we can't stop it. that's just the nature of things.
but are we be renewed? are we being filled?
i sure want to think i am. because just letting my life waste away is a pretty lonely thing to conclude.
what renews you? what are you living for?
or perhaps more succinctly.....what are you dying for?
Sep 8, 2005
pagina dos
i know i said i didn't want an ipod.
apple has changed my mind.
in other news, blake vs. agassi was the best tennis match i've seen.....ever. now i want to play tennis.
after his ridiculous comeback win, agassi was asked "down two sets, did you ever doubt you can pull this thing off"?
he replied
"I question myself every day. That's what I still find motivating about this. I don't have the answers, I don't pretend that I do just because I won the match. Just keep fighting and maybe something good happens."
apple has changed my mind.
in other news, blake vs. agassi was the best tennis match i've seen.....ever. now i want to play tennis.
after his ridiculous comeback win, agassi was asked "down two sets, did you ever doubt you can pull this thing off"?
he replied
"I question myself every day. That's what I still find motivating about this. I don't have the answers, I don't pretend that I do just because I won the match. Just keep fighting and maybe something good happens."
Sep 5, 2005
gold digger
for the vast majority of those who witnessed kanye freestyle his way into national controversy, these were probably the common reactions.
1) AMEN BROTHER
2) sigh. another misguided young black male.
a quote from new orleans may help put things in perspective:
"The guy who runs this building I'm in, emergency management, he's responsible for everything. His mother was trapped in St. Bernard nursing home, and every day she called him and said, 'Are you coming, son? Is somebody coming?' And he said, 'And yeah, Momma, somebody's coming to get you. Somebody's coming to get you on Tuesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Wednesday. Somebody's coming to get you Thursday. Somebody's coming to get you on Friday' — and she drowned Friday night. She drowned on Friday night," Mr. Broussard said.
now, we all know it's not the presidents job to save every granny in the state of louisiana. but it is indisputable that the help that arrived in the big easy was far too little, far too late.
was the cause racial? lets explore...
this whole situation really has been a microcosm of the divisions in american culture. be it racial, or socioeconomic -- the rifts between rich and poor, republican and democratic, the powerful and the powerless -- are growing wider everyday.
how else can you explain this ridiculous media exposure of poor black citizens left to fend for themselves in the middle of mayhem? or the media circus literally buzzing overhead capturing it all for the 24/7 news consortiums?
how is it, that though one of the most historical and treasured cities in the united states has been ravaged, the majority of the united states is watching the news as if there was just a horrible genocide in cambodia?
indeed, for those who've seen the movie "hotel rwanda", don't you find the raction of the general public eerily similar?
lets send some money. poor guys, i feel so bad for them. it's terrible whats going on down there.
so whats for dinner?
yes, this is a study in media and communications.
yes, this is a spectacular tragedy of massive proportions.
but what took so long for the help to arrive? was there a delay on mailing the president his memo? was it sent on a friday therefore requiring several business days to get to him?
michael moore lambasted mr.bush for sitting still after hearing news of the 9/11 terrorist attacks for a good half hour.
one can only wonder what people will say about this almost paid-vacation of foot dragging.
the fact of the matter is, there is no political brownie points to be won by posing heroically with the poor black ghetto in NO, or the white trailor trash in Ole' Miss.
there's no rush to help them. no rush to save them. no rush to acknowledge their plight.
racial accusations are never taken lightly. perhaps mr. west was a bit knee jerk in his reaction, but the truth of the situation is painfully obvious every day as i watch mainstream news channels propgate the same cliche's over and over again:
the chaos, looting and crime should be blamed on no one but the people present. they have no idea how barbaric they really are. silly rednecks with their shirts off, yelling at the camera. silly black gangsters (with their shirts off), stealing booze and food. and everybody...everybody it seems -- is shooting guns off in the air.
how did we get to this point? is it as simple as blaming the fat poor women who had to watch the white kid in his AE blasted jeans and lacoste polo board the first buses for evacuation? doesn't it seem too easy to just think that it must be some sort of civil unrest and complete and utter social breakdown in new orleans?
and so a nation shakes its head. it grieves. but it does not extend as full a helping hand as it should, because frankly -- like a homeless man begging for change -- those in this problem have really made things worse than they really are. this isn't our homeland.
it's bagdhad.
it's rwanda.
it's somolia.
how did we get here? how have we become so vague and irrelevant to each other that as long as the news doesn't affect our daily commute, it can no longer be personal? are we so emotionally devoid? so callous and jaded?
~
perhaps it's futile to say "the president is racist", "the news is biased and sensationalized", and "there is an unwritten caste system" are the roots of all our problems.
but sometimes, it's hard to deny the truth when it slaps you in the face. and what can we do, asides from change the channel, and hope fear factor is on to numb our minds from thinking too much.
as much as kanye jumped the gun on friday, i think deep down we know that he is simply reacting to the truth behind every chris rock and dave chappelle joke you've ever heard.
besides, maybe the college dropout knows a bit more about character judgment then we give him credit for.
"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing with no broke niggaz"
~kanye west
ain't that the truth.
1) AMEN BROTHER
2) sigh. another misguided young black male.
a quote from new orleans may help put things in perspective:
"The guy who runs this building I'm in, emergency management, he's responsible for everything. His mother was trapped in St. Bernard nursing home, and every day she called him and said, 'Are you coming, son? Is somebody coming?' And he said, 'And yeah, Momma, somebody's coming to get you. Somebody's coming to get you on Tuesday. Somebody's coming to get you on Wednesday. Somebody's coming to get you Thursday. Somebody's coming to get you on Friday' — and she drowned Friday night. She drowned on Friday night," Mr. Broussard said.
now, we all know it's not the presidents job to save every granny in the state of louisiana. but it is indisputable that the help that arrived in the big easy was far too little, far too late.
was the cause racial? lets explore...
this whole situation really has been a microcosm of the divisions in american culture. be it racial, or socioeconomic -- the rifts between rich and poor, republican and democratic, the powerful and the powerless -- are growing wider everyday.
how else can you explain this ridiculous media exposure of poor black citizens left to fend for themselves in the middle of mayhem? or the media circus literally buzzing overhead capturing it all for the 24/7 news consortiums?
how is it, that though one of the most historical and treasured cities in the united states has been ravaged, the majority of the united states is watching the news as if there was just a horrible genocide in cambodia?
indeed, for those who've seen the movie "hotel rwanda", don't you find the raction of the general public eerily similar?
lets send some money. poor guys, i feel so bad for them. it's terrible whats going on down there.
so whats for dinner?
yes, this is a study in media and communications.
yes, this is a spectacular tragedy of massive proportions.
but what took so long for the help to arrive? was there a delay on mailing the president his memo? was it sent on a friday therefore requiring several business days to get to him?
michael moore lambasted mr.bush for sitting still after hearing news of the 9/11 terrorist attacks for a good half hour.
one can only wonder what people will say about this almost paid-vacation of foot dragging.
the fact of the matter is, there is no political brownie points to be won by posing heroically with the poor black ghetto in NO, or the white trailor trash in Ole' Miss.
there's no rush to help them. no rush to save them. no rush to acknowledge their plight.
racial accusations are never taken lightly. perhaps mr. west was a bit knee jerk in his reaction, but the truth of the situation is painfully obvious every day as i watch mainstream news channels propgate the same cliche's over and over again:
the chaos, looting and crime should be blamed on no one but the people present. they have no idea how barbaric they really are. silly rednecks with their shirts off, yelling at the camera. silly black gangsters (with their shirts off), stealing booze and food. and everybody...everybody it seems -- is shooting guns off in the air.
how did we get to this point? is it as simple as blaming the fat poor women who had to watch the white kid in his AE blasted jeans and lacoste polo board the first buses for evacuation? doesn't it seem too easy to just think that it must be some sort of civil unrest and complete and utter social breakdown in new orleans?
and so a nation shakes its head. it grieves. but it does not extend as full a helping hand as it should, because frankly -- like a homeless man begging for change -- those in this problem have really made things worse than they really are. this isn't our homeland.
it's bagdhad.
it's rwanda.
it's somolia.
how did we get here? how have we become so vague and irrelevant to each other that as long as the news doesn't affect our daily commute, it can no longer be personal? are we so emotionally devoid? so callous and jaded?
~
perhaps it's futile to say "the president is racist", "the news is biased and sensationalized", and "there is an unwritten caste system" are the roots of all our problems.
but sometimes, it's hard to deny the truth when it slaps you in the face. and what can we do, asides from change the channel, and hope fear factor is on to numb our minds from thinking too much.
as much as kanye jumped the gun on friday, i think deep down we know that he is simply reacting to the truth behind every chris rock and dave chappelle joke you've ever heard.
besides, maybe the college dropout knows a bit more about character judgment then we give him credit for.
"Now I ain't saying she a gold digger
But she ain't messing with no broke niggaz"
~kanye west
ain't that the truth.
Aug 29, 2005
summer skin
games won: 0
run differential: -182
players lost to injury: 2
double plays turned: 0
ice creams owed: 1
players i have yet to meet: 1
percentage of team playing for the first time: 90%
games that we had fun: 10
regrets: 0
thanks ravens for an awesome season. we had a blast, learned that softball is fun, and can look forward to more fellowship and good times in summers to come. i hope everyone enjoyed it as much as i did.
way to be a team, and play the game how it's meant to be played.
thanks for the bear, he's the coolest!
run differential: -182
players lost to injury: 2
double plays turned: 0
ice creams owed: 1
players i have yet to meet: 1
percentage of team playing for the first time: 90%
games that we had fun: 10
regrets: 0
thanks ravens for an awesome season. we had a blast, learned that softball is fun, and can look forward to more fellowship and good times in summers to come. i hope everyone enjoyed it as much as i did.
way to be a team, and play the game how it's meant to be played.
thanks for the bear, he's the coolest!
Aug 23, 2005
for me this is heaven
why is it that so often, the greatest ideas are wasted on the apathetic?
what a cruel and terrible trick for life to play.
what a cruel and terrible trick for life to play.
Aug 16, 2005
TheStar.com - Sports/Index
'Target' black youth, councillor urges
once again, the star has gone out of their way to take a story and play it up by focusing on volatile words like "target".
i loathe this paper more and more. but it has a good sports section, so whats a guy to do? except that dave feshuk guy. i want to punch him in the nads.
but i digress.
i think this is the funniest story ever. i mean....is this councillor OUT OF HIS MIND? if this dude was white, we'd be breaking out the pillowcases, pitchforks, and burning crosses.
i also think it's funny how people think racial profiling in the justice system is somehow related to "political correctness".
are....you kidding me?
the minority in your office with the corner cubicle who doesn't speak english and had sub-average grades in university may be an affirmitive action hire. that's political correctness.
pulling over black kids because some punks might have guns is just retarded.
just....unbelievable.
i particularly like reading the "voice your own opinion" pieces at the star.
"Discrimination based on race, ethnicity, religion, nationality or on any other identity undermines the basic human rights and freedoms to which every person is entitled to. However, when innocent lives are being taken and statistics show that the majority of these gun crimes are committed by members of the "young black" community how can we be against the suggestion. If this so- called "discrimination" will save one innocent life or more then why not?
Jennifer Vivian, Brampton, Aug. 16"
i suppose that also, muslims should no longer be allowed to board airplanes without a thorough cavity and luggage check.
you know, cuz all terrorists are islamic.
detaining every muslim at the airport for a few hours of interrogation may actually save a life some day.
but oh well! guess it just sucks to be islamic eh?
i also don't get why she put quotes around "young black" community. what does that even mean? they're just pretending to be young but are actually old? so you got like 30-year old gangsta's running around telling people they're 18?
or does she mean they're not REALLY black? i'm so confused.
oh well. i'm sure jennifer vivian from brampton knows whats best for us all. nobody with two first names could possibly be wrong.
once again, the star has gone out of their way to take a story and play it up by focusing on volatile words like "target".
i loathe this paper more and more. but it has a good sports section, so whats a guy to do? except that dave feshuk guy. i want to punch him in the nads.
but i digress.
i think this is the funniest story ever. i mean....is this councillor OUT OF HIS MIND? if this dude was white, we'd be breaking out the pillowcases, pitchforks, and burning crosses.
i also think it's funny how people think racial profiling in the justice system is somehow related to "political correctness".
are....you kidding me?
the minority in your office with the corner cubicle who doesn't speak english and had sub-average grades in university may be an affirmitive action hire. that's political correctness.
pulling over black kids because some punks might have guns is just retarded.
just....unbelievable.
i particularly like reading the "voice your own opinion" pieces at the star.
"Discrimination based on race, ethnicity, religion, nationality or on any other identity undermines the basic human rights and freedoms to which every person is entitled to. However, when innocent lives are being taken and statistics show that the majority of these gun crimes are committed by members of the "young black" community how can we be against the suggestion. If this so- called "discrimination" will save one innocent life or more then why not?
Jennifer Vivian, Brampton, Aug. 16"
i suppose that also, muslims should no longer be allowed to board airplanes without a thorough cavity and luggage check.
you know, cuz all terrorists are islamic.
detaining every muslim at the airport for a few hours of interrogation may actually save a life some day.
but oh well! guess it just sucks to be islamic eh?
i also don't get why she put quotes around "young black" community. what does that even mean? they're just pretending to be young but are actually old? so you got like 30-year old gangsta's running around telling people they're 18?
or does she mean they're not REALLY black? i'm so confused.
oh well. i'm sure jennifer vivian from brampton knows whats best for us all. nobody with two first names could possibly be wrong.
come out tonight
operation "go to bed earlier" has commenced.
first order is to break the cycle of death by forcing myself to wake up early even though i slept at my normal 4am.
done.
next order of business is to somehow stay awake until a reasonable time tonight without sleep. ooohhhh....i wish i had something planned to do this afternoon, i sense a nap.
was suppose to go work out at the gym this morning, but seeing as how i got all of 2 hours or so of sleep, i decided just to stick around and go for a quick jog instead. man i'm out of shape.
i ran a little circuit that i had mapped out in my head, but upon getting home, i discovered that i had only run for about 12 minutes. but boy, was i tired....hahaha
so it takes me about 12 minutes to run roughly 3k...and i am pretty much done for the morning. i used to run 6k in 21 minutes......must work myself into shape before basketball season....
i blame it on my lack of sleep. yawn.
someone help keep me awake.....
first order is to break the cycle of death by forcing myself to wake up early even though i slept at my normal 4am.
done.
next order of business is to somehow stay awake until a reasonable time tonight without sleep. ooohhhh....i wish i had something planned to do this afternoon, i sense a nap.
was suppose to go work out at the gym this morning, but seeing as how i got all of 2 hours or so of sleep, i decided just to stick around and go for a quick jog instead. man i'm out of shape.
i ran a little circuit that i had mapped out in my head, but upon getting home, i discovered that i had only run for about 12 minutes. but boy, was i tired....hahaha
so it takes me about 12 minutes to run roughly 3k...and i am pretty much done for the morning. i used to run 6k in 21 minutes......must work myself into shape before basketball season....
i blame it on my lack of sleep. yawn.
someone help keep me awake.....
Aug 13, 2005
in this home on ice
- oxyclean really works
- i've lost my watch
- crutches make you look funny
- everyone has an inner fob*
now, as an appendum to my earlier post, here are some upcoming shows i would like to check out. feel free to join me!
//sat.sept.03//
clap your hands say yeah! ][the horseshoe $12
//thurs.sept.08//
xiu xiu, frog eyes and das yellow swans ][X-Space $10-$12
//sat.sept.10//
sufjan stevens and laura veirs ][ Trinity St. Paul's Centre $20
//mon.sept.12//
Bloc Party, the kills and noisettes ][ Docks $21.50
//thurs.sept.15//
13 and god featuring the notwist and themselves ][ Lee's Palace, $15
//fri.sept.16,17,18//
rjd2, kid koala, holy fuck, a northern chorus, as the poets affirm, in support of living, the no luck club, Death from above 1979, tricky woo, the zoobombs, saul williams, k'naan, lal, final fantasy, meligrove band, vermicious knid, jon-rae & the river and elliott brood, sleater-kinney, the organ, republic of safety, the hidden cameras, joel plaskett, julie doiron, the high dials, frontier index and the Old soul as part of the Ear To The Ground Festival ][ Exhibition Place, $25-$60
//tues.sept.20//
royksopp ][ Opera House, $18.50
//fri.sept.23//
four tet and hot chip ][ Horseshoe, $15
//thurs.sept.29//
ted leo/pharmacists ][ Mod Club, $15
//thurs.oct.13//
the decemberists and cass mccombs ][ Phoenix, $17.50
- i've lost my watch
- crutches make you look funny
- everyone has an inner fob*
now, as an appendum to my earlier post, here are some upcoming shows i would like to check out. feel free to join me!
//sat.sept.03//
clap your hands say yeah! ][the horseshoe $12
//thurs.sept.08//
xiu xiu, frog eyes and das yellow swans ][X-Space $10-$12
//sat.sept.10//
sufjan stevens and laura veirs ][ Trinity St. Paul's Centre $20
//mon.sept.12//
Bloc Party, the kills and noisettes ][ Docks $21.50
//thurs.sept.15//
13 and god featuring the notwist and themselves ][ Lee's Palace, $15
//fri.sept.16,17,18//
rjd2, kid koala, holy fuck, a northern chorus, as the poets affirm, in support of living, the no luck club, Death from above 1979, tricky woo, the zoobombs, saul williams, k'naan, lal, final fantasy, meligrove band, vermicious knid, jon-rae & the river and elliott brood, sleater-kinney, the organ, republic of safety, the hidden cameras, joel plaskett, julie doiron, the high dials, frontier index and the Old soul as part of the Ear To The Ground Festival ][ Exhibition Place, $25-$60
//tues.sept.20//
royksopp ][ Opera House, $18.50
//fri.sept.23//
four tet and hot chip ][ Horseshoe, $15
//thurs.sept.29//
ted leo/pharmacists ][ Mod Club, $15
//thurs.oct.13//
the decemberists and cass mccombs ][ Phoenix, $17.50
do it again
finally, a web community application i can get behind.
music, meet world. world, my music. audioscrobbler is basically AA, friendster, blogger, and your personal musical tastes put together. once you join, it will display all the songs you've been listening to recently, including at the very moment. moreover, it charts them in order of how often you listen to them so that people can see what you've been digging and what you haven't.
the best part is that by doing this, you can find people with similar musical tastes as you, and find new music through other peoples charts, lists and even journal entries.
also, there's a variety of streaming radio stations available to suit whatever tastes you may have, including customizable ones to keep you satisfied all day long.
this may sound like an ad, but i really just think its an awesome idea. check out what i've been listening to lately at my audioscrobbler page
i'm going to link to it permenantly on the right there, and eventually i will have a nice little history and compilation of charted music. cooooooool!
music, meet world. world, my music. audioscrobbler is basically AA, friendster, blogger, and your personal musical tastes put together. once you join, it will display all the songs you've been listening to recently, including at the very moment. moreover, it charts them in order of how often you listen to them so that people can see what you've been digging and what you haven't.
the best part is that by doing this, you can find people with similar musical tastes as you, and find new music through other peoples charts, lists and even journal entries.
also, there's a variety of streaming radio stations available to suit whatever tastes you may have, including customizable ones to keep you satisfied all day long.
this may sound like an ad, but i really just think its an awesome idea. check out what i've been listening to lately at my audioscrobbler page
i'm going to link to it permenantly on the right there, and eventually i will have a nice little history and compilation of charted music. cooooooool!
Aug 11, 2005
what sarah said
the dog days of summer continue to pass us by.
a lot of times i think about everything i want, and i know that i need to start taking instead of waiting. life is like that -- you generally are better off being an active participant rather than an observer.
what do we really want out of our days anyways? where is it we really want to end up? when we put our doubts aside, put all our fears aside and be honest with ourselves -- where do we want to go, and who do we want to be?
i can't help but think i'm playing catch up. but forward i go.
a lot of times i think about everything i want, and i know that i need to start taking instead of waiting. life is like that -- you generally are better off being an active participant rather than an observer.
what do we really want out of our days anyways? where is it we really want to end up? when we put our doubts aside, put all our fears aside and be honest with ourselves -- where do we want to go, and who do we want to be?
i can't help but think i'm playing catch up. but forward i go.
Jul 30, 2005
let the cool goddess rust away
the funny thing with looking forward, is that you can't look back at the same time.
it's hard. it's difficult not to look back in fondness and nostalgia at all that has come to pass. to think about all we've seen along the way, all we've experienced, all that has led us to the here and now. everyone loves a good stroll down memory lane. strolls down future uncertainty are generally a less requested adventure.
and its true that life throws us curveballs here and there. we can't always see them coming, but you sometimes anticipate where they're going to be. and you know what they say -- you can't hit the ball if you don't swing.
the phrase "you can't go back" has so much depth to it. we can't go back to simpler times. we can't go back to correct our mistakes. we can't go back to relive our joys. whats done is done. so many things in life are reversible, while life itself is an immutabe and constant forward progression. time just marches on, whether you're ready or not.
learning to appreciate the past instead of dwelling on it is something that comes with time. it's with seemingly cruel irony that lifes plays on us this reality -- the more memories we make, the more time we spend experiencing life, the more we must learn to live in the present.
not to say we can't always shoot the shit about the good ole' days, or laugh it up about "that time when". but we can't cling on to those memories anymore. the past defines who we are today, but we cannot expect it to define who we will be tomorrow. that's our choice, no one elses.
even if we can't stay in one moment, we can watch the trail we blaze behind us. sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. looking back, we can pause and see just where things changed us, made us, and where we changed those around us. we can gain an understanding and appreciation for what we have seen and heard so far. but instead of longing for what we have tasted, we can desire something greater -- something beyond our wildest expectations.
"you can't go back"
psh.
who wants to?
i'd say make me proud -- but i already am.
here's to you.
take care of yourself.
it's hard. it's difficult not to look back in fondness and nostalgia at all that has come to pass. to think about all we've seen along the way, all we've experienced, all that has led us to the here and now. everyone loves a good stroll down memory lane. strolls down future uncertainty are generally a less requested adventure.
and its true that life throws us curveballs here and there. we can't always see them coming, but you sometimes anticipate where they're going to be. and you know what they say -- you can't hit the ball if you don't swing.
the phrase "you can't go back" has so much depth to it. we can't go back to simpler times. we can't go back to correct our mistakes. we can't go back to relive our joys. whats done is done. so many things in life are reversible, while life itself is an immutabe and constant forward progression. time just marches on, whether you're ready or not.
learning to appreciate the past instead of dwelling on it is something that comes with time. it's with seemingly cruel irony that lifes plays on us this reality -- the more memories we make, the more time we spend experiencing life, the more we must learn to live in the present.
not to say we can't always shoot the shit about the good ole' days, or laugh it up about "that time when". but we can't cling on to those memories anymore. the past defines who we are today, but we cannot expect it to define who we will be tomorrow. that's our choice, no one elses.
even if we can't stay in one moment, we can watch the trail we blaze behind us. sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. looking back, we can pause and see just where things changed us, made us, and where we changed those around us. we can gain an understanding and appreciation for what we have seen and heard so far. but instead of longing for what we have tasted, we can desire something greater -- something beyond our wildest expectations.
"you can't go back"
psh.
who wants to?
i'd say make me proud -- but i already am.
here's to you.
take care of yourself.
Jul 29, 2005
wintermitts
why does a beautiful august morning feel like the darkest winter day?
i wish so many things......
so many things.
i wish i could sleep.
i wish i could make dreams come true.
i wish so many things......
so many things.
i wish i could sleep.
i wish i could make dreams come true.
Jul 28, 2005
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
*****
thank you for everything. for more than you know.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
*****
thank you for everything. for more than you know.
Jul 27, 2005
drowned men
one of those lazy summer days.
goodness i've waited a long time for one of these.
i find we all have our means of cutting loose. of expressing ourselves.
it's nice to know what keeps you going. then have time to do it.
goodness i've waited a long time for one of these.
i find we all have our means of cutting loose. of expressing ourselves.
it's nice to know what keeps you going. then have time to do it.
Jul 16, 2005
the lemon of pink
surprises i discovered while packing that i found amusing:
- an OAC calculus test. final mark, %20
- baritone music from grade school band
- a VHS tape of irene and myself doing hockey play-by-play
- the only political science essay i ever enjoyed writing (i was rewarded with a good mark)
- a little plastic gun that shoots suction darts, circa high school montreal trip
- a photograph of my st. tims W5H championship team
- one lobster shaped bottle holder apparently bought by my parents from the east coast.
- a business card for cammie cheng, "korean seductress"
and perhaps one of my favourites, the 1997 didomi directory.
some excerpts:
if i were a box, i'd be....
"a small, easy to lose box, because i want to isolate myself from society" - beverly ng
"a coleman cooler" - lincoln troi
one thing the world should know about me...
"i like airplane food" - dora yiu
"i don't look like gabe sr." - ernest chan
"i laugh by myself" - grace lee sr.
"i shampoor my hair" - kevin lim
"when i was a young kid, my parents found me by the shores of a shaolin temple. being monks themselves, they taught me the deadly art of the caterpillar. now, i protect innocents from the evil dark forces of...." - graham chung
ambitions...
"raise 4 kids and own a recording studio on the side" - emily ng
"to become like steve" - gabe chan sr.
"to be a candycane striper" - gabe chan jr.
"to grow taller" - gloria cheung
advice for the youth of tomorrow
"squeeze paper towels into a ball before throwing in basket, to prevent from flowing over!!!" - ryan ming
classic moments from youth.
remember, if it ain't dido.....
- an OAC calculus test. final mark, %20
- baritone music from grade school band
- a VHS tape of irene and myself doing hockey play-by-play
- the only political science essay i ever enjoyed writing (i was rewarded with a good mark)
- a little plastic gun that shoots suction darts, circa high school montreal trip
- a photograph of my st. tims W5H championship team
- one lobster shaped bottle holder apparently bought by my parents from the east coast.
- a business card for cammie cheng, "korean seductress"
and perhaps one of my favourites, the 1997 didomi directory.
some excerpts:
if i were a box, i'd be....
"a small, easy to lose box, because i want to isolate myself from society" - beverly ng
"a coleman cooler" - lincoln troi
one thing the world should know about me...
"i like airplane food" - dora yiu
"i don't look like gabe sr." - ernest chan
"i laugh by myself" - grace lee sr.
"i shampoor my hair" - kevin lim
"when i was a young kid, my parents found me by the shores of a shaolin temple. being monks themselves, they taught me the deadly art of the caterpillar. now, i protect innocents from the evil dark forces of...." - graham chung
ambitions...
"raise 4 kids and own a recording studio on the side" - emily ng
"to become like steve" - gabe chan sr.
"to be a candycane striper" - gabe chan jr.
"to grow taller" - gloria cheung
advice for the youth of tomorrow
"squeeze paper towels into a ball before throwing in basket, to prevent from flowing over!!!" - ryan ming
classic moments from youth.
remember, if it ain't dido.....
Jul 15, 2005
The Chapter In Your Life Entitled San Francisco
you can tell i'm busy because i've blogged twice today. that increases my weekly blogging quota by......i dunno. a lot.
there's this scene in the movie finding forrester (or as i like to call it, black will hunting,) where sean "the rapist for $400" connery insightfully says
"we always sound better in writing than we do out loud"
in the context of blogs, i think this is certainly the case. being an avid blog stalker, i find that often i feel like i can sort of create a mental projection of what somebody is like from reading their blog. then when or if i actually meet them in real life, they are often nothing like i expected.
maybe its just me, but do lots of people flat out talk and think differently on their blogs? i realize it has a lot to do with the medium itself; blogs are often used for specific purposes, such as when people are in good moods, procrastinating moods, depressed ranting moods....etc. they aren't meant to paint broad and accurate strokes of ones personality.
talking to ivan the other day, he said "when people say i'm not what they expected, i wonder....what did they expect?"
i wonder....do most people blog about who they are.....or rather who they want people to think they are? or inversely....do blogs represent who we really are, while in reality we often hide our true personalities and quirks in order to project a more status quo image.....?
there's this scene in the movie finding forrester (or as i like to call it, black will hunting,) where sean "the rapist for $400" connery insightfully says
"we always sound better in writing than we do out loud"
in the context of blogs, i think this is certainly the case. being an avid blog stalker, i find that often i feel like i can sort of create a mental projection of what somebody is like from reading their blog. then when or if i actually meet them in real life, they are often nothing like i expected.
maybe its just me, but do lots of people flat out talk and think differently on their blogs? i realize it has a lot to do with the medium itself; blogs are often used for specific purposes, such as when people are in good moods, procrastinating moods, depressed ranting moods....etc. they aren't meant to paint broad and accurate strokes of ones personality.
talking to ivan the other day, he said "when people say i'm not what they expected, i wonder....what did they expect?"
i wonder....do most people blog about who they are.....or rather who they want people to think they are? or inversely....do blogs represent who we really are, while in reality we often hide our true personalities and quirks in order to project a more status quo image.....?
mikado
boy i've been neglecting this thing.
moving is such a whirlwind of activity. leave it to the yau's to have everything to do at the last minute.
north york, here we come. back to....er...ryan's neighbourhood.
moving is such a whirlwind of activity. leave it to the yau's to have everything to do at the last minute.
north york, here we come. back to....er...ryan's neighbourhood.
Jun 27, 2005
John Wayne Gacy, Jr.
i can't tell if i haven't updated yet because i have too much to say, or because i'm scared that i have nothing to say at all.
you know that feeling where you just know you learned something, but you haven't figured out what yet?
yea. that's how i feel about the trip.
i'm actually pretty sick of hearing myself talk about the trip.
but it won't be the last time, i'm sure.
you know that feeling where you just know you learned something, but you haven't figured out what yet?
yea. that's how i feel about the trip.
i'm actually pretty sick of hearing myself talk about the trip.
but it won't be the last time, i'm sure.
Jun 13, 2005
Continued movement in A minor
i know that technically xanga is my trip journal (outside of my actual trip journal). but i don't really feel much like talking about where i've been as much as how i've been i guess. besides, the xanga is pretty up to date. lots of people seem to use both services, i'll join the party i suppose.
it's humid here in singapore. there is a sheen of sweat over my body despite my lack of movement. but it's a comfortable warmth, and it's relaxing here with free internet. this hostel is quite chill, with some downtempo beats in the background, and a nice setup of moodlighting. this place seems like it was furnished by ikea, with darkstained wood furniture and colourful oriental style cushions and mats adorning the floors and walls everywhere. it's chic. almost too chic. in fact, i would venture its the first hostel computer i've encountered that has itunes installed on it. blech.
some things that have been feeding the little hamster in my head lately, include friends, and purpose. not mutually exclusive topics, to be sure.
sometimes i wonder why i'm friends with....well, my friends. what is it that has brought us all together, and what is it that keeps us from simply not caring anymore?
i've been thinking a lot about church. about fellowship. about the meaning of friendships in the context of those who follow Jesus and those who chose not to. about the meanings of witnessing, evangalism, and about the dichotomoy of faith and works.
the bible says that faith without works is dead, but works without faith lead to death.
mcluhan says that the medium is the message.
i'm really starting to think that as christians, we're settling far to often and easily for living our lives around the message, while ignoring the medium.
so often i see us fall by the wayside; victims of our own poisoned rationale.
it was just one time.
things aren't so literal.
it's not a big deal.
who are we kidding ourselves?
i would rather be called out on my mistakes than try to pretend i'm something i'm not. i don't want to act like everything is good enough. settling is what leads to death, not sin. sin can be fought. sin can be defeated.
complacency is a far deadlier disease. apathy. denial.
what is a christian life? what differentiates a christian from a non-christian? should such differentiations even be made? do they really mean anything? or are they just semantics and dogmatic linearities that we are used to because we've heard them over and over again?
christians who aren't christians but say there are. too often this is me.
this is the problem with christianity today. not the forces combatting it externally. not politics, not issues, not other religions.
the problem with christianity is christians.
live it. if you don't know how to, or what that means, then i think its time you thought about it. asked about it. figured out your own definition and confirmed it with others. explore your faith.
just....please. don't stop caring.
it's humid here in singapore. there is a sheen of sweat over my body despite my lack of movement. but it's a comfortable warmth, and it's relaxing here with free internet. this hostel is quite chill, with some downtempo beats in the background, and a nice setup of moodlighting. this place seems like it was furnished by ikea, with darkstained wood furniture and colourful oriental style cushions and mats adorning the floors and walls everywhere. it's chic. almost too chic. in fact, i would venture its the first hostel computer i've encountered that has itunes installed on it. blech.
some things that have been feeding the little hamster in my head lately, include friends, and purpose. not mutually exclusive topics, to be sure.
sometimes i wonder why i'm friends with....well, my friends. what is it that has brought us all together, and what is it that keeps us from simply not caring anymore?
i've been thinking a lot about church. about fellowship. about the meaning of friendships in the context of those who follow Jesus and those who chose not to. about the meanings of witnessing, evangalism, and about the dichotomoy of faith and works.
the bible says that faith without works is dead, but works without faith lead to death.
mcluhan says that the medium is the message.
i'm really starting to think that as christians, we're settling far to often and easily for living our lives around the message, while ignoring the medium.
so often i see us fall by the wayside; victims of our own poisoned rationale.
it was just one time.
things aren't so literal.
it's not a big deal.
who are we kidding ourselves?
i would rather be called out on my mistakes than try to pretend i'm something i'm not. i don't want to act like everything is good enough. settling is what leads to death, not sin. sin can be fought. sin can be defeated.
complacency is a far deadlier disease. apathy. denial.
what is a christian life? what differentiates a christian from a non-christian? should such differentiations even be made? do they really mean anything? or are they just semantics and dogmatic linearities that we are used to because we've heard them over and over again?
christians who aren't christians but say there are. too often this is me.
this is the problem with christianity today. not the forces combatting it externally. not politics, not issues, not other religions.
the problem with christianity is christians.
live it. if you don't know how to, or what that means, then i think its time you thought about it. asked about it. figured out your own definition and confirmed it with others. explore your faith.
just....please. don't stop caring.
May 15, 2005
i'm the gingerbread man!
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=mr_oizo
check the xanga for trip updates. blogger is a nono in china.
check the xanga for trip updates. blogger is a nono in china.
May 13, 2005
i suppose there, it's just food
there sure are a lot of chinese people in Beijing. i can't believe how large and sprawling this city is. it's crowded, but because it's also so spacious you don't really get a sense of the population. you do however, get a sense of space, and how much of it this city takes up. insane.
saw the forbidden city and tianamen square today. walking hurts my feet.
and food. goodness, food is cheap here. i almost feel guilty. we're paying literally pennies for food.
more to come as further updates warrant. i'm having a blast, and i'm safe and sound.
farewell from peking.
saw the forbidden city and tianamen square today. walking hurts my feet.
and food. goodness, food is cheap here. i almost feel guilty. we're paying literally pennies for food.
more to come as further updates warrant. i'm having a blast, and i'm safe and sound.
farewell from peking.
May 6, 2005
perfect situation
Nash beats out Shaq as league MVP
congrats stevie nash! he's deserved it all this year.
if pheonix can go all the way this year, steve nash is officially my hero, hahaha
congrats stevie nash! he's deserved it all this year.
if pheonix can go all the way this year, steve nash is officially my hero, hahaha
Apr 29, 2005
how great is our god
ok, so i'm not actually listening to 'how great is our god'. i'm playing it on guitar.
bumming around my brothers place at the moment waiting to meet people downtown. took care of all the chinese visa stuff finally today, i hope it all goes smoothly.
currently blogging on my brothers new 15" powerbook g4. it's so nice! it's totally quiet, i can't hear a thing, and it doesn't seem to suffer from the memory spikes that my IBM has been having as of late whenever i start typing stuff. strange.....i wonder whats causing it. also, i wish i had ilife.....such a fun little suite of software. this one button mouse thing is really stupid though. in all my experience with macs, i just don't get it. it's like the j-gate in jaguars. signature isn't always a good thing.
so i got into toronto around 2am last night, finally having left london for the last time as a resident. hence forth, all trips will be visits, and not returns. what is it they say? there's no going back? good times. many thoughts swirl around my little head as i think of my time at UWO, but i doubt they would fit in one blog.
it's such a nice day today. after a really wet and grey week, it's nice to see the sun make a cameo. despite the franticness and fatigue of moving out and the busyness of prepping for the trip, i'm reminded of how blessed i really am. its no coincidence this tomlin song has sooo been stuck in my head as of late.
was listening to the radio today and the dj quoted a study saying that 90% of people fake a cell phone conversation at least once a month. can that possibly be right?? i don't think i've ever faked a cell phone conversation in my life -- although i can think of times i wish i had.....
bumming around my brothers place at the moment waiting to meet people downtown. took care of all the chinese visa stuff finally today, i hope it all goes smoothly.
currently blogging on my brothers new 15" powerbook g4. it's so nice! it's totally quiet, i can't hear a thing, and it doesn't seem to suffer from the memory spikes that my IBM has been having as of late whenever i start typing stuff. strange.....i wonder whats causing it. also, i wish i had ilife.....such a fun little suite of software. this one button mouse thing is really stupid though. in all my experience with macs, i just don't get it. it's like the j-gate in jaguars. signature isn't always a good thing.
so i got into toronto around 2am last night, finally having left london for the last time as a resident. hence forth, all trips will be visits, and not returns. what is it they say? there's no going back? good times. many thoughts swirl around my little head as i think of my time at UWO, but i doubt they would fit in one blog.
it's such a nice day today. after a really wet and grey week, it's nice to see the sun make a cameo. despite the franticness and fatigue of moving out and the busyness of prepping for the trip, i'm reminded of how blessed i really am. its no coincidence this tomlin song has sooo been stuck in my head as of late.
was listening to the radio today and the dj quoted a study saying that 90% of people fake a cell phone conversation at least once a month. can that possibly be right?? i don't think i've ever faked a cell phone conversation in my life -- although i can think of times i wish i had.....
Apr 22, 2005
close
i wrote this earlier today, but blogger was down this afternoon.
stripping your room bare brings to the surface a very distinct type of nostalgia.
sitting down and looking after each step, with every piece of sentiment and every memory packed into a box or bag, one can't help but wonder what's next, and fondly look back at what has been.
this room has been mine for two years, but it feels like so much longer. even further seem the two years prior, with first year but a mere echo in the recess of my mind -- discernable, but wispy.
i feel.....sad. as i reflect on the reality of the situation, this moment that i've been striving towards for so long, i'm reminded of the importance of the journey.
maybe i'm odd, but i'm one of those people that save every little thing that is ever given to me. every card, every note, every little scrap paper that someone writes to me, i save for some reason. i can't describe why i hold on to these things , but every so often i just look through these symbols of love and caring and am reminded of how lucky i am.
as much as i sometimes wonder and worry about the future, just looking at how bursting at the seams my grab-bag of thoughtfulness is, i know that God will continue to bless me well beyond my feeble expectations and cynicism. i'm reminded of my favourite bible verse in this poignant moment.
23Another time, Elisha was on his way to Bethel and some little kids came out from the town and taunted him, "What's up, old baldhead! Out of our way, skinhead!"
24 Elisha turned, took one look at them, and cursed them in the name of GOD. Two bears charged out of the underbrush and knocked them about, ripping them limb from limb--forty-two children in all!
25Elisha went on to Mount Carmel, and then returned to Samaria.
- 2 Kings 2:23-25 (The Message)
i already wrote one of these sappy end of year blogs last week when i ended class. i forsee yet another one when i move out my furniture next week.
the roller coaster of emotions continues. don't you just love that bible verse? who says God doesn't have a sense of humour? (and don't just look at the platypus)
and now, for hot pot!
stripping your room bare brings to the surface a very distinct type of nostalgia.
sitting down and looking after each step, with every piece of sentiment and every memory packed into a box or bag, one can't help but wonder what's next, and fondly look back at what has been.
this room has been mine for two years, but it feels like so much longer. even further seem the two years prior, with first year but a mere echo in the recess of my mind -- discernable, but wispy.
i feel.....sad. as i reflect on the reality of the situation, this moment that i've been striving towards for so long, i'm reminded of the importance of the journey.
maybe i'm odd, but i'm one of those people that save every little thing that is ever given to me. every card, every note, every little scrap paper that someone writes to me, i save for some reason. i can't describe why i hold on to these things , but every so often i just look through these symbols of love and caring and am reminded of how lucky i am.
as much as i sometimes wonder and worry about the future, just looking at how bursting at the seams my grab-bag of thoughtfulness is, i know that God will continue to bless me well beyond my feeble expectations and cynicism. i'm reminded of my favourite bible verse in this poignant moment.
23Another time, Elisha was on his way to Bethel and some little kids came out from the town and taunted him, "What's up, old baldhead! Out of our way, skinhead!"
24 Elisha turned, took one look at them, and cursed them in the name of GOD. Two bears charged out of the underbrush and knocked them about, ripping them limb from limb--forty-two children in all!
25Elisha went on to Mount Carmel, and then returned to Samaria.
- 2 Kings 2:23-25 (The Message)
i already wrote one of these sappy end of year blogs last week when i ended class. i forsee yet another one when i move out my furniture next week.
the roller coaster of emotions continues. don't you just love that bible verse? who says God doesn't have a sense of humour? (and don't just look at the platypus)
and now, for hot pot!
Apr 15, 2005
all the trees of the field will clap their hands
i want to learn to play the banjo.
in other news, the process of slowly moving out of london has begun. it feels funny thinking i'll never live there again. i think. but at the same time there's a nostalgic sense of closure that i'm moving on to other things.
who wants some furniture? i have a bookshelf, some shelving units, plastic drawers, all that kind of neat stuff. i haven't started sifting through the piles of misc. collected items stashed in the various corners of my room, but i'm sure i'll unearth some gems.
the next few weeks will be split between london and toronto, kicking it in the forrest city, and getting errands accomplished in toronto. busy busy i guess, but all with an air of satisfaction and anticipation about it.
now....who wants trucker hats?
in other news, the process of slowly moving out of london has begun. it feels funny thinking i'll never live there again. i think. but at the same time there's a nostalgic sense of closure that i'm moving on to other things.
who wants some furniture? i have a bookshelf, some shelving units, plastic drawers, all that kind of neat stuff. i haven't started sifting through the piles of misc. collected items stashed in the various corners of my room, but i'm sure i'll unearth some gems.
the next few weeks will be split between london and toronto, kicking it in the forrest city, and getting errands accomplished in toronto. busy busy i guess, but all with an air of satisfaction and anticipation about it.
now....who wants trucker hats?
Apr 6, 2005
sentiments vs syllables
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
~ Groucho Marx
and so it ends. i just finished my last class here at the university of western ontario. what a bittersweet experience this graduation business is proving to be.
for so long i have wanted out. no more classes, no more books....no more teachers dirty looks.
and yet here i am, almost wishing i could start all over again from square one. that i could redo my mistakes, and relive my elation. so much has happened in my four years here. i can't say i'm nearly the same person walking away from here as i was walking in.
God has blessed me so much, and given me such great friends and a wonderful fellowship. I feel like my eyes have been opened to life, and where i fit into things. That assurance is so invaluable. I know that i'll be moving on, but i recognize that i might not ever have the luxury this situation affords....for the rest of my life. absolute freedom, learning on my own, forcing myself to grow, great friends who are around all day every day and accessible 24/7.
so to all who've put up with me, and all who've helped me through the tougher times, and everyone i've met here -- thanks.
man, i'm writing a grad comment for my imaginary yearbook. i'm such a loser.
Apr 5, 2005
i want to know your plans
i've waited so long for this day.
our first steps towards building a gundam
mmm....side mounted gattling guns...
now everyone knows what i want for christmas:
a land walker.
our first steps towards building a gundam
mmm....side mounted gattling guns...
now everyone knows what i want for christmas:
a land walker.
the heavens
wouldn't life be more fun if everything had a live studio audience?
"i slept in for class"
"well, at least it wasn't MONEY class!"
*audience laughs*
wait...that's not funny.
dammit, i'm gonna go eat hotdogs.
*audience laughs*
"i slept in for class"
"well, at least it wasn't MONEY class!"
*audience laughs*
wait...that's not funny.
dammit, i'm gonna go eat hotdogs.
*audience laughs*
Mar 31, 2005
two dedications
as cammie has pointed out, there is an abundance of good music rolling through town over the next few months. she has a helpful list on her blog.
i thought just for sharing, i'd list a few of the smaller (and cheaper) shows that are gonna be visiting toronto (many of which while i'm gone....dammmmmmiiiitttt.....) so those of you on a shoe-string budget like myself can catch some great gigs too.
april
7//damon & naomi, raising the fawn and a northern chorus//Drake Hotel, //$10
7//the kills//Horseshoe//$12.50
7//kathleen edwards and jason collett //Mod Club // $15
10//outhud //Horseshoe // $10
14//angels of light w/ m. gira, akron/family and picastro //Music Gallery //$13-$15
17//the shins //Kool Haus, //$21
18//m ward //Lee's Palace, //$12.50
19//m83 and ulrich schnauss //Lee's Palace, //$15
26//arcade fire //Danforth Music Hall // $20
may
9//prefuse 73 //Lee's Palace, //$15
11//the mountain goats //Lee's Palace, //$11
21//the decemberists //Lee's Palace, //$15
28//Sam prekop //Horseshoe, //$12
21//LCD Soundsystem & M.I.A //Opera House//prices unannounced
and although it's too expensive, i think it's important to list:
may 16//doves and mercury rev //Kool Haus, //$25.75
not to mention of course the Bloc Party this saturday. tickets still available if i'm not mistaken.
i'd kill to see the arcade fire and sam prekop. i'd also like to see the shins, but that's a bit pricey for me. i'm not even here for sam prekop, and LCD SOUNDSYSTEM AND MIA. that's going to be the funnest show of the year. dammmmmiiiiiitttttt.....
but ok. arcade fire -- i wanna go to that for sure. maybe out hud, and maybe m ward, and maybe the shins. why...why am i so poor....
so there you go. cheap but great music. enjoy folks!
i thought just for sharing, i'd list a few of the smaller (and cheaper) shows that are gonna be visiting toronto (many of which while i'm gone....dammmmmmiiiitttt.....) so those of you on a shoe-string budget like myself can catch some great gigs too.
april
7//damon & naomi, raising the fawn and a northern chorus//Drake Hotel, //$10
7//the kills//Horseshoe//$12.50
7//kathleen edwards and jason collett //Mod Club // $15
10//outhud //Horseshoe // $10
14//angels of light w/ m. gira, akron/family and picastro //Music Gallery //$13-$15
17//the shins //Kool Haus, //$21
18//m ward //Lee's Palace, //$12.50
19//m83 and ulrich schnauss //Lee's Palace, //$15
26//arcade fire //Danforth Music Hall // $20
may
9//prefuse 73 //Lee's Palace, //$15
11//the mountain goats //Lee's Palace, //$11
21//the decemberists //Lee's Palace, //$15
28//Sam prekop //Horseshoe, //$12
21//LCD Soundsystem & M.I.A //Opera House//prices unannounced
and although it's too expensive, i think it's important to list:
may 16//doves and mercury rev //Kool Haus, //$25.75
not to mention of course the Bloc Party this saturday. tickets still available if i'm not mistaken.
i'd kill to see the arcade fire and sam prekop. i'd also like to see the shins, but that's a bit pricey for me. i'm not even here for sam prekop, and LCD SOUNDSYSTEM AND MIA. that's going to be the funnest show of the year. dammmmmiiiiiitttttt.....
but ok. arcade fire -- i wanna go to that for sure. maybe out hud, and maybe m ward, and maybe the shins. why...why am i so poor....
so there you go. cheap but great music. enjoy folks!
marvelous things
goodness i'm hungry. i just realized upon waking up that it's been almost 16 hours since my last meal. i've gotta get used to those early dinner and no breakfast. oops.
it's another beautiful day outside. i wonder what it is about the sun that makes us so happy, so energized. if someone could bottle that feeling, they would have the worlds most popular drug on their hands.
an an unrelated note, the girls here at ACF have been doing a book for women's cell this term, and i'm not sure if i heard it talking to one of them, or perhaps from a speaker or something...but someone once mentioned that guys tend to compartmentalize their lives, while women's lives are more like spider webs -- one thing can affect every facet of their lives.
i wonder some days if that's true or not?
if we're suppose to have God in every facet of our lives then, does that almost mean the ladies have an advantage since they already are naturally inclined to paint their lives with one big brush? does that mean it's more natural for guys to put God in a box and harder for us to break out of that?
it sometimes feels that way i suppose. but i recognize that life being a "spider web" means it can also be harder to walk with God everyday because things can throw you off so much easier.
how much can we learn about ourselves before we start looking for things that aren't there?
to summarize, photoshop is fun. i saw billy use this effect on some photos he took, and i was like....i wanna learn how to do that, hahaha
it's another beautiful day outside. i wonder what it is about the sun that makes us so happy, so energized. if someone could bottle that feeling, they would have the worlds most popular drug on their hands.
an an unrelated note, the girls here at ACF have been doing a book for women's cell this term, and i'm not sure if i heard it talking to one of them, or perhaps from a speaker or something...but someone once mentioned that guys tend to compartmentalize their lives, while women's lives are more like spider webs -- one thing can affect every facet of their lives.
i wonder some days if that's true or not?
if we're suppose to have God in every facet of our lives then, does that almost mean the ladies have an advantage since they already are naturally inclined to paint their lives with one big brush? does that mean it's more natural for guys to put God in a box and harder for us to break out of that?
it sometimes feels that way i suppose. but i recognize that life being a "spider web" means it can also be harder to walk with God everyday because things can throw you off so much easier.
how much can we learn about ourselves before we start looking for things that aren't there?
to summarize, photoshop is fun. i saw billy use this effect on some photos he took, and i was like....i wanna learn how to do that, hahaha
Mar 29, 2005
caught halo
one of the downsides of being a musical fiend are that you spend a lot of energy trying to find specific artists. case in point, i've been looking for the entire jen wood discography in a high quality for at least the last 4 years.
and now.....now i finally have them all in glorious 192 quality. every last album and ep.
thank you...thank you. i couldn't have done it without bittorrent.
and now.....now i finally have them all in glorious 192 quality. every last album and ep.
thank you...thank you. i couldn't have done it without bittorrent.
Mar 28, 2005
my mathematical mind
i figured since my move to blogspot seems pretty set, i'd spruce the place up a bit.
anyways, 3 weeks until freedom. 2 days until an assignment is due. 2 weeks until exams. i hope my time here is more than a mere countdown.
i can't believe how messed up this page looks on IE. stop using IE people. if you haven't jumped on the firefox bandwagon, hurry up.
grad night this friday at acf.....what to say....what to say....
i read an article in ad-busters that said the great irony of the modern cultural rift is that christianity is at the heart of the seperation between european and american culture.
because americans are predominantly a christian culture, europeans are alienated because modern europe is done with religion. centuries of the catholic church and two wars later, europe has -- amazingly -- become the first major culture of social conciousness.
the twist being naturally, that in the course of doing so, european culture may actually be more "christian" than american.
an interesting observation, though not full of questions.
however, maybe this explains why canada is so confused. in the schism of american conservatism and european socialism, perhaps we're trying to find a happy compromise.
that's an encouraging thought.
anyways, 3 weeks until freedom. 2 days until an assignment is due. 2 weeks until exams. i hope my time here is more than a mere countdown.
i can't believe how messed up this page looks on IE. stop using IE people. if you haven't jumped on the firefox bandwagon, hurry up.
grad night this friday at acf.....what to say....what to say....
i read an article in ad-busters that said the great irony of the modern cultural rift is that christianity is at the heart of the seperation between european and american culture.
because americans are predominantly a christian culture, europeans are alienated because modern europe is done with religion. centuries of the catholic church and two wars later, europe has -- amazingly -- become the first major culture of social conciousness.
the twist being naturally, that in the course of doing so, european culture may actually be more "christian" than american.
an interesting observation, though not full of questions.
however, maybe this explains why canada is so confused. in the schism of american conservatism and european socialism, perhaps we're trying to find a happy compromise.
that's an encouraging thought.
Mar 24, 2005
the news
bloc party on april 2.
ok go on april 5.
raising the fawn on april 7.
weezer on may 6.
decisions decisions.
why am i so poor?
right now weezer is pretty much a given, i'll be lining up saturday afternoon. bloc party tickets are cheap too, so i think i can actually afford that one.
who wants to join me?
ok go on april 5.
raising the fawn on april 7.
weezer on may 6.
decisions decisions.
why am i so poor?
right now weezer is pretty much a given, i'll be lining up saturday afternoon. bloc party tickets are cheap too, so i think i can actually afford that one.
who wants to join me?
Mar 22, 2005
hit the switch
i've gotten such good rest over the last two days. something like 24 hours of sleep in the last two nights or something along those lines. so nice....
here's a fun little tidbit: ever wish while roller blading that you could just go FASTER? well now you can. all you have to do is strap an engine and wheel to your ass. yes, someone finally invented it: the rollercycle
i was browsing around and i noticed that everyone is obsessed with pictures. i felt compelled to try and keep up, so i finally got around to uploading some photos. some of which are a few years old already. ah well, better late than never i guess.
it seems that the less i update, the more comments just start to accumulate. is it like a boredom thing? nothing else to do but create your own content? i like it. less work for me.
is it just me, or as each generation graduates from university, they become less and less concerned with finding a job and more and more concerned with seeing the world?
here's a fun little tidbit: ever wish while roller blading that you could just go FASTER? well now you can. all you have to do is strap an engine and wheel to your ass. yes, someone finally invented it: the rollercycle
i was browsing around and i noticed that everyone is obsessed with pictures. i felt compelled to try and keep up, so i finally got around to uploading some photos. some of which are a few years old already. ah well, better late than never i guess.
it seems that the less i update, the more comments just start to accumulate. is it like a boredom thing? nothing else to do but create your own content? i like it. less work for me.
is it just me, or as each generation graduates from university, they become less and less concerned with finding a job and more and more concerned with seeing the world?
Mar 18, 2005
plans
waiting for tomorrow is a waste of today
so i read that quote from my bathroom reader while sitting on the john. i find that many realizations about life tend to come while in the washroom. truly, such a place of solace; a fortress of solitude.
not so much a realization i suppose, as much as a motivation.
it's starting to appear that i indeed will be going to asia right after school ends, and i officially begin the rest of my life.
between ivan, brian, and myself, i think we all have our own reasons for wanting to go on this trip. fun, reflection, excitment, experience, learning, shopping. the reasons are actually more than i can count. but i think personally, one bigh thing is i want to really see the world, and learn to experience god not just in the comfort of north america, but through his presence world wide. to drink in all his creation, and get an idea of how he is moving and working, particularly in poorer nations.
there's so much i want to learn. so much. to grow, to change, to be formed.
it's exciting, challenging, encouraging and daunting all at once.
so i read that quote from my bathroom reader while sitting on the john. i find that many realizations about life tend to come while in the washroom. truly, such a place of solace; a fortress of solitude.
not so much a realization i suppose, as much as a motivation.
it's starting to appear that i indeed will be going to asia right after school ends, and i officially begin the rest of my life.
between ivan, brian, and myself, i think we all have our own reasons for wanting to go on this trip. fun, reflection, excitment, experience, learning, shopping. the reasons are actually more than i can count. but i think personally, one bigh thing is i want to really see the world, and learn to experience god not just in the comfort of north america, but through his presence world wide. to drink in all his creation, and get an idea of how he is moving and working, particularly in poorer nations.
there's so much i want to learn. so much. to grow, to change, to be formed.
it's exciting, challenging, encouraging and daunting all at once.
Mar 16, 2005
show me everything you've got
paranoia runs rampant as i attempt to normalize my school habits. thankfully good news was in the cards today, and a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders. thank you God.
despite the fact that i do in fact have a short assignment due tomorrow morning (basketball at 8:30 anyone?), i'm feeling quite good about things right now.
life.....is better than i deserve, despite my attempts to screw it up.
here's something fun to tide you all over until i have more entertaining things to write about.
make your own superhero!
despite the fact that i do in fact have a short assignment due tomorrow morning (basketball at 8:30 anyone?), i'm feeling quite good about things right now.
life.....is better than i deserve, despite my attempts to screw it up.
here's something fun to tide you all over until i have more entertaining things to write about.
make your own superhero!
Mar 12, 2005
retreat! retreat!
i'm so sorry this slipped my mind, but a happy belated birthday to wendy! i'm really sorry i couldn't make your party, and particularly so because i basically had the date changed to accomodate me. errrr....oops.
either way, hope it was a blast and may you have many blessed years of auditing to come.
that sounded better in my head.
home for a few days! may the battle against procrastination commence.
either way, hope it was a blast and may you have many blessed years of auditing to come.
that sounded better in my head.
home for a few days! may the battle against procrastination commence.
Mar 11, 2005
i trawl the megahertz
i woke up at 4pm this afternoon, and almost assuredly only because connie called to see why she hadn't heard from me all day. whats wrong with me? haven't been able to sleep well altely. or early for that matter. not cool. anyways, quick update on whats been going on 'round these parts i guess
went to the stars/apostle of hustle show yesterday night, good times was had by all. it was alright, although apostle of hustle in my opinion stole the show big time even though they were the opener. stars just sound kind of anemic live i've found from both times i've seen them, although this show it was particularly evident that without a full stage of backing musicians they lose a lot of their punch. the viscerality of their songs are really defined by the textures and subtle layers that they create. stripping that away makes their live show seem kind of like....a cover band trying to play stars songs. it's odd. but all and all, it was still a fun show. the moment of the night however.....
me and joel are laughing about a bowel movement he had that he seemed strangely proud of. upon looking down, he asks me "simon. is that what i think it is?"
i particularly like the look on his face in this photo. it's like he just found an endangered species or something as he proudly poses with it. it was just classic. moreover, i just noticed that the random stranger is also posing and pointing along with joel, even though he's barely in the picture. way to be buddy! way to get in with that condom!
are these london teens that desperate to get it on that they can't even make it to the washrooms for their exhibitionist kicks? were they just filming a porno before they let the crowd in? was it "free condom night" the night before?
along with cricket and pop-tart filling, i guess it'll remain a mystery.
in other news, who wants to expand their musical library for free, and without the hassle of those pesky p2p programs?
the SXSW festival this year has compiled an archive of samples of EVERY artist participating in the festival this year. that's right! full songs! they're encrypted at a very decent 160kbs and available for free download at their site here
it's free, it's legally sponsored, and it's a great way to hear some great new music. the files are torrent files, so if you don't know what bittorrent is, the sxsw site has a quick primer on that too.
one note of warning, the main file is a 2.6 gig file, so it will take a while to download. there's an update file with about 25 songs that's around 85 megs as well, so enjoy all you can folks!
went to the stars/apostle of hustle show yesterday night, good times was had by all. it was alright, although apostle of hustle in my opinion stole the show big time even though they were the opener. stars just sound kind of anemic live i've found from both times i've seen them, although this show it was particularly evident that without a full stage of backing musicians they lose a lot of their punch. the viscerality of their songs are really defined by the textures and subtle layers that they create. stripping that away makes their live show seem kind of like....a cover band trying to play stars songs. it's odd. but all and all, it was still a fun show. the moment of the night however.....
me and joel are laughing about a bowel movement he had that he seemed strangely proud of. upon looking down, he asks me "simon. is that what i think it is?"
i particularly like the look on his face in this photo. it's like he just found an endangered species or something as he proudly poses with it. it was just classic. moreover, i just noticed that the random stranger is also posing and pointing along with joel, even though he's barely in the picture. way to be buddy! way to get in with that condom!
are these london teens that desperate to get it on that they can't even make it to the washrooms for their exhibitionist kicks? were they just filming a porno before they let the crowd in? was it "free condom night" the night before?
along with cricket and pop-tart filling, i guess it'll remain a mystery.
in other news, who wants to expand their musical library for free, and without the hassle of those pesky p2p programs?
the SXSW festival this year has compiled an archive of samples of EVERY artist participating in the festival this year. that's right! full songs! they're encrypted at a very decent 160kbs and available for free download at their site here
it's free, it's legally sponsored, and it's a great way to hear some great new music. the files are torrent files, so if you don't know what bittorrent is, the sxsw site has a quick primer on that too.
one note of warning, the main file is a 2.6 gig file, so it will take a while to download. there's an update file with about 25 songs that's around 85 megs as well, so enjoy all you can folks!
Mar 8, 2005
when they really get to know you they will run
so here's the new game: every post title will be a song title. guess the artist and win a cookie! the last two posts are actually song titles too. three cookies! what more could you ask for? and no, the song and artist are in no relation to what the post is about, but they ARE usually the song i'm listening to at the time of posting.
i'm...basically done this essay. but i must sleep now, for i want to make it to 9am class for a change. the corner must be turned before i crash and burn....ed. look at me go. i'm a rap master.
as i was disrobing for the shower (there's a mental image) i decided to flex my arm just to take a gander at how far i've fallen since i was sort of in better shape than i am at this exact current moment. am i an egomanic? or is that pretty normal? i'm sure other people do it. stop lying to me. anyways, long story short, i think i hurt my bicep.
have you ever tried so hard to focus on a task that your mind just shuts down? i think i've pretty much hit that wall tonight.
i think it's crazy how old we're all getting. i was just thinking about my own time here at western, hearing news of old aquaintances getting engaged, seeing my brother married, realizing that even my own life is pretty far out at the moment -- it's all pretty wild when you put it into perspective and step back. i mean, we're far from being old, but i remember a time when i used to think that i was also far from being grown up, more mature, all that crap. there was a time not long ago when i clearly felt i was still just a kid, and i didn't want to grow up, and i felt like i wasn't ready for the real world.
but here we are. on the cusp of...life. sure, there may be more school. sure, there may be more of the same routine down the line. but i mean, our whole lives are ahead of us. we don't have any more road maps to direct us where to go. it's in our own hands now, and thats something i'm starting to realize is as exciting as it gets.
the possibilities are endless. and i refuse to be pigeonholed. i refuse to let myself limit my own future, limit my own potential, by assuming i know whats best for myself. because i realize that the older i get, the more i learn about how little i know. that as brazen and sure as i was in high school, i must now make up for it with humbleness towards reality and life, acknowledging how fleeting and fragile everything we have really is.
and i'm thankful for that. for everything. and thats all i guess i really wanted to say. i meant this to be a short post, but my mind numbing fatigue has caused quite the ramble.
today, i was peeling an orange, and i threw a piece of rind all the way across the room. i find i eat a lot of stuff i wouldn't normally eat when i'm procrastinating or taking "breaks" from work. which just tells me that i'm not meant to write essays about politics for a living. or else i'd become terribly obese, and probably rather unattractive, and i'd fall down some stairs and discover that i'd become so round, i was actually capable of rolling down the stairs like a giant soccer ball.
but then the tragic would happen, and i would crush the old lady at the bottom of the fire exit who collected bottlecaps from the mid 50's in her single bedroom apartment that often smelled like gingersnaps and earl grey tea.
and it would be seared into my mind, as my revolutions down the stairs brought my head around and around, with every orbit her imminent doom drawing nearer, and i, unable to stop myself due to the inertia of my giant hamster-ball shaped body. the horror.
what couldn't it have been me dammit? why??
she had so much life to live....
i'm...basically done this essay. but i must sleep now, for i want to make it to 9am class for a change. the corner must be turned before i crash and burn....ed. look at me go. i'm a rap master.
as i was disrobing for the shower (there's a mental image) i decided to flex my arm just to take a gander at how far i've fallen since i was sort of in better shape than i am at this exact current moment. am i an egomanic? or is that pretty normal? i'm sure other people do it. stop lying to me. anyways, long story short, i think i hurt my bicep.
have you ever tried so hard to focus on a task that your mind just shuts down? i think i've pretty much hit that wall tonight.
i think it's crazy how old we're all getting. i was just thinking about my own time here at western, hearing news of old aquaintances getting engaged, seeing my brother married, realizing that even my own life is pretty far out at the moment -- it's all pretty wild when you put it into perspective and step back. i mean, we're far from being old, but i remember a time when i used to think that i was also far from being grown up, more mature, all that crap. there was a time not long ago when i clearly felt i was still just a kid, and i didn't want to grow up, and i felt like i wasn't ready for the real world.
but here we are. on the cusp of...life. sure, there may be more school. sure, there may be more of the same routine down the line. but i mean, our whole lives are ahead of us. we don't have any more road maps to direct us where to go. it's in our own hands now, and thats something i'm starting to realize is as exciting as it gets.
the possibilities are endless. and i refuse to be pigeonholed. i refuse to let myself limit my own future, limit my own potential, by assuming i know whats best for myself. because i realize that the older i get, the more i learn about how little i know. that as brazen and sure as i was in high school, i must now make up for it with humbleness towards reality and life, acknowledging how fleeting and fragile everything we have really is.
and i'm thankful for that. for everything. and thats all i guess i really wanted to say. i meant this to be a short post, but my mind numbing fatigue has caused quite the ramble.
today, i was peeling an orange, and i threw a piece of rind all the way across the room. i find i eat a lot of stuff i wouldn't normally eat when i'm procrastinating or taking "breaks" from work. which just tells me that i'm not meant to write essays about politics for a living. or else i'd become terribly obese, and probably rather unattractive, and i'd fall down some stairs and discover that i'd become so round, i was actually capable of rolling down the stairs like a giant soccer ball.
but then the tragic would happen, and i would crush the old lady at the bottom of the fire exit who collected bottlecaps from the mid 50's in her single bedroom apartment that often smelled like gingersnaps and earl grey tea.
and it would be seared into my mind, as my revolutions down the stairs brought my head around and around, with every orbit her imminent doom drawing nearer, and i, unable to stop myself due to the inertia of my giant hamster-ball shaped body. the horror.
what couldn't it have been me dammit? why??
she had so much life to live....
Mar 7, 2005
kitchen love
and so ends the (too short) run of probably my favourite website in the world.
CBC RADIO 3
they have a few of their favourite issues up, and even though i've posted this link repeatedly, if you haven't checked this site out yet, please do before it's gone.
you won't regret it.
CBC RADIO 3
they have a few of their favourite issues up, and even though i've posted this link repeatedly, if you haven't checked this site out yet, please do before it's gone.
you won't regret it.
Mar 6, 2005
fitting into fake
you ever have a dream that really, when you break it down, makes no sense whatsoever? but still, for some reason you wake up kind pf panicked, kind of scared, as if in your dream you were fighting for your life and just about to lose?
even though in actuallity, all you did in your dream was eat at a buffet, then drive to red lobster to eat some more?
one odd note, it wasn't my car i was driving, and the gear shift in the car was....like, stuck on the floor, right in front of the brake. i had to use the gearshift as a gas pedal after putting the car in gear.
rrrrrrriiiight.....
even though in actuallity, all you did in your dream was eat at a buffet, then drive to red lobster to eat some more?
one odd note, it wasn't my car i was driving, and the gear shift in the car was....like, stuck on the floor, right in front of the brake. i had to use the gearshift as a gas pedal after putting the car in gear.
rrrrrrriiiight.....
Mar 4, 2005
all that jazz
i think if i had to choose one superpower, it would be the ability to play any instrument in the world really really amazingly purely by natural instinct. how cool would that be?
sure, flying or something could be nice, but you'd probably have to wear some sort of helmet, and it'd probably hurt like a bitch whenever you flew into a rock or something.
sure, flying or something could be nice, but you'd probably have to wear some sort of helmet, and it'd probably hurt like a bitch whenever you flew into a rock or something.
Mar 3, 2005
mirror mirror on the wall....
so i find myself swamped with a massive to-do list upon returning, and i'm just trying to keep my head above water. the daunting amount of tasks i have to do just to maintain any semblence of a plan for my future continues to intimidate me.
however, my topic du jour is actually music and globalization. i watched a video in pop music class the other day about a black jewish gospel singer. yea.....it's like he was asking to be marginalized.
but anyways, my whole class afterwards was like "i was so in awe of how he was able to unify people and break down barriers with his music, singing jewish gosepl songs and stuff"
my question was: is his ability to unite musical? or religious?
i find myself thinking about the phenomena of worship music, and that christians all over the world are singing the same songs! i think it's amazing that you can walk into churches from canada, to egypt, to sweden and china, and everyone will recognize the song "here i am to worship".
at the same time however, i sometimes worry if as well intentioned as this spread of worship music may be, it isn't simply a subversive means of conformity and cultural imperialism not-so-subtely taking a religious guise.
granted, people usually translate the words into native tounges, but the music itself remains the same. even more familiar than worship songs are hyms -- amazing grace is a universally recognized tune i would think among all christians.
but why? why are overwhelmingly anglo-american musical ideals the status quo? i realize that christianity is inherently westernized (ironically, since it originated from the middle east...but hey, white people will steal anything) but how come there is such a unilateral flow of culture?
why don't we here in canada ever sing swedish worship tunes? or chinese worship songs? i know they're out there. but it just doesn't happen. sure -- north american churches send out way more people than we get back -- naturally that means we're spreading more of ourselves then we're recieving of other cultures. but does that account for the fact that....by and large, we don't care for the music of other cultures?
if our worship music is driven largely by social musical convention (which is a pretty safe assumption to make in my mind) then doesn't that mean our cultural spread through missionary work and such is actually aiding in the creating of a uniform culture of christianity that values familiarity over diversity?
i guess it's not surprising. after all, as much as people like to say christianity endorses differences in people, i often find most christians actually mean christianity endorses differences*
whereby you can onyl be different in so far as you're still pretty much the same.
the truly different are either wrong, or....well.....ignored.
i understand that much of religion involves conformity to a certain extent, but.....does this ultimately mean god wants the entire world to be....well.....english speaking conservatives, who dig guitars and sing-along choruses, along with non provacative yet uplifting cliches?
often in musicals, protagonists are associated with a musical theme in a major key, while antagonists often are associated with minor keys and dissonance. unhappy music represents "otherness". happy music represents the familiar.
so....is there no room for dissonance in christianity? as a religion, is christianity just a culture of major chords? can things be reduced to such a binary relationship? is it really that cut and dry?
i have no answers. and i'm not criticizing as much as i'm questioning.
just a thought.
however, my topic du jour is actually music and globalization. i watched a video in pop music class the other day about a black jewish gospel singer. yea.....it's like he was asking to be marginalized.
but anyways, my whole class afterwards was like "i was so in awe of how he was able to unify people and break down barriers with his music, singing jewish gosepl songs and stuff"
my question was: is his ability to unite musical? or religious?
i find myself thinking about the phenomena of worship music, and that christians all over the world are singing the same songs! i think it's amazing that you can walk into churches from canada, to egypt, to sweden and china, and everyone will recognize the song "here i am to worship".
at the same time however, i sometimes worry if as well intentioned as this spread of worship music may be, it isn't simply a subversive means of conformity and cultural imperialism not-so-subtely taking a religious guise.
granted, people usually translate the words into native tounges, but the music itself remains the same. even more familiar than worship songs are hyms -- amazing grace is a universally recognized tune i would think among all christians.
but why? why are overwhelmingly anglo-american musical ideals the status quo? i realize that christianity is inherently westernized (ironically, since it originated from the middle east...but hey, white people will steal anything) but how come there is such a unilateral flow of culture?
why don't we here in canada ever sing swedish worship tunes? or chinese worship songs? i know they're out there. but it just doesn't happen. sure -- north american churches send out way more people than we get back -- naturally that means we're spreading more of ourselves then we're recieving of other cultures. but does that account for the fact that....by and large, we don't care for the music of other cultures?
if our worship music is driven largely by social musical convention (which is a pretty safe assumption to make in my mind) then doesn't that mean our cultural spread through missionary work and such is actually aiding in the creating of a uniform culture of christianity that values familiarity over diversity?
i guess it's not surprising. after all, as much as people like to say christianity endorses differences in people, i often find most christians actually mean christianity endorses differences*
whereby you can onyl be different in so far as you're still pretty much the same.
the truly different are either wrong, or....well.....ignored.
i understand that much of religion involves conformity to a certain extent, but.....does this ultimately mean god wants the entire world to be....well.....english speaking conservatives, who dig guitars and sing-along choruses, along with non provacative yet uplifting cliches?
often in musicals, protagonists are associated with a musical theme in a major key, while antagonists often are associated with minor keys and dissonance. unhappy music represents "otherness". happy music represents the familiar.
so....is there no room for dissonance in christianity? as a religion, is christianity just a culture of major chords? can things be reduced to such a binary relationship? is it really that cut and dry?
i have no answers. and i'm not criticizing as much as i'm questioning.
just a thought.
Feb 28, 2005
heath ledger is the new matt damon
There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper
Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I’ve been here before
But I know there’s still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)
For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head
they did this starfield song at con's church sunday and it's been kind of stuck in my head since. i guess i just feel it's a welcome reminder of my priorities in life. to be thankful, and to be real.
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper
Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I’ve been here before
But I know there’s still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)
For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head
they did this starfield song at con's church sunday and it's been kind of stuck in my head since. i guess i just feel it's a welcome reminder of my priorities in life. to be thankful, and to be real.
top of the 7th
and so i return to ontario -- where the air is smoggy and the streets are dirtier. flying in i'm always in awe of the expanse that toronto covers and i think how beautiful it is. then i remember that the glow into the night sky isn't really natural. then i get kind of concerned and start to wonder, but...in the end.....it's just nice to be home.
thanks to putzy and family for a great reading week. west edmonton mall is much smaller than i remember. also, buckets of thanks to the cowtown folks for not only taking time out to treat us to some great times and food (and letting us crash in their mad pimped out cribs) but for being such great hosts for the city of calgary. we are truly in debt to you all.
speaking of you calgary folk, happy belated birthday bev! hope you had a blast! and a big happy birthday to timothy as well. sorry i wasn't around for your soiree this weekend, i hope you also had an "amaxing" weekend.
i credit that word to ryan. i think he has it trademarked.
back to school tomorrow to close out my university career. i feel tired. yet....inspired.
good night.
thanks to putzy and family for a great reading week. west edmonton mall is much smaller than i remember. also, buckets of thanks to the cowtown folks for not only taking time out to treat us to some great times and food (and letting us crash in their mad pimped out cribs) but for being such great hosts for the city of calgary. we are truly in debt to you all.
speaking of you calgary folk, happy belated birthday bev! hope you had a blast! and a big happy birthday to timothy as well. sorry i wasn't around for your soiree this weekend, i hope you also had an "amaxing" weekend.
i credit that word to ryan. i think he has it trademarked.
back to school tomorrow to close out my university career. i feel tired. yet....inspired.
good night.
Feb 15, 2005
pothole hunting
there are more chasms on the streets of london than there are cars. it's ridiculous. i can't drive one block without dodging left and right like luke skywalker through the heart of the deathstar.
but i guess that's kind of like how our days seem to go by sometimes.
ironically, i saw a truck patching holes out front and i thought to myself....what took so long? the sooner the better with these things, it'll be one less hole to dodge every day.
it's strange how life can so often present us with a microcosm of.....life.
i'm thankful for great friends here in london, despite my protestations towards social gatherings. so often it's not about what we want, but what god has in store for us. more often than not, those two are entirely different expectations.
on an unrelated notes, some songs just make you want to cry because they're so well written. for me -- this is one of them:
Poison Oak some boyhood bravery.
when the telephone was a tin can on a string.
and I fell asleep with you still talking to me.
you said you weren't afraid to die.
In polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes.
were you made ashamed whyd you lock them in the drawer.
And I don't think that I ever loved you more.
Than when you turned away.
When you slammed the door.
When you stole the car drove towards Mexico.
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm.
I was young then I still believed in war.
But let the poets cry themselves to sleep.
and all their tearful words would turn back into steam.
me Im a single cell on a serpents tongue.
and theres a muddy field where a garden was
and I'm glad you got away.
but I'm still stuck out hear.
my clothes are soaking wet from your brothers tears.
And I never thought this life was possible.
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for.
The end of paralysis I was a statuette
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench,
And when I press the keys it all gets reversed.
The sound of lonliness makes me happier.
- bright eyes (poison oak)
that last verse is.....just....
wow.
but i guess that's kind of like how our days seem to go by sometimes.
ironically, i saw a truck patching holes out front and i thought to myself....what took so long? the sooner the better with these things, it'll be one less hole to dodge every day.
it's strange how life can so often present us with a microcosm of.....life.
i'm thankful for great friends here in london, despite my protestations towards social gatherings. so often it's not about what we want, but what god has in store for us. more often than not, those two are entirely different expectations.
on an unrelated notes, some songs just make you want to cry because they're so well written. for me -- this is one of them:
Poison Oak some boyhood bravery.
when the telephone was a tin can on a string.
and I fell asleep with you still talking to me.
you said you weren't afraid to die.
In polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes.
were you made ashamed whyd you lock them in the drawer.
And I don't think that I ever loved you more.
Than when you turned away.
When you slammed the door.
When you stole the car drove towards Mexico.
And you wrote bad checks just to fill your arm.
I was young then I still believed in war.
But let the poets cry themselves to sleep.
and all their tearful words would turn back into steam.
me Im a single cell on a serpents tongue.
and theres a muddy field where a garden was
and I'm glad you got away.
but I'm still stuck out hear.
my clothes are soaking wet from your brothers tears.
And I never thought this life was possible.
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for.
The end of paralysis I was a statuette
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench,
And when I press the keys it all gets reversed.
The sound of lonliness makes me happier.
- bright eyes (poison oak)
that last verse is.....just....
wow.
Feb 12, 2005
Feb 11, 2005
get that worm
yes, the webcam is up (most of the day). enjoy to your voyeuristic hearts content.
i don't think i can classify what i did last night as "sleeping". it really was more like napping. suffice to say, my mind was preoccupied. mostly with trying to understand why i couldn't sleep. a catch-22 some might say, and i wouldn't disagree, but i don't care enough to analyze it. all i know is i couldn't sleep, so i might as well go do something productive and run around.
does it ever seem like the more you set out to do in a day, the less you seem to accomplish? as ridiculous as it sounds, i think i need to simplify my life and strip away all the crap that isn't really serving a real purpose. some people are looking for more in life....i think i need to learn to enjoy the basics, and not take things that i have for granted.
i've always been lazy. i've always been indifferent, apathetic, indifferent to a fault. but it's never worried me like it does at the moment -- with my entire future hanging in the balance.
that's always been my problem. i've been told so many times that i just never do what i say i will -- do what i should -- and as a result, what i could. i think back to (literally) grade one report cards that say:
"simon has lots of potential but hasn't reached it yet. he also talks too much"
why don't i care? the million dollar question. i'd give anything to have the desire and passion of Paul, or the faith and patience of Job. i don't have it rough, but until i care, i'll never have it great.
i'm tired of being potential....or existing for the sake of existing.
7But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
phil 3:7-11
i told my small group at acf retreat how badly i want to have that kind of passion. something in my heart that i too could throw all of myself into, and throw everything else by the wayside in order to have it.
what drives people to live everyday....responsibility? dreams? obligation? routine?
i know what i want to drive me, but i can say that right now, it's not all that much. but i'm driven to figure out why i'm not driven. and i guess thats a start.
now to go work on my floater and outside jumper....
i don't think i can classify what i did last night as "sleeping". it really was more like napping. suffice to say, my mind was preoccupied. mostly with trying to understand why i couldn't sleep. a catch-22 some might say, and i wouldn't disagree, but i don't care enough to analyze it. all i know is i couldn't sleep, so i might as well go do something productive and run around.
does it ever seem like the more you set out to do in a day, the less you seem to accomplish? as ridiculous as it sounds, i think i need to simplify my life and strip away all the crap that isn't really serving a real purpose. some people are looking for more in life....i think i need to learn to enjoy the basics, and not take things that i have for granted.
i've always been lazy. i've always been indifferent, apathetic, indifferent to a fault. but it's never worried me like it does at the moment -- with my entire future hanging in the balance.
that's always been my problem. i've been told so many times that i just never do what i say i will -- do what i should -- and as a result, what i could. i think back to (literally) grade one report cards that say:
"simon has lots of potential but hasn't reached it yet. he also talks too much"
why don't i care? the million dollar question. i'd give anything to have the desire and passion of Paul, or the faith and patience of Job. i don't have it rough, but until i care, i'll never have it great.
i'm tired of being potential....or existing for the sake of existing.
7But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
phil 3:7-11
i told my small group at acf retreat how badly i want to have that kind of passion. something in my heart that i too could throw all of myself into, and throw everything else by the wayside in order to have it.
what drives people to live everyday....responsibility? dreams? obligation? routine?
i know what i want to drive me, but i can say that right now, it's not all that much. but i'm driven to figure out why i'm not driven. and i guess thats a start.
now to go work on my floater and outside jumper....
Feb 9, 2005
Feb 5, 2005
who is john galt?
on the continued topic of hygene, i was out to dinner at a chinese restaurant yesterday, and i went to the washroom. I was pleasantly surprised by how (relatively) clean the washroom was. I noticed that a little kid in there at the same time of me danced out of the can without washing his hands -- not uncommon among little children (right ry?).
i wonder though, is that really so bad? if everyone who uses the washroom then proceeds to wash their hands, doesn't that automatically make the water tap the single most dirty thing in the washroom because everyone touches it before their hands are clean?
someone should do a study....
on another note, is their a sadder evolution in parenting than the minivan-dvd-player?
it's not enough that you've pawned off the responsiblity of raising your children to this thing in your house, but you can't even take the time in your car to actually interact with them on a human level? are we really so lazy?
goodness people. i mean, i've never had a kid, so maybe i'm in no position to say. and i watched a lot of tv as a kid too, so maybe i'm being a hypocrite. but c'mon. i talked to my parents in the car or at dinner -- two places we didn't have television screens to distract us from having to acknowledge our mutal existences.....
i wonder though, is that really so bad? if everyone who uses the washroom then proceeds to wash their hands, doesn't that automatically make the water tap the single most dirty thing in the washroom because everyone touches it before their hands are clean?
someone should do a study....
on another note, is their a sadder evolution in parenting than the minivan-dvd-player?
it's not enough that you've pawned off the responsiblity of raising your children to this thing in your house, but you can't even take the time in your car to actually interact with them on a human level? are we really so lazy?
goodness people. i mean, i've never had a kid, so maybe i'm in no position to say. and i watched a lot of tv as a kid too, so maybe i'm being a hypocrite. but c'mon. i talked to my parents in the car or at dinner -- two places we didn't have television screens to distract us from having to acknowledge our mutal existences.....
Feb 2, 2005
lightning in a bottle
i will openly concede that if showering at home and nature calls, i have no qualms with staying exactly where i am. well, number 1 only of course. it all goes down the drain right? right.
meanwhile, in edmonton, connie is plotting her escape from stupidville.
i must add however, that this applies only if showering at toronto home, not in london. i withhold my stream of justice here at western because the drain in our tub here is not exactly silky smooth.
drainage problems do not make for very...relieving circumstances.
suffice it to say, if water starts to collect and you've let yourself go...urine trouble.
har har.
but i digress. i got to thinking, do girls ever pee in the shower? is that even possible? i mean, the topic of standing female urination has been broached by me several times (and quickly dismissed), but in the shower, would it matter? i mean, you're gonna end up cleaning yourself anyways right?
i wonder.....
and for the record, i firmly believe that more people go in the shower than actually admit to it. what's the shame? i don't get it. release the burden on your soul and your bladder! come out of the shower-peeing (water) closet!
i like to think of it as....efficient time management.
for some reason i was feeling punny when writing this post.
no pun intended.
meanwhile, in edmonton, connie is plotting her escape from stupidville.
i must add however, that this applies only if showering at toronto home, not in london. i withhold my stream of justice here at western because the drain in our tub here is not exactly silky smooth.
drainage problems do not make for very...relieving circumstances.
suffice it to say, if water starts to collect and you've let yourself go...urine trouble.
har har.
but i digress. i got to thinking, do girls ever pee in the shower? is that even possible? i mean, the topic of standing female urination has been broached by me several times (and quickly dismissed), but in the shower, would it matter? i mean, you're gonna end up cleaning yourself anyways right?
i wonder.....
and for the record, i firmly believe that more people go in the shower than actually admit to it. what's the shame? i don't get it. release the burden on your soul and your bladder! come out of the shower-peeing (water) closet!
i like to think of it as....efficient time management.
for some reason i was feeling punny when writing this post.
no pun intended.
Feb 1, 2005
dun duuuuuuuun......dun duuuuuuuuun.
i've been feeling things slow down a bit lately. i know part of it is because i'm allowing it to happen, but sometime just feel kind of helpless to stop myself from being lazy. i have to start learning to pray harder and actually believe that it has nothing to do with my own ability to change -- because right now, i think that ability would be....non-existant.
on the bright side, i've been blessed with a small group that continue's to amaze me. getting to know the froshies has been pretty cool, and it's been encouraging to see some of the quieter ones start to come out of their shell. cranium late game comebacks make for pratical bonding.
and thanks dor for letting us borrow it btw!
in other news, i have officially cracked open text books for TWO subjects now. i'm waaay behind. but the books have been used.
baby steps. baby steps.
on the bright side, i've been blessed with a small group that continue's to amaze me. getting to know the froshies has been pretty cool, and it's been encouraging to see some of the quieter ones start to come out of their shell. cranium late game comebacks make for pratical bonding.
and thanks dor for letting us borrow it btw!
in other news, i have officially cracked open text books for TWO subjects now. i'm waaay behind. but the books have been used.
baby steps. baby steps.
Jan 27, 2005
to light our darkest hour
yes, i'm refering to the autobot matrix of leadership.
but....
it's so hard to fathom the love that God has for us. to witness just a glimpse of his love poured out among us, between us -- watching people share, talk, laugh, and cry together as true brothers and sisters; one is hard pressed not to be amazed at his grace and faithfulness.
what once was hardened and cynical, dispassionate and apathetic, he has healed. He opened so many eyes, and broke down so many barriers. i can't even express the gratitute and encouragement i have for this group here at school as they (and i) continue to look out for each other and build these absolutely amazing bonds that are without compromise, and forged from honesty and love.
it's a welcome slap in my face, that i should never give up on God. there's such passion that has been built up, the kind of passion in life that can only come from a deep love, and equally important, the focus on the source of that love.
the source of our joy, of our passion, was made clear. not in school, not in work, not even in each other. but in Him.
something i hope i never to take for granted.
but....
it's so hard to fathom the love that God has for us. to witness just a glimpse of his love poured out among us, between us -- watching people share, talk, laugh, and cry together as true brothers and sisters; one is hard pressed not to be amazed at his grace and faithfulness.
what once was hardened and cynical, dispassionate and apathetic, he has healed. He opened so many eyes, and broke down so many barriers. i can't even express the gratitute and encouragement i have for this group here at school as they (and i) continue to look out for each other and build these absolutely amazing bonds that are without compromise, and forged from honesty and love.
it's a welcome slap in my face, that i should never give up on God. there's such passion that has been built up, the kind of passion in life that can only come from a deep love, and equally important, the focus on the source of that love.
the source of our joy, of our passion, was made clear. not in school, not in work, not even in each other. but in Him.
something i hope i never to take for granted.
Jan 26, 2005
it's not my bag baby
Yongfook.com
for those of you currently in japan or with thoughts of it. (japan is the new hotness)
witty writing is the main attraction of this amusing blog. a good read even if half this stuff is also available here in canada anways.
for those of you currently in japan or with thoughts of it. (japan is the new hotness)
witty writing is the main attraction of this amusing blog. a good read even if half this stuff is also available here in canada anways.
Jan 25, 2005
powered by vietnam
i've wasted so much time.
but better late than never.
i think its time i started writing again.
but better late than never.
i think its time i started writing again.
Jan 18, 2005
for best results, let sit for two minutes after heating
you know how when a bunch of us sit around an reflect on the state of todays children, we shake our heads and wax nostalgic about "the good old days"?
back when parks were death traps, making them just that more fun. when transformers was king of the cartoon hill, but we still had great filler material like thundercats, silver hawks, glow worms, and mask?
i always thought that the ignorance of our generation was an inherited trait of age -- who doesn't get caught say "back in my day" once they pass that twenty barrier? but, to my surprise, i'm noticing maybe it's not just our ego-maniacal posturing after all.
transformers is making a huge comeback. my little pony is back. board games are all the rage again. shoes from our child hood like sb dunks and air jordan fives are hot items now.
so if what's cool 20 years ago is cool right now, what's going to be cool 20 years from today?
i just don't get the whole thing. why pay top dollar for old stuff, when you could get new and unique items that not everybody else AND everybody elses grandparents already own?
on the bright side -- mmmm....transformers....
back when parks were death traps, making them just that more fun. when transformers was king of the cartoon hill, but we still had great filler material like thundercats, silver hawks, glow worms, and mask?
i always thought that the ignorance of our generation was an inherited trait of age -- who doesn't get caught say "back in my day" once they pass that twenty barrier? but, to my surprise, i'm noticing maybe it's not just our ego-maniacal posturing after all.
transformers is making a huge comeback. my little pony is back. board games are all the rage again. shoes from our child hood like sb dunks and air jordan fives are hot items now.
so if what's cool 20 years ago is cool right now, what's going to be cool 20 years from today?
i just don't get the whole thing. why pay top dollar for old stuff, when you could get new and unique items that not everybody else AND everybody elses grandparents already own?
on the bright side -- mmmm....transformers....
Jan 13, 2005
please retain this guide for future reference
and then somebody said
if someone is still single at this age, it means there's something wrong with them.
i wonder if thats true....hahahaha
if someone is still single at this age, it means there's something wrong with them.
i wonder if thats true....hahahaha
funny, she doesn't look druish
sometimes i wonder if getting a job is the worst thing we can do.
everyone i talk to seems to be scared to death of graduating and not working. of not being able to make money, or not being sucessful in the material sense.
there's just so much world out there.
graduate....get a job right away, sit in an office 9-5 everyday, 5 days a week. doesn't that seem like you're kind of sacrificing life for money? and sure, you could argue that money *is* life, but i'm pretty sure most of us know deep down nothings that trite.
life to me seems more the pursuit of purpose. of meaning. of doing what you were born to do, doing it well, and enjoying it.
maybe i'm just rationalizing my impending unemployed status, but i'd rather work at starbucks for a year and find what makes me tick than sit in an office for 30 years always wishing i had done more with myself.
everyone i talk to seems to be scared to death of graduating and not working. of not being able to make money, or not being sucessful in the material sense.
there's just so much world out there.
graduate....get a job right away, sit in an office 9-5 everyday, 5 days a week. doesn't that seem like you're kind of sacrificing life for money? and sure, you could argue that money *is* life, but i'm pretty sure most of us know deep down nothings that trite.
life to me seems more the pursuit of purpose. of meaning. of doing what you were born to do, doing it well, and enjoying it.
maybe i'm just rationalizing my impending unemployed status, but i'd rather work at starbucks for a year and find what makes me tick than sit in an office for 30 years always wishing i had done more with myself.
Jan 12, 2005
refrigerate after opening
a scene from my upcoming feature film debut: "the sword in the stoned"
an lcd alarm clock blinks 12 as a hand reaches out to hit the snooze button. pan out to young asian female in bed, struggling to wake up in the morning. it is still not entirely bright outside
the phone rings, and she frustrantingly gropes around her desk, feeling for the phone with her hands until she at last finds it and groggily answers
*a raspy and ominous male voice appears on the line*
"hello?"
"your breakfast is burning"
"what?"
"your eggs are overcooked"
"who is this?"
"your toast is nearly black"
"what are you talking about?"
suspciously, the girl becomes more awake, sitting up as the conversation continues to confuse and frighten her
"your pancakes are soggy"
"i have to go now...."
*brief pause in conversation*
"is this allison?"
"no..."
"oh, what number is this?"
"417-9872"
"oh...i meant to dial 9782"
"oh. yea, thats not me"
"i'm so sorry about that. boy, is my face red"
"it happens"
"well, uh....good bye then"
"yup, later"
and so the plot thickens......
will the mystery caller find allison? will the girl in bed ever get up? IS SOMEONE'S BREAKFAST REALLY RUINED?
all this and more, coming summer 2005.
an lcd alarm clock blinks 12 as a hand reaches out to hit the snooze button. pan out to young asian female in bed, struggling to wake up in the morning. it is still not entirely bright outside
the phone rings, and she frustrantingly gropes around her desk, feeling for the phone with her hands until she at last finds it and groggily answers
*a raspy and ominous male voice appears on the line*
"hello?"
"your breakfast is burning"
"what?"
"your eggs are overcooked"
"who is this?"
"your toast is nearly black"
"what are you talking about?"
suspciously, the girl becomes more awake, sitting up as the conversation continues to confuse and frighten her
"your pancakes are soggy"
"i have to go now...."
*brief pause in conversation*
"is this allison?"
"no..."
"oh, what number is this?"
"417-9872"
"oh...i meant to dial 9782"
"oh. yea, thats not me"
"i'm so sorry about that. boy, is my face red"
"it happens"
"well, uh....good bye then"
"yup, later"
and so the plot thickens......
will the mystery caller find allison? will the girl in bed ever get up? IS SOMEONE'S BREAKFAST REALLY RUINED?
all this and more, coming summer 2005.
Jan 8, 2005
"I was fortunate to have the talent ... you get spoiled when you're able to do a lot of things. You see that you don't have to work at it."
vince carter
here's a familiar sight to toronto basketball fans. vince carter, rolling around on the ground, acting like a soccer player aspiring for a daytime emmy.
"next on our tour of toronto is the cn tower, situated beside the slightly dated but instantly recognizable skydome. these twin landmarks have become staples of the toronto landscape over the years, appearing in various movies and television shows.
and if you'll look to your right, there's vince carter pretending to be injured again. lets all give him a big wave folks!
now if you'll follow me, we'll soon be entering union station, where...."
watching this team over the last 5 years, i'm so used to seeing carter go down it isn't even a worrying sight anymore. usually when you see an injury during a sporting event, your first thought is is usually -- boy, i hope he's ok.
but not with vince. ohhhh no. with vince, it so gradually and frustratingly became -- again? whatever man. what a wanker.
and so, he came to resent the city. the team. the "haters" who called him soft, lazy, uninspired, and scared to step up and lead his team. instead of taking that challenge right in the face and proving his doubters wrong, he decided he wanted to run away.
this confession -- that he wasn't trying his best in toronto. it's the kind of thing that makes a fan want to run onto the court and bitch-slap a man so badly you'd think he kicked your momma.
so often people can't take the pressure of being a role model. what do you tell the kids who looked up to him? to the fans who supported him for the first oh.....four years of injury plagued half-assed effort? how do you expect your peers to respect you not only as a player -- but as a man, when you admit you're not trying your best when you're paid millions of dollars to play a game millions play for sheer love of the sport?
and then i thought -- well. isn't there a little bit of vince carter in all of us?
how often have i -- as a student, as a christian, as a boyfriend, as a son, as a friend -- not given it my all? how many times can i recall that i've made excuses, been lazy, and not put my best efforts into whats in front of me?
too many to count.
but i can't be mad at him. i can't point fingers and lay blame. all i can do is pity him, because of the moral that he teaches myself, and hopefully, so many other people in the world.
i can just look at him and think: now that -- that's everything i never want to be like.
i hope i'm sucessful.
Jan 7, 2005
the combination is: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
i thought maybe i'd start spring cleaning a bit early this year. hope its too everyone's liking. i've already been told my winter motif for the message board is unappreciated, haha (you know who you are!!...)
but i digress.
enjoy the update, and lets all wonder aloud whether i'm actually up this early, or if i stayed up all night. the actual answer may surprise you....
but i digress.
enjoy the update, and lets all wonder aloud whether i'm actually up this early, or if i stayed up all night. the actual answer may surprise you....
Jan 4, 2005
2005: where are the hover boards and auto-lacing shoes?
Try to get some rest,
count backward from ten.
You've gone too long without sleep
I know you can't rest stressed, so give up.
Don't say no to pills,
Ativin won't kill.
You said, 'My life's like a bad movie,'
I said, 'That's true of all us.'
You said, 'I've got to wake up so fucking early,'
I said, 'Maybe the director's turned on us.'
- minus the bear
~
5 songs that demand your best air drumming performance:
1) weezer - only in dreams
2) nirvana - lithium
3) foo fighters - everlong
4) the get up kids - i'm a loner dottie, a rebel
5) jimi hendrix - fire
~
- site update to come soon. hopefully before i have to start getting work to do this term
- i'm going to be making some cd's for those of you whom i haven't yet given a cd (meaning everyone. and cam, if you want you can have another)
fan participation
i will need the following things from you via email if you were part of the cd exchange:
- your 3 favourite songs
- your mailing address if i don't already have it
count backward from ten.
You've gone too long without sleep
I know you can't rest stressed, so give up.
Don't say no to pills,
Ativin won't kill.
You said, 'My life's like a bad movie,'
I said, 'That's true of all us.'
You said, 'I've got to wake up so fucking early,'
I said, 'Maybe the director's turned on us.'
- minus the bear
~
5 songs that demand your best air drumming performance:
1) weezer - only in dreams
2) nirvana - lithium
3) foo fighters - everlong
4) the get up kids - i'm a loner dottie, a rebel
5) jimi hendrix - fire
~
- site update to come soon. hopefully before i have to start getting work to do this term
- i'm going to be making some cd's for those of you whom i haven't yet given a cd (meaning everyone. and cam, if you want you can have another)
fan participation
i will need the following things from you via email if you were part of the cd exchange:
- your 3 favourite songs
- your mailing address if i don't already have it
Dec 18, 2004
self-imposed censorship
the tragic consequences of an overly exposed web journal -- everyone reads it. is "everyone" really the audience we want? even if it limits our outlet for creative and emotional catharsis?
christmas time is upon us once again, and i must say i don't feel particularly festive at the moment. i just feel....tired. i have things i have to do, errands to run, people to see. but all i want to do is sleep. and that's saying a lot considering i slept 9 hours already last night.
yet, there's nothing more depressing then having nothing going on.
i can honestly say that's my biggest fear in life -- to have nothing of significance in my life, to not have anything to live for, no reason to wake up in the morning (afternoon).
ok, time to run some errands. the days are too short, the nights are too long. that's what happens when you wake up at 2 in the afteroon.
christmas time is upon us once again, and i must say i don't feel particularly festive at the moment. i just feel....tired. i have things i have to do, errands to run, people to see. but all i want to do is sleep. and that's saying a lot considering i slept 9 hours already last night.
yet, there's nothing more depressing then having nothing going on.
i can honestly say that's my biggest fear in life -- to have nothing of significance in my life, to not have anything to live for, no reason to wake up in the morning (afternoon).
ok, time to run some errands. the days are too short, the nights are too long. that's what happens when you wake up at 2 in the afteroon.
Dec 17, 2004
the new......yau
i have no idea what kind of dog s/he is. but my brother says the name is bailey. soooo, i assume it's a boy. i want to play with him, but i'm too lazy to visit them. oh the dillema.
i wonder if they named him or got him with a name already, apparently they drove all the way down to the states to pick him up. he looks like this little porcelain dog my mom used to have in the basement of our house.
the "evil" dog from the old didomi kung-fu movie we made, hahahaha
Dec 15, 2004
moon river, wider than a mile
describing lebron james' performance so far this season:
"'It's like he is playing ahead of everyone else,' says Cavaliers point guard Jeff McInnis. 'He sees everything and knows what to do. It's like, you play PlayStation against him on the plane, and he is the same way. He knows what is coming, and he beats you.'"
that's HILLARIOUS, hahahaha
anyways, i'm free, and i'm going to play some ball to start the day.
mmmmm....christmas....
"'It's like he is playing ahead of everyone else,' says Cavaliers point guard Jeff McInnis. 'He sees everything and knows what to do. It's like, you play PlayStation against him on the plane, and he is the same way. He knows what is coming, and he beats you.'"
that's HILLARIOUS, hahahaha
anyways, i'm free, and i'm going to play some ball to start the day.
mmmmm....christmas....
Dec 13, 2004
t-minus: 1 day....
i don't actually know what i'll do when i get home.
but boy am i going to enjoy it.
but boy am i going to enjoy it.
Dec 8, 2004
2 down, 1 to go
in one week i'll be back in toronto.
one.....more......week.....
in other news, i wonder if thinking of and giving gift ideas is a skill?
are there GOOD gift givers and BAD gift givers?
i wonder what people consider me.
don't answer that.
one.....more......week.....
in other news, i wonder if thinking of and giving gift ideas is a skill?
are there GOOD gift givers and BAD gift givers?
i wonder what people consider me.
don't answer that.
Dec 6, 2004
Dec 2, 2004
internal dialogues: part duex
welcome to another episode of identity crisis simon. full of memorable moments like:
- the time he forgot he taped his glasses up
- the time his parents dressed him up as a girl
- the time he said he'd be a good student
in today's installment, the plot thicken as simon weighs the pros and cons of taking a nap in the midst of his heavy end of term work load.
i want to take a nap...but i shouldn't, because i know when i wake up it's going to be friday morning.
i guess i could set my alarm...
ah, who am i kidding, that never works. stay awake and work it is. but boy, i sure don't wanna work. i'm not even all that sure what it is i'm suppose to do, except i know it's already late. hmmmm....maybe it's time to drop out and start that band i've always wanted to start.....
maybe i'll eat something. or maybe i'll play some games. maybe i'll watch a bit of tv.....i did four pages of reading, i deserve a break.
i wonder how my basketball pool's doing....hm....
i wonder if other people spend as much time online as me. people need to update their blogs more often. i'm getting bored of reading the same thing hour after hour waiting for comments so i can show how clever and witty i am with my little quirky jabs.
i wonder why no one has commented on my new picture.
i wonder how often people actually visit my site. wouldn't it be strange if someone read my site as often as i read everyone elses?
man, i should get back to work. but there's so many gift ideas to share my input about. but i'm too lazy to post in all the forums. man. this gift thing is hard. we should all give each other a nice slap on the behind and be done with it.
why aren't i working? if i work for the next 4 hours, i'll be able to space it out pretty well after my dinner break and hopefully get this thing done by tomorrow afternoon. hm...or i might fall asleep. i bet i'm gonna fall asleep.
crap, i better not fall asleep.
man, i'm sleepy.
i should blog, i haven't blogged in a while.
- the time he forgot he taped his glasses up
- the time his parents dressed him up as a girl
- the time he said he'd be a good student
in today's installment, the plot thicken as simon weighs the pros and cons of taking a nap in the midst of his heavy end of term work load.
i want to take a nap...but i shouldn't, because i know when i wake up it's going to be friday morning.
i guess i could set my alarm...
ah, who am i kidding, that never works. stay awake and work it is. but boy, i sure don't wanna work. i'm not even all that sure what it is i'm suppose to do, except i know it's already late. hmmmm....maybe it's time to drop out and start that band i've always wanted to start.....
maybe i'll eat something. or maybe i'll play some games. maybe i'll watch a bit of tv.....i did four pages of reading, i deserve a break.
i wonder how my basketball pool's doing....hm....
i wonder if other people spend as much time online as me. people need to update their blogs more often. i'm getting bored of reading the same thing hour after hour waiting for comments so i can show how clever and witty i am with my little quirky jabs.
i wonder why no one has commented on my new picture.
i wonder how often people actually visit my site. wouldn't it be strange if someone read my site as often as i read everyone elses?
man, i should get back to work. but there's so many gift ideas to share my input about. but i'm too lazy to post in all the forums. man. this gift thing is hard. we should all give each other a nice slap on the behind and be done with it.
why aren't i working? if i work for the next 4 hours, i'll be able to space it out pretty well after my dinner break and hopefully get this thing done by tomorrow afternoon. hm...or i might fall asleep. i bet i'm gonna fall asleep.
crap, i better not fall asleep.
man, i'm sleepy.
i should blog, i haven't blogged in a while.
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